Anahid Hojjati

Ok Faramarz

I will go easy on you, and will not insist. It is nice that you read both versions and noticed the missing words, some of which are:

appreciated (too many syllables), ghormes Sabzi, Iranian, woman, and some others.

Anahid

That's an old trick!

You are asking me if I like the black shoes or the red shoes! I have been through that drill, so I am not going to fall in that trap!

"They both are great!" is the right answer!

Faramarz, Blame it on blank verse format.

The reason I changed my poem is that I am reading a book which explains what a blank verse is:

Blank verse: pentameter (five-foot) lines with no regular end rhyme.

So I took this poem which I had wriiten couple weeks ago and changed it to blank verse format and some words got left out. I hope even though some words are hurt, they recover quickly :).

If you have time, couple you please tel me whether you like first version or this one?

Remember that "neither one" will hurt my feeling.

Anahid, as a Woman!

Anahid,

As a woman, you are entitled to change your mind about what to wear, which shoes to buy or what to order from the menu. But you cannot keep changing your poems!

I mean, think about the words that you change and leave out. They have feelings too!

I am changing this poem

original version was:

Call the gardener

But respect his precious time

A precious man of god

is robbing him now

Purchase another pair of shoe

Your last one is now laughing at you

Don't forget more exercise and less food

Female poets become better as they look cuter

and they can post and pose, pose and post

until they have suckered people into admitting

indeed, this beautiful, little talented lady

has a good body and is a female Rumi

As a woman, remember also

to agree, cheer and support

speaking of support

I get to that for ending of this poem

for now, add to your list

to clean the house, and practice your ghormeh

an Iranian woman has to either post a killer picture

or cook a killer ghormeh sabzi

At the end of the day

make sure you have appreciated, admired,

liked, commented, cheered, supported,

empathized, sympathized, romanticized

 all humans, animals, even candles and butterflies

on various media

facebook and phone

e-mail and different websites

Thank god you are not on Twitter

and the list is to be continued

thanks Vildemose jan

I will check the blogs whose links you provided.

 you might like these

 you might like these blogs:

//etre-soi.blogspot.com/

 //hila-lumiere.blogspot.com/

//seenandsaid.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/going-turtle.html

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.--Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

Soosan jan

you are too kind but as i noted that the list is to be continued, couple action items on my list were about tasks regarding working to be a better poet. now if you introduce me to a new poet in next couple days or  blog about a great poem you read recently, i can mark off those items at least for a day or two :).

Dear Vildemose

thanks for the link. i did a quick view of her website and already couple of her articles resonated with me. she seems to be a dynamic lady.

Nice and Interesting poem ...

As a poet i think one doesn't need a killer photo to post or be a killer cook.

Just rhyme and be a killer poet which you are  ..

: )

 Dear Anahid, She has  a

 Dear Anahid, She has  a website: You can read more of her articles and poems:

//www.daniellelaporte.com/

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.--Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

Dear Vildemose

I liked the poem from "D. Laport". Thanks for introducing me to it. However, one issue with the poems like "D. Laport" is that they have general instructions about need to be more open but in real life, it is not as easy to do what this poem advises such as:

this is terrifying relief:
to merge
out in front
melting edges
contributing
punctuations of ecstasy
everyday happiness deepening

we know.

pulse open. open. open.

you will get hurt. shattered — guaranteed.
a glance will cut. denial will bruise, rejection will fracture.
you’ll cry. clenched. you’ll be infuriated. you may choose to walk away — agonized.
leave. quit. swing back. shoot a dart of defense.
you’ll regret it — more or less.

It is always good to be reminded that we need to be more open. It would be interesting to know whether in real life the person who wrote this poem, is indeed an open person or not.

 Dear Anahid, your poem

 Dear Anahid, your poem reminded of this one:

open wide.
give your desires words. out loud words.
tenderly gaze of the eye to eye.
expose your craving anyway you must, under a blanket or backed by a rented band.
reveal your intentions, clean.
stand there, vulnerable, waiting.
describe your dream, in detail.
clarify what you’re afraid of and give faith to the opposite.

engage every cell in fiercely wishing:
to be seen. to be graduated. adored. valued. validated. met.

the moment holds it all. give it then and there.
even if it didn’t work before, or you’re not sure what will come out of you to make for something new. (you can’t be sure)

blow off the past.

ask for what you want.

unzip the casing of your personality and let that inner layer feel the air. smart warm life.
do it in front of another being.

this is terrifying relief:
to merge
out in front
melting edges
contributing
punctuations of ecstasy
everyday happiness deepening

we know.

pulse open. open. open.

you will get hurt. shattered — guaranteed.
a glance will cut. denial will bruise, rejection will fracture.
you’ll cry. clenched. you’ll be infuriated. you may choose to walk away — agonized.
leave. quit. swing back. shoot a dart of defense.
you’ll regret it — more or less.

if you stay there, closed down ’round your core, then you’ll never leave the house feeling like yourself.
you’ll pad your soul with stuff destined for landfills.
piles of dislike and complaints will heave between you and bliss.
(bliss is possible. we know.)
itchy. tight. foggy. this happens when the heart is veiled.
nothing will ever be quite right, day after day.

pulse back open.
do it to be it.
lean toward.
worship your precious impulses.
focus to expansion.
this once.

open
up
any
way
.

D. Laport

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.--Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

Dear vildemose

Thanks for your visit and staying to have tea and cookie, metaphor for commenting. Trying to spice it up rather than just writing thanks for commenting :).

What a sweet and honest

What a sweet and honest little poem. Delightful...

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.--Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn.

thanks Daneshjoo

for your feedback.

Simple and honest feeling

Daneshjoo

Female poets become better as they look cuter

and they can post and pose,
pose and post

until they have suckered
people into admitting

indeed, this
beautiful, little talented lady

has a good body and is a
female Rumi

Beautiful, thank you for sharing

Thanks Divaneh,

About a killer picture, what I meant was a killer picture because it is so beautiful, as nowadays people are fond of saying: killer app, killer body. I first noticed this use of word killer when people talked about killer apps many years ago. As far as posting killer pictures, I think I would be too shy to do it but then we are not there yet :), we will see,  that is if we see.

Posting a killer picture

I think you have transferred your feeling very elegantly to the reader through this poem.

I am still not sure why you have to post a picture of a killer. Aren't Iranian women better posting their own pictures?

thanks Aynak for commenting

many "killer ..." are over rated.

Now that was cute

"for now, add to your list

to clean the house, and practice your ghormeh

an Iranian woman has to either post a killer picture

or cook a killer ghormeh sabzi"

BTW, "killer pictures" are highly over rated.