Yes, I Confess!


Yes, I Confess!
by iraj khan

Hi, I’m Trita Parsi,

God knows how hard I tried to hide my identity on this website, but this man, Dai exposed my identity here on this websites that is viewed by millions of people and translated into hundreds of languages, even the dead languages (for the benefit of dead people).

It all started when Dai contacted me and asked me to contribute money to Mariam Rajavi for her wedding night. He was asking for a large sum of money or else he would expose my identity on this website. Since I had spent all my money and NIAC budget on gambling and womanizing, I could not afford paying him.

I contacted IRI’s embassy (unfortunately I cannot reveal its location for obvious reasons) but they turned me down due to the stolen billions by the ‘Aghazadeh ha’ and the gang that took the money and ran away to Canada. I had no place to go so I went straight to my connection in CIA and asked for financial help. They asked why I needed the money and I told them the truth and they were very understanding but said they had already made their contribution to Rajavies’ wedding and had no more funds available for that purpose. They promised me they would talk to Mrs. Hillary. I waited a long time but did not hear anything from her either.

I went back to Dai and told him the story. He came back and said “then you have to ‘Hijack the Anti-War Movement’ among Iranian Americans”. I used all my power, connections and intellect and went there and ‘hijacked the anti-war movement’. But, he was not happy, he had expected me to turn them on to the benefits of war not the benefits of peace.

I don’t know why he does not like me? Is it because I am a Zardoshti? I started to grow a goatee to look more Islamic looking. I went to see him again but he said ‘you look like Vladimir Ilyich Lenin now’ and threaten to expose my identity on this great website. I went back to him again. He came back with a new demand: ‘You have to advocate for a regime change or else!’ So, I did go to work and did my best to get more votes so there would be a regime change from Republicans to Democrats in the United States. He was furious! He told me a regime change in Iran not U.S.A.!

I told him how could I change Iran’s regime? I don’t even live there! So went on and exposed my identity on this website, I’m ruined now.

Now, I ask you the good readers of this website and you the Iranian Americans to be the judge.What else could I’ve done to keep Mr. Dai satisfied? Now that my real identity is exposed , I like to ask for your forgiveness and I promise not to create another user name ever again on this wonderful website. Please forgive me as you know I’m in the middle of organizing a conference in Washington. You are all invited to come, I’ll buy you lunch even if I have to borrow the money from Aljazeera TV.// Best Regards,Trita Parsi, aka, Iraj Khan


Postscript: In reality my real name is Iraj and I am not Trita Parsi but I wrote this piece in response to another blog where it was claimed that ‘Mr Trita Parsi has been writing praises of himself using the user name of ‘Iraj Khan’ on this website’. As a result of that blog Mr Parsi’s character had come under attack by the ‘Starve and Bomb Iran’ commentators. Trita Parsi is an Iranian author who recently published the book called A Single Roll of the Dice: Obama's Diplomacy with Iran. He is also one of the founders of National Iranian American Council (NIAC): Home



more from iraj khan


by Souri on

We all know that you are not Bruce.

That was meant to be a joke! Don't worry.

Read Bruce's comment about Trita :)


iraj khan


by iraj khan on

It only took me 1 day to confess, it shows how weak a character I have, sorry but I'm no hero just an Iranian Zardoshti,

Jenabe Zaferoon, I'm not Bahmani.

iraj khan

Soosan Khanoom,

by iraj khan on

I'm glad you've joined our joint for the last few years. Your input is priceless here.

You like Souri call it as you see it, thanks for the comment.

iraj khan


by iraj khan on

I always knew you are the 'real' Trita but I didn't want anybody else to know!

iraj khan

Souri Khanoom,

by iraj khan on

I like your style:

telling it like it is, but I am not Mr Bruce, really. If you don't believe me ask him!

Thanks for the comments.

iraj khan

Jenabe Mehrdad,

by iraj khan on

I agree as you put it:

'Hambastegi' is the main key to victory 


Ghash kardam as khandeh....

by Souri on

(hala jan e man rast begoo, to va Trita Bruce Bahmani nistin?)

That one was too funny!

PS_ Is that Bee-Suck or be-sex (mean have no sex) people?

Sorry my Englis is so bad, I didn't get it :)



Let's wait!

by Zaferoon on

Maybe the B-SUCs* would send one of their more competent members to interrogate you, so you can make better, more explosive confessions, too, telling ALL. Maybe the role of the "investigator" is better performed by one of their humorless formally-trained members, notwithstanding the fact that Faramarz was so much more fun when he was the hooter on bellydancer posts. (hala jan e man rast begoo, to va Trita Bruce Bahmani nistin?)


*Bikar Sixtyish Unaccountable Commentators (pronounced Bee-Sucks) 




by MM on

Hey Trita,

One of the characters of MPD is also Trita Parsi.  


Soosan Khanoom

Iraj khan

by Soosan Khanoom on

Daee is an inquisitionist .. He tortures people and tell them if you confess you will not be tortured anymore.  But once the false confession is made then he uses it against the confessor.  So in the dumb world of Daee and his new released camp Ashrafee retard supporters on this site you are toasted either way..

But to be accused as someone who is well educated, well spoken and who is actually doing something good for the Iranian- Americans is by itself quite an honor.  Something that you should wear proudly!!

And.. Thanks for the laugh  ...U R funnier than Faramarz...

An A +  !!



Funny confession

by Souri on

I had always a guess about your "other" user Id and I hope I am right. This fiction made me believing that I might be right. You have a great skill for writing fiction (as we have seen before).



Congrats to Dia and his followers….

by Bavafa on

To add so effectively to the reputation of IC and make it a publication that its reputation only completes to National Inquiry magazine AND FAUX news.

'Hambastegi' is the main key to victory