by Latina

The Ideal Man can be such an elusive concept. It can mean many different things to many people. Where does one even begin to make a list of the characteristics sought in the "Ideal Man"? Universal truths do exist which are educated, cultured, understanding, caring, compassionate, mentally, emotionally and financially stable.

Of course,then we have the physical appearance of said man. It is different for every woman as well in their particular tastes. I suppose as long as he is physically fit for his age, height and body shape. Yes, I know that I am being rather general.

Okay, now time for the specifics. Yes, a woman must find the man physically attractive otherwise there will be no chemistry. I know what you are thinking. What does science have to do with the "Ideal Man"? Well, without chemistry there will be no passion in the relationship. If there is no passion in the relationship then why on earth would you want a man in your life as a romantic partner.

Don't get me wrong men can make excellent platonic friends. One more thing he must be able to be your friend first and actually get to know you. None of this rushing the relationship just to meet his needs so to speak. I don't know about you but I don't have any intentions of being used.

If he can't take the time to know me then he will never be my man. A good listener would be very nice. Someone who loves Iran as much as I do. Who dislikes the current government of Iran as much as I do. A man that can agree to disagree. A man that will be there to listen to you when you have just undergone major dental surgery. A man that will take the time to talk to you when you have been hospitalized.

Let us not forget a man that totally adores you. Thinks that you are not only dangerously gorgeous but on the verge of being a femme fatale even when you don't have much make up or don't feel that hot. LOL A man that can just sit with you on a bench and enjoy the park like setting or ocean view. The view is totally awesome sitting on a bench in Kema. Just watching those yachts passing by as the wind gently blows on my hair. Just sitting next to him in his arms without having to say a single word.

No one to bother you. No one making demands or expecting things from you. Just you and your man in your own little world. Afterwards, you can have a wonderful meal. Especially if it is Persian food. Oh yes! I would love for my Ideal Man to know how to cook Persian food.  A nice foot massage would not hurt either. LOL 

Before anyone starts to chew me out! Yes, I would be just as good to my man. :o) I would go to the ends of the world for my man. My Ideal Man would not let anything stop him from being by my side.  Now, ladies what would you be willing to do to find your "Ideal Man"? Just to be with the most compatible man to you.......your soul mate.

PS: Yolanda, I will need your assistance in finding some suitable music to go with this blog. Thanks! :o)



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more from Latina

Ideal Man

by Latina on

impromptu poem:


Ideal Man


The Ideal Man is not a perfect man

He is simply human, full of flaws

He is kind, compassionate and caring

Excellent sense of humor is a must

Never aloof and always approachable


A hardworking man is always good

If he could only make time

It would be so lovely

Intelligence is of the essence

Easy going would be so nice


Add to it huggable, lovable and cuddable

Passionate and affectionate is also nice

A man that will love one truly

Completely for whom one is

Fidelity is a definite must


JD, have you heard the master's version?

by Monda on

In fact I believe Grinninger trained with Segovia for a few years. Too bad the recording's ancient.  //

I agree, this piece IS the most passionate ever written for guitar. Thanks for your post. It's also very enlightening to read a sane Male perspective once in awhile :o)



Vicky Cristina Barcelona

by Arthimis on

For the sake of art , contributing something sexy to add to all the beautiful comments on this blog:

Hope you enjoy...





by Latina on

Jeesh Daram,

Thank you very much for your posted comment and video clip. I just love the guitar. I wish I had learned to play it.

 Your words do contain much truth to them and a great deal to reflect on.




Thank you for your posted comment. Yes, I totally agree....being nice to the ladies goes a long way.




Long time no sea. LOL So nice of you to visit my humble blog. Totally awesome video clip! I just loved watching it over and over ............again. sure is tough being a man out there in the cruel........cold world. LOL




Wishing you the best always!





Bijan AM

by Latina on

Actually, I am in my very early 40's. I look at least ten years younger though or so I have been told many times.

Let just say I have gained great wisdom at a very wonderful age. :o)

If only it were so that he was closer than I thought. Hey! One can dream....hope.  As long as there is hope there is life...........

I would like to note that this blog was written at the request of a new friend. It was not really intended as my searching for  a man on this web site.

I am glad that I did write  the blog. It helped me to gain an even better understanding on relationships from those that posted comments.

Thank you for your well wishes!


Bijan A M

Dear Latina

by Bijan A M on

I think I found you what you are looking for, LOL. I don’t know how old you are, but assume mid 50’s (because if you were any younger you wouldn’t know this much). If my assumptions are right, the perfect man is the one you spent most of your life with without telling him what you expect from him. You always expected that he SHOULD know everything that you have been dreaming about in this blog.

Many men who post here could be the one if they were not already owned by the other Latina (their wives, girlfriends, etc....)

Your man is a lot closer to you than you think.  

Anahid Hojjati

Souri jan, some prefer cleaning and some love cooking

by Anahid Hojjati on


Dear Rendd, I found your postings interesting but I was surprised how upset you got with what Souri wrote.  You may not even read this since you wrote that you are done with this thread. As she said it was a joke and even if Someone writes this seriously, it is only truth that Iranian men on average expect mour housework done by their wives.  That is on average and it is not something to get upset about it.  It is just a fact that is observed in society by many including by us women in Diaspora. 

Souri jan, thanks for your participation on this thread.  I actually like cleaning and I like cooking too.  It is only issue of time. There are simply not enough hours to do work ouside home, be involved with art and culture, cook, clean, give rides to kids, spend time with family, etc, etc. so people outsource some of these tasks. Many people have house cleaner which means that they have outsourced at least part of house cleaning.



baba mageh chi goftam?

by Souri on

I said I was lucky, because an Iranian husband would not keep me more than 2 weeks! LOL, this is what my Iranian friends keep telling me :0)


Souri, Yolanda

by Rendd on

You got your point across in your first comment and I think it's a spilled water now.
I am sorry to go over the board about you. It was an insensitive comment from me.

I am ok. Thanks for your kind words!

Take care all!



by yolanda on

Hi! Rendd,

You are a nice guy! I hope you are OK!

Please take care!



Dear Rendd

by Souri on

That was meant to be a joke, sorry if I offended you. Don't worry so much about my happiness in my relationship.

This is a general and fun blog. Take it easy!



by Rendd on

"My only luck is that my husband is not iranian!! LOL, I knew how to choose :)"

I hate "do pahloo" (implying) conversations. Based on your standard that you have set to choose or not an Iranian man, I can say you are a typical Iranian woman.

To give you my piece of mind. As a rule of thumb, I don't think you are happy in your relationship, or even with yourself, since if you were, you didn't have to shove it in our face.

I am done with this thread!



by Rendd on

I talk for myself, I think I would be much happier if I know what I am supposed to do other than the obvious tasks. (this is after I see a chemistry in the relationship)

So, to decide who is to cook or recite poetry is up to the couples but it should be clearly communicated and agreed on. But does it make me an ideal man? Don't know and don't want to know. If I click with someone I will make efforts to make her happy as long as she does the same, but if she doesn't, she can take a walk. Life is too short!


Can I give my point? :)

by Souri on

Anahid jan, I am not a man but as a woman can I say what I think?

Well, as a woman who loves poetry and art, I can tell you I am a very good cooker but hate cleaning and dusting!

Honestly, I don't think a poet woman can do much of house-keeping stuff :) or she will be very bad at it!

My only luck is that my husband is not iranian!! LOL, I knew how to choose :)

Anahid Hojjati


by Anahid Hojjati on


Repeat of my last comment. JJ, please delete.

Anahid Hojjati

Dear JD, very interesting comment but what if most men are ...

by Anahid Hojjati on


Dear JD, your comment is great and somewhat :) helpful. I say somewhat since I think many men might still prefer a good cook to a poet. They might even think a woman who is too much into art and culture, will not have enough time for housework. Guys on this thread, what do you think?


JD jaan agree w/ most of ur comment except entertainment ideas!

by Anonymouse on

I made a comment about ideal zan is one who is employed or employment ready.  I used the word "these days" but I didn't mean it as this current recession that started in late 2008 with the housing market crash and the mortgage crisis.  I meant the past 20 or 30 years. I really think an employed or employment ready (independent) woman is a turn on and something that women should consider an asset, regardless of the job or career or salary.  I think these days men run away from women who are focused on their financial "stability".

I agree that the old fashioned stuff are now taboo.  Now some stuff like entertainment planning by women while not in the taboo category are still painful for men! As an example, the constant wanting to go out and dance (regardless of how awful he or she dances ;-) or getting up early the next day to do more stuff is not necessarily entertainment! 

Maybe it'd be better to leave out the entertainment issue out of the evaluation criteria!

Everything is sacred.

Jeesh Daram

ask what you can do for your ideal man :)

by Jeesh Daram on



I believe a woman who wants to find a mate in today's world and with the modern tools available, will have a far better chance if in addition to bringing up what she is looking for, she lists the things that she can do for her ideal mate. In other words to list her own quality first will make an immediate impact on everyone. Nothing attracts a man more than seeing a woman willing to do something for him. It does not have to be the biased tradition of being a "wife" and old fashioned stuff; we all know those are taboo now.

What I am referring to is mentioning how good she can be in problem solving or coming up with entertainment ideas, willingness to listen to his thoughts, bringing up her talents in arts or music and mentioning her accomplishments in that area, how will she try to make a man complete, etc.

Most ads we see only mention how a woman is looking for a man to travel, walk on the beach, go to restaurants, non-cheaters, must be good listeners, but in return they mostly fail to offer as many clues about what can they do for their ideal man.

The most attractive women are the ones that are kind and positive and show culture in their search for an ideal man and refrain mentioning negative features such as "I hate lies" or "must be honest" or "don't like body odors"...those are huge turn offs for your ideal man. After all, one is trying to market her or his qualities and they must do their best in an artistic and positive way.

People are attracted to their future partner in many ways, but don't like to read descriptions as if they are applying for a job "ideal man wanted, salary negotiable, full time, with benefits, opportunity for advancement!" But they love to see an average looking woman with a heart of gold, telling the world what she can do for her ideal man and is generous enough to list her own qualities. Otherwise, who doesn't enjoy candlelight dinner and a good walk on the beach.

Good luck and best wishes....

And this song is my idea of love:






Arthimis Thanks for your Kind words Aziz!

by Khar on

Sade is truly a class act. Her voice transcends through time and space, there are not very many singers like her out there. Following is another gem of a song from Sade hope you like this one too. btw it's (Mr.), just simply Khar.

For all you lovers... 

Sade - Nothing can come between us: 



The sextual attraction is the engine

by Rendd on

and it runs on the fuel of logic, believe or not. The sexual stimulation comes from brain and one can easily modify/alter/train one's self-perception about what is called the sex appeal. What looked once beautiful and sexy to the ancient Greeks and Romans is now called obesity.

This alone differentiate us from animals, where we can select, control and change our very own nature at the very primal level.

This is where the Humanism was created based on. So if you will you can create your own ideal man and woman by changing your perception.

So, if you want you can be always attracted to the same man or woman. It's within your own hand.

ebi amirhosseini

Natalia aziz !

by ebi amirhosseini on

How nice of you to write a blog about me!!lol

great blog as always.



Ebi aka Haaji


My opinion ... + Mr./Mrs. Khar,

by Arthimis on

First of all, Love your name, you are a cool individual for such level of self deprecation naming yourself Khar...:-)

Thank you for this Sade post. It really brought back wonderful memories, I was actually in that very concert back in 1993 in San Diego, CA... Love all her albums, songs and concerts, Sade and her entire band were and still are Pure Class on all levels...

As far as this blog's subject , Well in so many initial cases, Beauty and Joy is in Diversity and I encourage that for everyone, even if I had my own kids, but...!!! :-)

In my humble view, for a long term relationships, similar and compatible cultures, mentalities and understandings perhaps would work better than the other way around.(Of course there are always surprising exceptions...)

Initial Love, Passion and Sexual attractions between two people eventually loses its original intensity and in some cases completely evaporates unfortunately...

Besides the fact that Men and Women have their original and initial problem of gender that leads to many differences and disagrements on so many levels for them, there are other elemnts and factors than can lead to more problems between man and a woman in long run.

So perhaps it is best to place emphasis on your future mate's Culture, Family, Language, Upbringing, Mentality, Beliefs, Education besides the INITIAL ANIMALISTIC and SEXUAL ATTRACTION and Chemistry too if your are searching for so called "Perfect man or Woman" ! (Which really doesn't exist to begin with...).

Uless, you are looking for short term pleasure and instant sexual gratification...  

Good luck to all of us here. Those already in relationship and those who search for a new one...

Love and Peace.

PS. Obama, please be nice to the lady/Ladies here and everywhere. This is not a way to treat people! You are giving us Iranian men a worse reputation than we are already having unforunately because of I.R. mentality... Plus, with the name Obama, you must live up to this man's great vision and mentality as well... So what you did was a double crime... :-) Take it easy son!We are are civilized people here. Thank you.




by Latina on

Abarmard and Rendd  thank you for your comments.

 Rendd thank you for the video clips too. You always have a way of picking great music. I am sure that Yolanda would agree with me.


I must rest now....Dr. orders for me this week. However, I hope that I may discuss your posted comments soon. I have found your topics very interesting.

Thank you again!

Goodnight everyone.............



by Latina on


You are hilarious. Thank you! You have no idea how much I needed a good laugh. :o)



True.... very true. Now, don't forget to add an amazing Persian cook in there.

I have read some of your blogs. I must say that I really liked the Iranian Man of a Certain Age. I believe that was the title. Now, don't forget what happens in Vegas...........Stays in Vegas....




Chemistry is extremely important for most men. If they don't feel the strong attraction than they say forget it and "Next one please!". :o)

I have actually been on two dates. No chemistry whatsoever. I might as well have been having dinner with my brother. LOL I did learn an important thing. If there is no chemistry on the phone then there will be zero chemistry in person. One was Iranian and the other one was Mexican.


Anahid Hojjati,

You speak the truth.  My sons are on the job hunt and it has been very tough for them. Good thing they have two very supportive parents to see them through the good... bad and ugly.



With all sincerity the Ideal Man  does exist though he may seem extinct at times. LOL

You see since our childhood we have being saving all this data like minicomputers. Somewhere in our minds we have all these files on whom the Ideal Individual is for us.

Everytime we meet  a possible match......well the files are activated in a way which only takes a matter of seconds or minutes to realize how they should be categorized. For example is the individual a friend, acquantaince, platonic friendship, romantic interest and so on.

We are not even aware that we are doing this. It is like a reflex to us. The Human mind is truly amazing.


maziar 58,

Thank you! Hasta la Vista!




LoL, Maziar....

by Souri on

I liked your comment to Latina and your sens of humor.

Very funny :)

maziar 58


by maziar 58 on

natalia tell you honestly  there is no need for you to pull the dusts from under the rugs so how we say.

obama in persian means he's with us I can assure you he is not one of us (persian ).

good to hear you're fine and back in this virtual world                   hasta la vista.                    Maziar


GK in Moscow, these guys, so incredibally ordinary...

by Rendd on


Un Amor

by Rendd on



by Rendd on

On the last note, I think your heart is just ready for new love and one of these days we'll read about it. But be very careful since women with history of abuse often end up with the same fate. Abarmard has a very good point. If you want your man to be very close to you then you'll open the door for him to control you and that's the beginning of abuse.

mitra northcal

Dear Rendd, what a fantastic comment you wrote

by mitra northcal on


 Dear REndd, I liked your comment very much.  Especially where you write:"As a matter of fact the most pragmatic writers and artists are the most idealistic ones since the idea itself have moved them to fill up the gap between their ideas and pragmatism with their art."