From the desk of an Iranian-American teenage girl.

Family gatherings at an Iranian household consist of numerous things: little kids running around, more food than you can bear to look at, and conversation- loud conversation. But have no fear, if you can't speak Farsi, it only takes a few phrases to win the hearts of anyone.

Kheili khoobam: Upon entering you are bombarded with the loving arms of your elders and the same question "Khoob hast?" Unless you want to be stuck in the doorway for the rest of the night, you better know how to at least say this.

What to do with the people you do not recognize but allegedly know: There's always that one person you don't know that says, "Do you remember me? The last time I saw you you must have been four. You are really becoming a grown woman." But of course you can't say "Um sorry, I have no recollection of who you are." So what do you do? –No, silly, you don't call Ghostbusters! You say, "of course I remember you, did you lose weight?"

Sometimes there are people you've actually never met before, and when they are forming their first impressions about you, it doesn't hurt to say, "kheili khoshgeli," regardless of their gender.

And when you are eating those four-course meals your grandmother slaved over you better say, "gaza khoobe."

If the party is a total drag you can discretely beg your mother to "barem."

 Warning: In the event you put on a few pounds since last seeing the people there, you might want to do some last minute crunches because I can guarantee someone will say behind your back "chagh shodeh."