eroonman

Recently Twitter has been rather obviously been pimping and shopping itself around the media. The tried and true technique used by all social networking sites these days, to raise it's asking price. Appearing on Oprah, starting an Ashton Kutcher war on CNN, and prominent mention on other shows for the cachet buildup to prove it's "Value", in order to secure another likely obscene amount of money for yet one more free web application that people can't seem to resist using.

So what is Twitter?

Twitter is simply the website where you can post up to 140 characters describing whatever you want to describe. This is called a Tweet. Yes, a Tweet! Just like that largely insignificant sound that a bird makes. No, really! 120 characters means you can also quickly Tweet from your cellphone.

You can Tweet that you just finished reading the full Divan-e-Hafez (Divaneh?). Or you can Tweet that you just saw Googoosh eating a quiche at Ivy. But you can also Tweet that you just finished a really memorable bowel movement, if you wanted to. The cooler thing though, is that other Twitterers can subscribe to your Tweets! No, really! You too can, despite your experience in high school, actually be popular! That is, if you gain a following. And that is not as big an "IF" as you might expect. Especially if you don't have high expectations.

You can also follow someone else's Tweet if you want. Especially someone famous! The cruel secret joke though, is that most celebrities actually hire someone to Tweet for them. Additionally some really desperate folks pose as celebrities. Until the real celebrity finds out and complains. Hey, it's better than dressing like Michael Jackson!

What?

All sorts of people are Tweeting. Celebrities, Politicians, Stockbrokers, Gurus, and yes, if you are starting to see the trend, people who generally crave attention. Because there's nothing apparently more gratifying and titillating than the feeling (false or real) that you get when you imagine (false or real) that every utterance from your fingertips might be read, absorbed, and bought into, and enjoyed by hundreds, if not thousands, if not millions of subscribing fellow Twitterers. Who cares if you don't actually know any of your "friends"? They obviously love you enough to follow your every Tweet! That's real love. Isn't it?

Apparently this feeling doesn't seem to be as indulgent, as it might sound, as it seems to be soothing to the many Twitterers "flocking" online. The need for validation, and scarily worse, a desperate yearning for significance, in a fast paced cell-phone dominated world, is an irresistibly powerful drug.

True dat.

But if you don't actually feel the need for any of these largely ego-feeding "benefits" that Twitter offers, or if you are merely content and possibly confident in the number and quality of friends that you actually (not virtually) have, or better, need, then Twitter more or less evokes the minor question, "Why"? To which the answer is mainly "Cuz." To which you reply "Huh?" And then you go on about your day.

But mind you, Twitter will still likely sell for no less than $1B. Possibly to a Chinese government employee with a penchant for Web-Americana and a side business making all those plastic storage bins for WalMart. The global economy be damned.