Pajamas and other things


Pajamas and other things
by Multiple Personality Disorder

They give nice pajamas to political prisoners in Iran, at least to the ones that go on public trials.  Myself, I don’t like pajamas.  They are too restrictive for me when I sleep, so I sleep naked, you know, let my balls breathe a little.  I don’t think Iranian political prisoners are allowed to breathe their balls.  Well, as a matter of fact I don’t think they want anyone anywhere in Iran to have balls all together, except for themselves.  What I just said might sound like a male chauvinistic statement, to assume everyone has balls, so let me add this, they don’t want Iranian men to have balls and they want women to wear veils.  I don’t know why, but that’s how it is over there.  If you have balls you have to wear pajamas, if you don’t have balls you have to wear veils.

Next item, I can’t keep up with all these new words coming out of Iran.  Ahmadinejad tanfiz shod (تنفیذ شد).  First I thought he took a shower, then, I’m not kidding you, I saw a picture of him sitting on the floor like a cat that just ate the canary, and I thought maybe he’s done something that he wasn't supposed to do and the glorious Supreme Leader spanked him for it.  That’s what I thought tanfiz was supposed to mean, getting spanked, but then when I read more I figured he must’ve been promoted or something, so then I had to look it up in the dictionary.  It means he’s been confirmed!  The Supreme Leader just confirmed his hand picked president!  And now, it’s official!  Hold your horses!  He has not been tahlif (تحلیف) yet.  I know tahlif doesn’t mean the end of that thing that people use to wash themselves in bathhouses.  I already read about it.  So, back to the dictionary, it means official taking of an oath, Oath of Office.  I hope when he takes his Oath of Office he won't take it on Quran because I don't think he believes in it.  I hope he’ll swear to the life of his children not to lie anymore, because the other day I heard him say Neda was killed by CIA, or something like that, and also he keeps saying beh shoma mehr mivarzim (به شما مهر می ورزیم), and they keep beating the crap out of people, and I see more and more people in morgues, and I see pictures of people with bullets in their heads, and in Behesht-e-Zahra people being attacked by security forces, and I’m saying to myself, you idiot mehr used to mean love but you have been away from Iran for too long and meaning of some words have changes over the years, you know, like gay.  Gay used to mean happy, but now it means a homosexual person.  So, I think mehr used to mean kindness but now it means screw you.  be shoma mehr mevarzim means screw you, we torture you, we'll kick you...  There!  Now it makes more sense that way.

khes o khashak (خس و خاشاک), what the hell is that supposed to mean!  khes: small chips of wood, mote, thorn, a mean person.  So I get it now.  He doesn’t mean people are thorns.  He means they are ’mean people’.  He means IRANIAN people are mean people!  Well!  That’s really great!  We have a tanfizi president that’s saying Iranian people are mean people!  khashak: mote, chips of wood, brushwood!  That’s not going to work well!  I was hoping khashak might mean something like ’low-life’, you know like Iranian people are ’mean’ and low-life.  Those two words together like that would make a lot of sense, but the way khashak is defined we’re back to being wood chips again.  Well, I thought of something!  Way back then we had a carpentry shop (نجاری) in Tehran.  We used to get a lot of saw dust (خاک اره) all over us working in the shop.  Maybe that’s what he means, a lot of people have become carpenters and they get a lot of saw dust all over themselves, so they look like khes o khashak.  That makes more sense like that.

One day one million carpenters decided that they had enough of this, and without dusting themselves off they marched in the streets!

I wonder what happened to our carpentry shop back home.  It looks like it's becoming a very popular trade in Iran.


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more from Multiple Personality Disorder

now I get the parallel

by Monda on

between velayat faghih view of people 

«مردم جاهل و ناقصند و ناکامل اند و نیازمند کمالند و شرعاً احتیاج به قیم دارند.» 

and AN's

 خس و خاشاک!

  Brilliant MPD!


Very nice!

by sima on

Truly observant. Afarin.

Ari Siletz

MPD, you're brillig!

by Ari Siletz on

Thanks for the clarification on "vali." Royalty. We gave this valet fagheeh the keys to the car, and he thought we meant he now owned it.

Multiple Personality Disorder

ولایت فقیه

Multiple Personality Disorder


یکی از بهترین منبع ِ اطلاعات در موردِ ولایت فقیه کتابِ «تولدی دیگر» نوشتهء شجاع الدّین شفا می باشد که کتابی بسیار کمدی تراژدی است، که خواننده را هم به گریه و هم به خنده می اندازد.  کتاب در صفحهء ١٢ بخش ِ سر آغاز در مورد ولایت فقیه چنین می گوید:

[در میانِ ١٨٨ کشور ِ امروز ِ جهان، ایران تنها کشوری است که بطور ِ رسمی ِ قانونِ اساسی ِ کنونی خود در یک رژیم ِ قیمومیتِ قانونی بسر می برد، و بنیانگذار ِ این رژیم  خود تصریح کرده است که این قیمومیت، قیمومیت شرعی ِ قیم بر صغیر است و قیم ِ ملت با قیم صغار (جمع صغیر) از لحاظِ وظیفه و موقعیت فرقی ندارد (روح الله خمینی: ولایت فقیه) و هم او برای اینکه جای شبهه ای باقی نماند لزوم این قیمومیت را چنین توجیه کرده است که «مردم جاهل و ناقصند و ناکامل اند و نیازمند کمالند و شرعاً احتیاج به قیم دارند.»]

ولایت: حکومت و امارت سلطان
ولی:  قیم، نگهبان، مستحفظ
فقیه:  دانا و دانشمند

در واقع در قدیم ولایت فقیه بمعنی حکومتِ شخصی دانا و دانشمند بوده است، ولی (لیکن) امروزه معنی ولایت فقیه در عرض و طولِ سی سالِ گذشته عوض شده و فقیه بمعنی شاهنشاه است، یعنی ولایت فقیه بمعنی حکومت شاهنشاهی ِ آخوندی است.  چنانکه می بینیم شاهنشاهء آیندهء ایران مجتبی خامنه ای خواهد بود،  ولی (لیکن) اگر بجنبیم شاید چیز ِ دیگری بشود.

Ari Siletz

Very funny

by Ari Siletz on

MPD, since you seem to have better acces to research material, I have always wondered about the term "Vali e Faghih." My tourist dictionary says "vali" means "but." I called up the publishers and they swear its not a typo. Could you clear this up? Thanks in advance.


They also give them

by Anonymouse on

They also give them Otafukus!  Did you notice them?  Also, notice the police guy sitting next to Abtahi.  Notice his glasses, isn't it alamode (latest fashion)?!

They also give different kind of pajamas to different kind of prisoners. Here's one and another one.  Looks like they're trying to be more polite to Abtahi and others and giving them plain pajamas!  Also, the pajamas are for more formal events such as trials, otherwise they give them t-shirts !

Everything is sacred.

Anahid Hojjati

Dear MPD, sad article but very nicely written

by Anahid Hojjati on

Dear MPD, as always you show how hyprocrite leaders of IRI can be.  I especially like where you write about Ahmadinejad using the word "mehr" while: "...they keep beating the crap out of people, and I see more and more people in morgues, ..."



by fozolie on