bajenaghe naghi

javaneh jan

merci for your lovely reply.

ahah bajenagha jaan

Yes what you say is true and is one of the points I obviously failed to make clear! forgive me, I have alot going on!!

No one was there for the young woman I wrote about.... she was 15 yrs old and alone, because of her age she didnt get a prison sentence but she got no support either until she became mentally unwell, which is where I came onto the scene.  Sometimes people have to reach rock bottom unfortunately, before they can make a change in their lives and I guess Ana might be someone like that.

The systems we live in frequently fail us, be family, societal, legal ...... its such a shame. On the positive side though, there are also many caring, sympathic and empathitic people in the world too and you and Maryam are surely two of those.

Ana and vulnerable people like her are easy targets for the less well intentioned. I hope she makes it through to somewhere new.

Javaneh

i have a crush on alex trebeck jan and javaneh jan

i liked your comments and i agree with both of them but i like to add something here to reply javaneh. we as human beings make decisions every minute of the day. most of these are small and insignificant decisions and if a wrong one is made it will not effect our lives or anyone elses life. but sometimes when a bad life changing decision is made by a child or someone leads a child or a person who does not have a sound mind to make a wrong decision then someone needs to step in eithert to stop them making such bad decisions or try to remedy them. in your story the young woman who killed her baby got a lot of help and protection from you and the system and was able to join the society and enjoy her children. if you and the system were not there she might have killed her other children too and and gone to jail. there for such laws and their inforcements are very important. and if the authorities know who these women are and where they live and work they will be in  a much better position to help them as individuals and the society as a whole.

American Wife I agree BUT

They are still human beings and even criminals should be protected by the law. Prostitutes are usually desperate and that doens't mean because they do something dumb, they should be sacrificed by society for it. 

Elliot Spitzer did what he did and got away with it. Nevermind the governor thing he had to give up. He didn't have to go to court or testify. The prostitute got off free too I think. That made it look glamorous, but I think there are people who do suffer and I think the law should protect him in better ways, at least to go after the Johns.

Sadly, it's around and it always has been. Better to work it out than ignore them. Prostitutes.....*sigh* 

Going from A to B

In my work I have come across many prostitutes, male and female and some like Ana were raped or sexually assaulted by a family member as a child. Some have chosen their 'career' as an adult and yes, this is different in as much as it was a choice. However, was it an informed choice?

One thing that stikes me is that all of the people I have worked with have a very low self esteem. They understand thenselves to be victims in their world... this may not be a conscious understanding, but never the less they commonly feel victimised, marginalised and without opportunity. They often separate themselves from the responsibility of the profession they are in,

I recall one young woman 19 yrs old, who had been a prostitute since 13 yrs. She had never been sexually abused but had been brought up without affection and found solace in what she somehow got drawn into. She had a child at 15yrs and two months later suffercated the baby because completely alone, she couldnt cope. She later went on to have two more kids, both were taken out of her care. She starved herself almost to death which is when I first met her and then worked with this extraordinary young woman for a few years. To cut a long story short, she eventually moved on with her life, went to college gained qualifications, began to see her kids, found a regular job and gained a little self respect.  

The point I am trying to illustrate here is that despite horrific backgrounds, there is always a choice. Getting people to see that they have the ability to make a different choice and live it, is the hard bit, The bottom line is that we all have to know where we are in the scheme of  our life to get from A to B.

Ana has choices and she like all of those in the sex industry, probably has a low self esteem, not suprisingly. Until she makes a decision to change what she has chosen for herself as an adult, she will always see herself as a victim.   

Pleased to read that you and Maryam are on talking terms at least. Javaneh

mehbod jan

i agree with maryam hojjat phd too if the woman chooses this as calculated adult. for example a college student who needs to earn more money and instead of working in a restaurant or the college book store goes and sells herself. that is a choice made by a adult. i think that is wrong.

but a majority of the prostitutes you see started by running away from a abusing home where they beaten and raped by family members. they run away when they are thirteen or fourteen years old. once they are away in a strange town they are picked up by handlers who feed them and give them all the love they can get and gradually lead them into their new career. here no choice was involved and they were forced into it.

my maryam is talking to me on the phone but says she is not ready to see me. she has not been to the store yet. yesterday was the first time she laughed at something i said to her. that made me so happy. 

american wife jan

i am glad we are on the same page. it is so much  better than being on two different pages. 

BN jaan

I agree with Maryam Hojat PHD.
BTW, did Maryam ever come back? I hope everything is fine between you two.

I totally agree that we should take care of our children

but I feel somewhat differently about "taking care" of women who DO have a choice and they elect this lifestyle.  There is no doubt that many girls are forced into it, but the majority?  No.  There ARE other options.  Most of these girls do have families and for whatever reason, they've chosen to leave and of course find themselves unable to care for themselves.  And we ARE speaking of a democracy.  If values count for anything, the majority of people don't believe there is an obligation to support something that is against the law.  I believe that society DOES offer an option as well.  But an option is something that is offered and accepted.  These women must be willing to accept that option and do something to help themselves.  I believe we're on the same page in general and I do feel sympathy.  It's a fine line.

thank you

ebi jan, maryam hojjat phd jan and princess jan. it is very sad that some girls and i say girls because most are taken when they are young and volnrable and are forced into this profession. and they are forced to stay and make money for the pimp.

american wife jan if we were in a dictatorship i would agree with what you wrote. people have no say in that system. but we are not in a dictatorship but in a representative democracy. we can elect representatives that carry our voices and wishes to the chamber where they vote on laws they make. we need to take care of our children and these girls are children or just a little older when they are put into service of their pimps. they should be protected and laws need to be written to do so. 

Bajenaghe AZIZ !!!

24/7 abuse ! such a shame.

I feel sorry for Ana

for choosing such a profession in such country like US which offers so many opportunities.   

well, I was groovin' along

agreeing with you... until the last sentence...:-)

Regardless of whether you agree or disagree, it is against the law.  There is no abuse whatsoever.  It being a bad law is a matter of opinion.  Same thing goes for being archaic. 

Now.... my personal opinion is what the heck.  I agree that it would be MORE in the best interests of everyone to accept it and if not legalize it... or condone it... at least make it safer for the women.  I also think pot should be legalized.  But my saying so don't make a hill of beans...lol.

I believe there are ALWAYS options.  There are shelters... family.... friends.  Prostitution isn't pretty under any circumstances.  I'd recycle aluminum cans for a living before I would do it.  So I'm not too sure I have any sympathy for women who do.  But I'm also the first one to admit that I've never been in such extreme situations either.

BN jaan:

Your story confirms my long-held opinion that for a section (and not a very small one either) of the population, US is as bad as some third-world counties. Thanks for sharing Ana's story. :)