C-shows

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Shahriar Zangeneh
by Shahriar Zangeneh
29-Jun-2009
 

For those who appreciate and take orgasmic like primal pleasure in viewing IRIB, Islamic Republic of Iran Broadcasting, the sporadic confessional shows, C-show for short, are must see TV.  Whatever it is can wait, life is too short to not reward oneself with ample finer things in life.  When it comes to IRIB’s C-shows I just can’t bear the thought of missing a second of any. The TiVo and other recording gadgets are good, but viewing the C-shows at the exact same time as millions of others and the bond it creates between all adds to the experience.

  Unfortunately for some times now the picking has been, to say the least, slim.  For sure there have been few C-show episodes of chatter box MKO agents who also freelance at Mossad, CIA and MI6 or is it MI5? Any way it doesn’t really matter, even though the new digitally blared faces gives them a look of freshness, truth be told, they have a rerun feel to them.

Don’t take me wrong, I like C-show reruns as much as the next guy/gal and wouldn’t trade any episode with anything, to me they are like watching Honeymooners for the nth time.  One knows the plot and even the exact moment Ralph starts his silent practice routine before apologizing to Alice for his latest screw-up, be honest could anything be as precious as that, of course not.  But should a never aired episode be found in some long forgotten film vault, oh the thought of it, be still the pacemaker assisted beating heart, be still.

 Now after the long preamble, here comes the equally rambling long epilogue. To have exquisite taste in finer things in life requires flight of fancy, some wishful creative thinking and whole lot of luck.   Take for example the stuff that is alleged to have happened in Iran recently. To some all the alleged beatings, alleged shootings and the alleged murders, all allegedly filmed by hundreds if not thousands of alleged victims/bystanders including one starring an alleged victim named Neda27 who has allegedly died.  

Good thing Professor Strunk is no longer with us or he would have had a fit over that last sentence. Back to the alleged events in Iran, to some they might be a tragedy of some indefinable proportion, not to me. It is just another opportunity to hope and plan for a whole lot of C-shows.

Lets see, the grassy knoll conspiracy theory that is building up around the angle of sniper’s shot which is alleged to have hit the alleged victim, Neda27; can spawn a weekly c-show by itself. It could be dedicated to exposing the real shooter(s) of the alleged shot and all the ones who took the alleged videos that millions of people think that they have seen.

It is also a perfectly ripe opportunity to hope for an army of schmucks from all walks of life who after finding out how they were led astray from righteousness by the Leprechauns voluntee for individual C-show episodes. And since there is no limit to wishful thinking, lets say they are joined by the rank and file of former Islamic Republic insiders, lets throw in a former VP, lots and lots of familiar public faces, even one of the founders of the hush hush service who too feel compelled to step forward for a C-show experience paraplegic      

If God grants me these wished for C-shows, I promise to never bother Him, or to be on the politically correct safe side, Her, again, and live out my life perfectly content with my beloved C-shows, will even stop the nightly prayer for that red Lamborghini.  In anticipation of the blessed hoped for event I‘ve bought a 50 pound sack of healthy baked potato chips, two 10 gallon drums of  carb & taste free dips and five cases of diet Coke from my nearby Costco,  let the show begin, pretty please.

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