WOMEN

Dear IRANdokht

Thank you much for the kind words and for your honesty.

I can most definitely relate to much of what you say.  Most people would be surprised at the journey all of the actresses involved in the show had to go through in their own lives to reach a point where they were comfortable to say the word "vagina" to begin with, myself included. 

We have discovered it to be a common thread that binds us together.  We are all survivors of some form of pain, some form of trauma and, no matter how severe or mild, it adds to our experience as women... and this not only applies to us but to women everywhere and therein lies the beauty of the play.  There is a common thread there, for some it may be something concrete while for others a simple energy that is present, that draws us all in... as women, mothers, lovers, sisters, daughters, perhaps victims, hopefully survivors... and the list goes on...

... and the underlying sentiment?  I would say that there is a deep sense of compassion, a strong tie of sisterhood and a sheer electricity generated when we stand together and say the word "vagina", in the context in which it exists in the play, in front of an audience of people present to share in the experience and, in doing so, to add their voices to a global collective cry of "NO MORE", their presence a strong act of support and the funds collected a much needed help to a cause that has yet to be a front and center issue in any politician's agenda.

This year marks the ten year anniversary of V-Day and we are hoping for the next ten years to hold much more progress in store for us and we wish for men to stand beside us as our allies in the struggle and for the issue to be front and center, as it deserves to be...

 Oy!  That became a mouthful!  I did not mean for it to be so... it is late and I do love this cause so that I guess I just let my thoughts run free... I do hope that you see the play some day, and if this Thursday is that day then all the better for I do hope you stick around after to say hi!

Again, thank you much for your sweet comment and for your support... I had to jump on in out of my self-proclaimed retirement from commenting as sweet comments are hard to come by and much appreciated!  :-)

Be well and have a fabulous week!

 Leila

What a great cause! Good Luck to all of you

I have to admit that I have never shown much interest in the Vagina Monologues before, but I will make sure to catch the future performances now that I understand there is so much behind it and was introduced to the cause...

There are always hang-ups that we're not aware of, and I have to admit that I have resisted knowing about this subject probably due to my own hang-ups about my sexuality. I think Jane Fonda explained it best in her interview in one of those links.

Good luck to all of you and especially you Mrs Radan for including the Iranian women's crisis in their agenda. I already forwarded this article to many...

Best regards

IRANdokht

V-Superwoman, Azadeh Joon & Chick

Thank you all for your kind words of support and for understanding the matter at hand and, given this loony situation prevalent in the comments, for being able to formulate coherent thoughts and well thought out arguments and responses!  I applaud you and thank you for your words are refreshing in what is turning out to be a suffocating situation of ignorance in this comment section.

Chick, I have indeed perused other articles, per your request, and see that indeed most people tend to delight in attacking for attack's sake and that this may not be a forum for civilised dialogue and debate I am afraid.  I am indeed new to this site and its format so your words of advice have been taken to heart for I do now see that the "protocol", if it can be called that, here is not the same as what I am used to in other sites I peruse and write in...

 I have written for a number of American online publications, one of them huge and well known, under a pseudonym... several of my articles received well over 100 comments and never were they this vicious.  I suspect that there may indeed be a secret delight in simply "stirring up the shit" (pardon my French!) here so I will do what most writers here tend to do... opt out of the comments and let whatever drama wants to unfold here do just that.

I simply needed to jump in one last time and thank you three ladies for your sweet comments and support... as for those who think me "bitter", "angry" and "temperamental"... I do stand by everything stated thus far and would urge all who jump to such ridiculous conclusions and hold such negative and closed off views about a play they have yet to see to simply see the play first and then come to your OWN conclusions... think for yourselves... and if you are brave, seeing that I am a raging and boiling pot of uninhibited anger, approach me at your own risk after the show.  You never know what an out of control loon like me might do!

Hahahahaaa! Best to leave this behind me with laughter and so with that... I move on as I have a play to promote the hell out of!  Ciao for now and be well...

Azadeh ~ I applaud you!

Azadeh ~ I applaud you! Chick, you couldn't be more right. I do feel that there is a lot of time wasted here discussing the "bitterness" of Ms. Radan's comments, which is simply emblematic of the long-held argument against the "angry feminist" which so many people need to point out is "not the best way to engage people." Well, you may be right, but Ms. Radan is human, female and angry at the circumstances of women in society. She has every right to feel these things, every right to express them; and furthermore does not owe a single person a diplomatic response. She can be as angry as she wants to be, she's not running for public office. So put all your personal judgments away, and let's discuss the matter at hand.

To My Women Compatriots

I understand that Leila Radan is a performer who is presenting "the V-Day" and "The Vagina Monologues" to the readers in an article on this website. She is also asking us if we can in any way help her to spread the word.

I don't think making personal attacks on her "shortcoming" such as  her "bitterness, "anger" and "temperamanet" is relevant to her feminist message. As you know, no body is perfect, even not a feminist :-)

Also, bringing up Leila's adoption of her husband's name, although quite relevant in the context of a discussion among women regarding their identities, is quite irrelevant in the context of this article - which is about a collaborative performance piece in support of women and children's rights to be free from sexual violence.

If you do not agree with the show, please stick to the subject and elaborate on why you do not agree with it. The personal attacks among women who believe in the women's right are reminiscent of misogyny engraved in our unconscious. Let's free ourselves of the insidious culture of male-dominance and look at the forest instead of the tree. Thank you.

Azadeh

Don't waste your time

with these bozos. It is the habit of the commentators on this website to shit all over their target du jour and then, when said target actually answers them with intelligence and logic, they cry victim and whine to no end, all but forgetting they were the ones to throw the first jab. You have to realize you are not engaging in a constructive dialogue with any of them. They are not here to learn, or at the very least, to be open-minded. You seem new to this website. I encourage you to browse through the various sections to see the type of infantile name-calling and personal vendettas these truly bitter "bikaars" are engaging in here daily. (Not to mention their laughable spelling mistakes, see below). I guess some people take yoga, and some people believe leaving comments on public blogs is a form of personal therapy.

How come you don't really see Leila that

you're just getting weaker and weaker in each response, while that's not difficult to see by any of those you consider fool, if they cared to read in a cursory way all the comments bottom-up .... "Deconstruct?" You must be kidding.... In today's slang of Tehran they'd end this show, that is, the show on this page now by saying 'aareh to khoobi'! If you don't know the exact application of the slang phrase ask any Iranian under 30 who knows the literature of the youth and they'll explain it to you! PS: what's this obsession with 'intelligence'? Why do you need to scream you craft your argument intelligently so many times?

ThanksForRuiningIt

And, sadly, you just fall right into what I described in my comments...

 *sigh*

Ms Leila Radan I think you

Ms Leila Radan I think you have no idea how annoying you are.
You sound bitter and that has nothing to do with your gender and it is not a misinterpretation of your strength. You talk way too much.
People like you hurt the cause because you turn most people off.

Madame Bohemian...

No need to apologize... though do keep in mind that each production is different and though I have no problem with someone preferring to not watch the play, or not liking it, I don't think that not liking the play should be a reason to not support women's and children's rights (not saying that you don't)...

You mentioned that you will never donate to "their cause".  Don't, if you wish not to.  But just to clarify this is how it works... 10% of the profits of all V-Day productions globally go to a selected cause each year... this year's cause is to aid the women and children survivors of Katrina.  The remaining 90% of the profits go to two local charities of the local production's choice.  Our 90% of our V-Day SF 2008 proceeds are benefitting SF WAR and Generation Five.

My point... the play and the causes are different entities and should, hopefully, be seen as such.

zzz

Yeap, I've seen it and found it kind of boring. It actually put me to sleep. Sorry.

Madame Bohemian...

Have you seen it?

Either way... no worries.

To Cotton...

If that works for you, then fabulous!  And I do agree that it is indeed something to applaud that Iranian women do not need to change their last name but I do not agree that if a woman does indeed do that she is somehow belittling her worth.  I do agree that that is the case if society REQUIRES it of women but, as a feminist myself, it needs to be the woman's choice and, as such, respected and not questioned.

I am happy that you have such a clear mindset as to what works for you.  In that, we are indeed alike though the manifestation of our actions, with regards to our last names, has been different.  My past has shaped me to want otherwise, for personal reasons, but I do indeed support a woman's right to keep her last name and not ever be required to change it and to have it be a conscious choice, as was my decision to indeed change my last name to that of my husband's... which I consider mine more than his now anyways... I kid... maybe not.  ;-)

Thank you for your two cents and I hope you make it on down to our event!

To Anonymous000...

Re-read my comment to you... it was a deconstruction of a weak argument and pseudo attack against me by you where you made different presumptions about me and my educational background, when in fact you know nothing about me to support such assumptions and attacks.

 And I stand by everything I have said to date with regards to this supposedly "bitter attitude" of which you speak.  Your words, predominantly in your first comment, simply add to the sad state of affairs that exists in the world today whereby a woman's show of strength  leaves her wide open to personal attacks whereas a man's show of strength is "natural" and a thing to be admired. 

So the above two paragraphs are to finish off my commenting with regards to your first comment as you do refer to our original interaction in your latest comment.  But no, I do not take it personally.  None of the readers know me so how could they truly attack me?  They do attack whatever perceived notion they have created of me in their heads and that is sad to see as I would hold more respect for them if they had something well researched and intelligent to actually say but this?  No.  I do not respect most of it.

And if you do return and reread your original comment and then reread your latest one, can you not see that you yourself are more polite in this last one?  You have obviously been affected somehow by my argument and are making a better effort at changing your tone and tactic, for you did in fact make assumptions as to my person and attacked this perceived notion of me whereas I did, at no point in time, attack you but your words instead.  But, for the record, your attempt to make nice with me has not gone unnoticed so my response to this latest comment would be this...

I am appreciative for the fact that you seem to show more introspection in this "round".  :-)  My problem is not with someone holding a different opinion other than mine.  Not at all.  I have close friends of widely differing opinions and from different walks of life and we get along splendidly.  The secret?  Intelligent conversation and well-thought out points and arguments are the basis of our conversations and communication.  If you do re-read my writing thus far you will see that, unless specifically stated, I at no time attack the commenters but rather their weak arguments.  And I AM offended by their even trying to criticize and attack a topic that they know nothing about... case in point, this play... as I find that sloppy and ignorant, to say the least.  To them I would say that if you are going to do something then do it right and watch it first, formulate your OWN opinion and don't throw back regurgitated, last minute googled words not your own in the meantime!

So what am I supposed to do then?  Smile and take it?  No... I simply speak my mind, get to the point, deconstruct their arguments and simply do not mince any words or pretty up the discussion as, to me, that is a part of this whole fight for equal rights.  Why should I have to pretty up my language?  Why is it ok for my person to be attacked when all I have done is write with strength and intelligence?  I take my time to formulate well thought out responses and I opt to not take a passive route in doing so.  Sadly, this is seen as a "bitter" and "angry" act but I stand by my words and convictions and completely disagree.  And we must simply agree to disagree then for we view this issue with different eyes seeing that you believe that I react bitterly to criticism and see sarcasm in most of the comments.  I do not believe this to be so for the reasons just stated above which I do hope help to explain where I am coming from whilst writing out my responses and how, in fact, I view my very responses.

"Successful recruiting to a good cause means conquering people's hearts and minds together, you lose one and the cause is already lost." I disagree based on the very simple fact that you will NEVER conquer ALL who read you... it is impossible or else how would we explain the range of differing opinions, philosophies, lifestyles, political parties, personalities and whatnot out there?  In theory, it is a beautiful thought but there is a danger in holding such a thought as a base belief as in trying to please all you cannot help but compromise your original beliefs and stance and I am not willing to do that.  As I have stated repeatedly, I do stand by everything I have said thus far.

I am heartened to hear that you do not take issue with the play though I do believe that you are misreading my comments and their tone... and the whys and wherefores have already been dissected and explained in the paragraphs preceding this one...

I thank you for your well wishes and look forward to a successful show as well... and if you do manage to make it on over do not hesitate to stop by and say hello... I promise I won't bite!

 :-)

no

I don't like this show. I will never donate to their cause.

To "Recommendation"...

Funny how my deconstruction of weak arguments have you labeling me "temperamental" but your actual attack on my person, when you do not even know me, is supposed to be ok.  I pity the fool that takes you seriously... now THAT is a polite attack and based on an actual, factual reason.  Let that be a lesson to you.

Namaste.

my name stays the same

As a feminist who lives her life as she believes, I would never, ever, change my last name to become my husband's, no matter what. It sends a wrong message, that somehow him, his family, or his name is more important than than mine. Even if I had an odd or hard to spell paternal name that interfered with my profession or for whatever reasons, I still devise other plans, such as abbreviating my own name, choosing my maternal family name or parts of it, or just choosing a brand new last name that I like, but never his. I makes me feel as if I am wearing something that that does not quite belong to me. One thing I really like about the Iranian culture, is that women keep their last names. I also have problems that children in general take the paternal last names, but that would be a different topic.

Leila jaan

you just proved me right and that's just such a pity when the cause in question is so great. I'm glad I was still online and caught it not to have left the conversation unfinished. You don't read me right, or at least give your interlocular the benefit of the doubt of someone even half-intelligent as yourself. When I say 'two more reasons', knowing that you're an Iranian woman, it must ordinarily be refering to 'two more reasons' than the Iranian-ness and woman-ness. no? But since I take you seriously that self-victimization is not in question here (even though there's evidence suggesting otherwise in what you say), let's just leave that aside. No of course, an invitation for such a good cause could not be the source of any outrage (if there's any to begin with), in particularly an invite as sweetly written as you have, but that does not detract from the fact that you react bitterly to any criticism, and choose to read them all as just sarcasm (well some on this page are in fact sarcastic and should be just ignored but not all). All I was and still am saying was that you just lose audience if you don't take that into consideration. Now again this may cause another harsh note on your side, but I hoep not....I sincerely hope you just take a deep breath and 'try to' believe that it's not about you, it's not a personal attack, but rather it's about how to find the best strategy to convert the nonbelievers. Successful recruiting to a good cause means conquering people's hearts and minds together, you lose one and the cause is already lost. I wish you best of luck in this endeavour and hope you have lots of fun next week :)

Leila khanoom

You have been a Yoga instructor? Aren’t you? Hopefully you have quitted that job. It is not imaginable someone with your tamper as Yoga instructor. On the other hand maybe it’s a good idea to attend as a student in Yoga class after each play/live demonstration.

Anonymous000

Last I checked I was still an Iranian as well as a woman so you do not have two MORE reasons than me and as far as discrimination goes we are in the same boat... I could perhaps even claim myself to be more of a minority seeing that I am Iranian/Danish, raised between Spain and the US without having ever truly lived in either one of my countries making me a different kind of minority but this is not a pissing contest and I am not interested in victimizing myself for that is not what I am nor something I ever plan on being.

 As for this "bitterness" you accuse me of possessing... re-read your words and then re-read mine... all of them... my article and my comments.  My words exude strength and if that is seen as bitterness because of the mere fact that it comes from a woman, then so be it.  Your words are angry and sarcastic and hold no weight, no clearcut argument, no clear examples of the point you are trying to make, if any at that seeing that your words seem to lack a point and without a solid point to hold them together they become an empty and angry attack against me.

I would suggest that you allow for some moments of introspection in your life and that you try to pinpoint the source of this rage.  Can an invite to a play really be the cause?  I think not.

to Leila

Leila, your really need to work on that bitter attitude. Take this from a woman and an Iranian in that, who actually has at least two more reasons (identity wise) to be discriminated against. My disagreement with the way you're fighting this fight aside (because that could be argued more constructively than what I suspect your attitude allows --based on your comments on this site), I for one, no matter in what situation --in real jail or everyday prisonhouse of masculinity dominance of any society, would refuse to be supported by a group represented by an attitude such as what I've seen in your brief presence here. I'd just say, 'no thanks', as despite all (possible) good intentions, you just lose this battle because you just don't know any better; you've not spent enough time learning the history and the strategies of successful warriers. Take this or leave it, as I so rarely visit this site that won't perhaps see your response, bitter or not, but at least think about it for a minute or less of your precious time.

Fabulous V-Superwoman...

Thank you, V-Superwoman, for adding your obviously well-informed and eloquent "two cents" to this debate.  You have indeed shed much light on a topic that needs all the attention it can get and for that I am grateful to you.

And for the record, I am, of course, in agreement with everything you say and honored to say that I could gladly let you speak on my behalf! I do hope you join us come March 6th!  You are a lady I would indeed love to meet!

Thank you Azadeh Joon...

Dear Azadeh,

Thank you for your kind words and for jumping into the fray with support in your heart and in your intentions.  Your comment was indeed a heartwarming one to be greeted by!

As for the monologue you chose to link to, AH!  "My Vagina Was My Village" is indeed the piece that I will be performing!  We have chosen a different take and approach to the SFSU version but it is indeed a powerful and heartwrenching piece.

 Thank you for both links.  They are fabulous!  I do hope to have the pleasure of meeting you at our event!

Sincerely,

Leila

Reply to Kaveh...

The impassioned V-Superwoman has done a fine job at jumping into the fray and of speaking eloquently and intelligently on the subject matter at hand.

 I will let her response stand as my chosen response as I happen to agree with everything as stated. 

I will, however, add this... I firmly believe that a society's cultural advancement, or lack thereof, is directly related to the attitudes prevalent in its sexual mores and in its treatment of all pertinent subject matter... our chosen vernacular, at the very base, being one such subject matter that comes to light in viewing your comment.

 Why such an issue with the word VAGINA?  Why does such an innocent word, a mere name of a precious and valuable body part, tend to incite such anger and rage... such blinding and prejudicial thought?  That, in and of itself, is indicative of a larger problem within society itself, problems that lie at the heart of the existence of the play itself, problems of which V-Superwoman speaks of so well.  That attitude, when at the base of our society's regard and judgement of women, is utterly instrumental in debasing a woman's very worth and in allowing for the situation that is abuse, rape, violence (and the list goes on) against her very being to run rampant and unchecked and that is what we are fighting... we are indeed warriors, VAGINA WARRIORS, out of need.  Oh how we wish that there was no such need!

Read my replies to "Anonymous" down below for a more in-depth picture of my opinions and the content matter and purpose of the play and of the use of the word VAGINA.  Read both of V-Superwoman's comments for this is apparently a well-informed woman abreast of the issues at hand.  And with regards to my own comments, this snippet written to Anonymous, comes to mind:

"If you bring it ["it" being the differences between the genders] down to the very base difference, it lies in the genitals and that is the point.  It is RIDICULOUS to judge someone on their gender and so the use of the word VAGINA is to make just that point.  We are not only vaginas, not just a uterus... there is more to us as women and it is ludicrous that second-class citizenship exists at all let alone based on such ridiculous criteria... if being a different gender can be classified as such to begin with."

Your comment, your prevalently sarcastic attitude, makes you one of the best audience members we could ask for so I do hope that you decide to come and see for yourself.  I am confident that once you view the play your mind, and your heart, will be changed for ever so please join us at the Castro Theatre come Thursday, March 6th, for what promises to be an incredible experience in advocacy.

to address the topical

to address the topical argument: "if there were a play written about the male genitalia, there would be outrage" ~ the global statistics, as reported by then UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan are these: 1 in 3 women will be beaten or sexually violated in her lifetime. 1-in-3. At the risk of bringing it a little too close to home this means: if you were to gather together your grandmother, your mother & your girlfriend (in the platonic sense of the word) global statistics say that one of them would have been beaten, raped, molested or incested in her lifetime. If your "group of 3" were lucky enough to have escaped these circumstances, that only means that within the next grouping of three women, this will be true for 2 of them, or all of them. In my education & experience, this holds startlingly true.

You WILL NOT find these same statistics for men. And please consider all the many differences between living life as a male and living life as a female, before you dismiss the obvious need for this play. Not only do The Vagina Monologues address serious subject matter that is still dangerously considered taboo, the play (perhaps more invaluably) offers an artistic expression of solidarity, a place where one can go to be with other women (and men) to laugh, cry, relate and empathize with the varying stories of many women. period.

oh, and for your own education: Vagina Warrior - any *person* that advocates for women (ie. women's rights, women's autonomy, women's freedoms) It is an intentionally inclusive term, designed, once again, to create a feeling of solidarity. I for one am fiercely proud of being a Vagina Warrior. Again, I offer up an invitation to those who have not witnessed first-hand the remarkable effect this play has on it's audience to attend with an open mind.

An Excellent Show

Dear Leila,

Thank you for being another voice for the Iranian women. I saw The Vagina Monologue in French in Montreal a few years ago. It was quite interesting.

//www.vdaymontreal.blogspot.com/

I'd like to invite those who have a negative view of this show, to watch the following sample video and ponder on the deeper meaning of the production.

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hoafl4B_noI&NR=1

Azadeh

It's a One-Sided Matter

If there were a similar presentation regarding male genitalia, there would be public outrage.

And what on earth is a Vagina Warrior? Some new comic book superhero? As warriors are usually armed for combat, what is the Vagina Warrior's weapon?

A speculum?

:-) V-Superwoman to the rescue! WOOH!

Very beautifully put dear V-Superwoman!  Very impassioned, very succinct and with a beautiful flow and PUNCH!  You are obviously one who knows the play well and indeed a true Vagina Warrior!

Thank you for touching on what I did not and for adding so much more depth to what this is all about!  Anonymous, heed her words for they are spot on!

To *Anonymous* writer of

To *Anonymous* writer of "Controversial show even in USA": you are obviously misled. Have you not seen the show?? what about "Bob?" if you recall, he loved to look at it. What about the many monologues that have NOTHING TO DO WITH FEMALE SEXUALITY?? as in "I was there in the room"? which simply pays tribute to the awesome and life-giving power of the vagina? what about the "reclaiming cunt" piece which gives a powerful ownership over a word that is still used today as the most offensive of female-derogatory insults, much like "bitch" was 20 years ago?? i think perhaps you focus too much on the few homo-sexual monologues, which rightfully have their place in constituting a whole dynamic of female experience..

Perhaps you should open your heart to the more important matters, addressed in the monologues "my vagina was my village" where the truth of rape as a modern day war-tactic is laid bare for all to see, and "the memory of her face" which speaks to the innocent civilians of Baghdad, the acid-victims of Islamad and the horrifying mysteries of the women of Juarez, Mexico.. these are the issues which should be drawing your attention: not simply the true fact that some women find LOVE in the arms of other women.. why don't you come and expose *yourself* to the play, and then see if you still feel like throwing stones??

~ Vagina Warrior

I beg to differ.

Obviously or else I would not write the way I do.

 Age hamaro farari dadam then what made you jump on into the fray?  I must have engaged you somewhat to prompt you to leave a comment.

All in all... fabulous!