PAAIA beats NIAC to the punch


PAAIA beats NIAC to the punch
by bahmani

PAAIA beat NIAC to the punch yesterday and rush announced it's strongest condemnation of the Saudi Ambassador assassination plot by Iran that was foiled by the US this week.

PAAIA, is not to be confused with PAELLA which is a wonderful Spanish Rice dish, or PARSA which is the Iranian free-money-foundation that gave $7.5 million to Iranian groups since 2006, and then promptly folded yesterday, probably as a result of traditional infighting among the fundernaires.

PAAIA is the Public Affairs Alliance of Iranian-Americans. If this sounds a lot like what NIAC or The National Iranian-American Council does, it's not a coincidence, once you remember that both are Iranian franchis... I mean groups that no one wants, or has ever asked for explicitly, and as Iranian groups go, even though they might want to do the same thing, they will never admit it, and god forbid they should ever combine and work as one. Hence the separate but similar shape and form. And smell.

So, uh... yeah.

Anyhow, yesterday PAAIA released their press release on the Saudi assassination plot before NIAC could come up with something they think is pithier. My guess is Trita Parsi was on a flight from somewhere and because they probably aren't allowed to, no one at NIAC knew what the hell to do until he landed, and by then PAAIA had their press release already done and out. SHIT!!!

Also it appears Trita prefers the Huffington format over any other media. After all that's how Reza Aslan keeps getting invited to do the Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

So here's what Ali Mojdehi (I know, I don't know who he is either) the Chairman of PAAIA said:

"We condemn these senseless and intolerable alleged terror plots in the United States," explained Ali Mojdehi, Chairman of PAAIA. "The plot is a shameful attack on our values. The Iranian American community applauds our law enforcement agencies for their vigilance in disrupting the plot and appeals to all citizens and the media not to come to any generalized conclusions about the Iranian American community or the Iranian people from the suspected acts.”

I know and yes, he actually said "plots". Apparently Mojdehi who is now officially a public figure and therefore outside any libel or slander laws, implied that there are more plots, or something, because as far as I know this has been the only one so far, so to condemn these "terror plots" is the wrong English tense and term, not uncommon for Iranian-American groups who tend to insist on picking leaders who do not actually know how to speak proper English. Or Farsi.

And yes, I have interviewed for the job. Yes, I am bitter. Fuck Yes I am bitter!

What did not surprise me though was the standard usual, complete, utter, and total absence of ANY attempt to live up to the IRANIAN in the Iranian-American character we are pretending to play in this play, baffling the US once again with our airs of delusion. And cowardice. Here we are in a country founded by people who stood up to oppression and power, yet we cannot muster the same fortitude, hoping no one notices our shortcomings and will still let us into the country club, if we wave wads of cash.

NOT ONCE in the statement did Mojdehi or the mush-for-brains at PAELLA.. I mean PAAIA, consider to send a message to the government of Iran on this possibly greatest national embarrassment since the hostage crisis. Not even a one page fax with just 4 words on it, "WTF ARE YOU THINKING!!!!!"

Maybe I am the one who is deluded.

Because I tend to think that if my dog comes over to my neighbor Bob's house and bites Bob's other guest, while I am there, visiting with Bob, I kind of shouldn't say, "Jeez Bob! That's awful! I condemn this alleged bite in the strongest possible way. I hope you won't let your dog bite me!"

What I think I kind of should do, is go home and:

a) Beat the living shit out of my dog, even if it was the first time.
b) Put it down, if it has been an ongoing problem, and get a goldfish.

Guess which category the government of Iran falls under. Maybe not full Pitbull. Maybe a Pitbull-mix. With rabies. And fleas.

For the finely brainwashed folks at PAAIA to not understand that condemnation of Iran by PAAIA to the nearest Iranian officials is of the utmost critical importance, is beyond shameful. And there certainly are Iranian officials in the Pakistan embassy, which is very near the PAAIA and NIAC offices.

Hence I am ashamed. We should all be. What a joke!

Today, NIAC finally released their response, and as expected, it had a sexy but as usual and now trademark, irrelevant title. "The Come to Jesus moment in US-Iran relations". Once again bad use of English goes unpunished. (Well, maybe not completely!)

A "Come to Jesus moment" is when you either accept Jesus a your Christ and Savior, a born again step, or, it is an agreement following a disagreement. While it sounds cooler than PAAIA's matter of fact title, it still has nothing to do with the actual story.

Iran certainly has not accepted JC, and there is no agreement between the US and Iran, and the ongoing disagreement goes on. Iran has denied the plot, so a better title would be something like, "US and Iran both allege the other was behind Saudi assassination Plot".

Every second sentence in NIAC's overnight prepared piece includes numerous variations of the word "alleged" in it. As if NIAC isn't already accused enough, of being in cahoots with the Iranian government. By NIAC's assertion/sales pitch that US sanctions would not hurt the rich and privileged in Iran, and would instead affect "ordinary Iranians" and their ability to revolt. Speaking of revolting Iranians, this ridiculous claim, added to NIAC's already perplexing opposition to the MEK, the Iranian government's most staunch opposition outside Iran.

NIAC does not seem to get that everyone is saying that a "US-based organization Opposing Iran's Opposition, is Iran's Friend."

What PAAIA and NIAC have shown completely and entirely in both of the for-their-own-press releases, is a cowardly nature of avoiding the elephant in the room, namely Iran. Not one have the guts or fortitude or intelligence apparently, to get that condemning the act to America, and begging Americans not to take it out on us, and never once saying anything to Iran, is tantamount to a confession of guilt. Or so that's what Americans certainly have to be thinking about us now.

I mean, if we are too afraid to stand up to our own, how reliable could we possibly be as hyphenated Americans?

We cannot have it both ways. We cannot plug our ears, and cover our eyes, sing "La La La-ee" and continue to shield ourselves from the repeated dastardly deeds our less-enlightened, and religiously blinded countrymen do in OUR name internationally. Yes, OUR name. You set this in motion by hyphenating Iranian-Americans. You don't actually give up your responsibility with a hyphen.

Calling ourselves Iranian-Americans, does not make us full Americans and automatically excuse us from Iran.

PAAIA went on in their statement pathetically and subtly begging for mercy from Joe-Sixpack, with the usual parade of contributions of successful Iranian-Americans to America. ALL of whom we all know, would pack up and never set foot in the US again, were Iran ever a free country for even 5 minutes.

All of this continual misbehavior unchallenged, is precisely why the Iranian government is smiling, no- grinning today. Precisely because groups like PAAIA and NIAC don;t care. And let us now toss Reza Pahlavi in for not caring. As of 2pm California time his site is still congratulating the oppressed youth for the upcoming school year! (lest you think I am a monarchist).

None of these self appointed Napoleon's, ever in the slightest think to make one single call, fax one fax, mail one letter, email one email, text one text, tweet one tweet, Unlike one Like directly into the rotted out and diseased brain of the powers that be, INSIDE IRAN, and would instead swoon at the sight and on the steps of Capitol Hill, like a teenage girl at a Justin Bieber concert. "No, He looked at me!"

To wake up every morning and go to an Iranian Organization in the US and NOT think to object even once, directly to the more than objectionable, is the greater shame. I'm fucking tired of it.

Whether it worked or was foiled, Iran has successfully sent a clear message and thrown down the gauntlet for the Saudis, the big dog on the Persian Gulf block.

The US reaction is actually irrelevant, Iran knows full well that the US does not have the stomach or enough Humvees, cruise missiles, or drones, for yet another pointless if remote control fight in the desert. Iran knows that the Saudis are an unorganized and lazy sort, and feels it can take them on if it comes to an all out fight. Because Iran intends to fight dirty. Something the US has not trained the Saudi army for since they took over for Lawrence of Arabia 100 years ago.

At least now those recent Iranian naval exercises in the Gulf and apparently a few "alleged" excursions to the US coastline seem to make more sense now.

If Iran indeed intends to goad the Saudis into a dirty street fight, they've taken the first step with this plot. Even if it was foiled. What remains to be seen is how the Saudis, not the US react to this. With the anger and counter action that the US and West of the world wants it to do, to teach Iran a good long-in-coming lesson in manners, or in the usual way the Saudis react. The usual way is to ignore Iran, and smile that big fat happy Arab smile and float away unconcerned.

I would recommend the latter. The former is too far out of character for the Saudis, and Iran has clearly been preparing for it. The best you can do when you can't win, is to avoid the fight altogether. Especially when you are richer than the other guy. The best offense is to drive a Ferrari.

Which reminds me of the joke,

"Do you know why Saudis always seem to be smiling?"
"No, Why?"
"Because they're not wearing any underwear!"


more from bahmani

to VPK: Not sure you understand

by bahmani on

So YOU think NIAC and PAAIA are lobbies? It's not what they say though.

Interesting choice of your words. I agree they certainly act like lobbies, and that means they represent an interest group, say Iranians with interests in eliminating US sanctions on Iran, or against the MEK getting off the T-list.

And that is fine. If that is the interest group they lobby for. If you say they are lobbies, I'm all for that. But that's not what they say.

So are they lying? Or just not telling the truth?

Instead, NIAC and PAAIA claim to be grassroots community based organizations. But they are neither in any communities outside of the DC loop, but they apparently smoke a lot of Grass coming up with the completely wrong point of attack that a majority of free-Iranians don't support.

Again, the culprit in the US-Iran debate is clearly, and undeniably Iran. Most Free-Iranains agree with that. Poll them yourself if you deny this.

You might choose to ignore this, or pretend it isn't the case, but look around add it up, and I'm sorry to burst your bubble and make you sad, but it is Iran who is killing Iranians at the rate of 1 every 8 hours.

It is Iran that is most certainly not a free country and a total religious dictatorship with the arrogance and hypocrisy you get when you think you are the only one God hears and talks to.

It is Iran that has destroyed Iran's energy industry, agricultural potential, and possibly worse, international image and aberoo. Aberoo is important. especially when you need spare industrial parts.

I suggest loudly and as forcefully as I can, that what I think WE and NIAC and PAAIA should be focused on now is fixing and complaining to Iran whenever they screw up, and do bad things, instead of trying to get useless personal prestige from US politicians.

Having good rapport with a US politician won't ever stop Iran from killing protesters in the streets.

Objecting to the film "The 300" won't make a dent in the continued oppression and 3rd class status of Iranian women under the forced dehumanizing and apartheidic effect of the Hejab laws.

Being on the A-list for a congressional cocktail-party, won't stop Iranian bankers from stealing the country blind.

It seems more logical to go after the root cause of a problem. It's faster. Dancing around it, is childish and ultimately exudes larger cowardice. We should be lobbying the Iranian government directly from the US. Especially from the Safety the US provides us. It juts makes more sense. To live in the US, and NOT complain to Iran as loud as you can is pretty much a crime after 30 years.

This opinion does not make me dictator. If I were to go to Washington and take this on and claim you as my supporter without your knowledge, that would be dictatorship and fraudulent.

Rethink your comment.

Because it sounds like you too have your head in the sand and think the best way to fix Iran is NEVER utter a single word in Iran's direction and look to the US to somehow solve it without firing a shot or implementing a single sanction, or unleashing a single opposition former terrorist group.

Precisely because that's all the US knows how to do, this is especially a dangerous gamble.

If that is your position though, and you think it will work, explain to me how not doing anything will achieve something?

Or do you want to make personal fan club points with fickle and faint and disloyal US politicians too, and then sit around for another 30 years and hope Iran fixes itself, and then waltz in and take credit for it?

I think to fix Iran, we're going to have to work harder and smarter than NIAC and PAAIA have to date, and we are going to have to start to complain loud as a group, to Iran with good arguments (the kind NIAC so eloquently poses to the US against sanctions and the MEK) in order to provide equal and opposite counter arguments to their ridiculous assertions and embarrassing statements. Every time they are made.

So, when Ahmadinejad pretty much says at the UN there was no holocaust, or that the US was behind 911, do you think maybe one of us should object to that, and counter it? Do you think NIAC or PAAIA should say something in response? The same day, outside the UN building to world's reporters covering Ahmadinejad's rantings?

Do you think that would look better as an act of preserving our national pride and reputation in objection, to one who would trample it without blinking? Is this what sincere principled people and representatives of historically valued "Persia" do?

Or do you think remaining silent in the face of embarrassment, and running off to secret meetings with US politicians du-jour, is the better more effective option?

Before you answer that yes Bruce, it is better to remain silent, since you're an admitted follower via your support of NIAC and PAAIA, and sound as if you agree with lobbying the US politicians instead of directly confronting Iran, I would remind you that the World is looking to free-Iranians and Iranians inside Iran, to collectively stand up for ourselves against our own brothers busy oppressing and embarrassing us at will.

The free-World has been surprised and more, disappointed by our cowardice and great character failure to stand up on our own, against evil and tyranny committed by our own for 30 years.

Every single free country in the world's history, has stood up to it's tyrants to become free. As uncomfortable, rude, socially awkward, and generally icky as this feels to us as Iranians, I simply don't see any way out, other than standing up to Iran.

I know you are Iranian and like one, always thinks you have this new never before tried way of doing something everyone else has done one way, but please, please, please, do not bring NIAC and PAAIA to me and wag their off-the-mark and weird strategy and try and sell it, when we haven't tried the obvious more proven method of standing up together, and talking to and objecting to Iran (when they are as wrong as they are) consistently and unabated, from the safety of freedoms we are guaranteed here int eh US and rest of the free-world.

Because that is actually the smarter and more proven approach to this problem.

And I am a member of both clubs. That's how I know they are clubs.

To read more bahmani posts visit: //

Veiled Prophet of Khorasan

Mr Bahmani

by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on


I don't live in Washington DC. But that does not matter because all the lobbies do. If you want to run a lobby you don't run it from Montana or even LA. Of course there groups are not "our" representatives. There are too many of us. Nor are you or any of the IC posters. Specially those IC posters who write articles (not you) about how "us" Iranians are.  But they do represent their members and probably more people who share their view and are not members. They have a right and are completely legal. 

You first condemn dictatorship; then go on an command the rest of us what to do? I think you are doing just what you oppose. Anyway dictatorship requires power over others. These lobby groups have no power over others. It is not up to you or I to tell NIAC or PAAIA what to do. Are you their member; contributor or involved with them. These are private organizations allowed to run their affairs as they see fit.

Of course you may write whatever you want as do I. But they are going to do what they want. I repeat: there is a group at IC who wants to "de-fang" Iranians. They want Iranian to have no self confidence; no self respect and not be active. To follow the Fox party line all the way. The news is that it will fail. The only thing they will get is to drive people away from their blogs and if it keeps up from IC. Just look at the comments you got on your blogs. Just one opposing point of view: mine. Self selection is now at work.


To VPK: Dictatorship is always a bad thing

by bahmani on

These aren't groups they are clubs with barely 2000 members. Mostly in DC. Do you live in DC? I don't.

Yet they pose as if they are legally authorized representatives of you, and me. They alss represent themselves to US politicians as representative, which is technically fraud.

Some US politicians have found this out and won't talk to them anymore. Some think they can get campaign donations and entertain them until they realize that ain't gonna happen and leave them also.

They aren't our representative, you don't get to do that just because you want to. I want to be queen of England, but I can't. I did not elect them and I don't want them talking to the US government on my behalf. Especially if they do not even have the balls to talk to the Iranian government on my behalf.

My (our) problem as Iranians in the world is not with the US government and whether or not they should impose sanctions on Iran because Iran is mean to the US.

My (our) problem is that Iran is a shitty country right now and it is mean to it's citizens and is an ogerous oppressive beast.

If ANYTHING, we need organizations to convince Iran to stop it. Not poke their noses into the US machine and try and "lobby" for things we don't actually need.

Focus on Iran and changing that horror. Leave the US alone and out of it. This is our biggest and most obvious problem. And neither PAAIA not NIAC has the brains to get this.

Sorry if you are fan of a club, but I'm not and as long as they continue to refuse to do the right thing, or continue to do the wrong things, I'll object.

This is a right I have as an American, a right I currently do not have as an Iranian, and as far as I can tell NIAC or PAAIA have no plans to lobby Iran for that, so again, there's nothing wrong with the US, we need to focus on fixing Iran.

This simple focus issue is really ALL I have against them. I know a lot of them and they are really nice and caring folks. Just wrong in their sense of priority.

To read more bahmani posts visit: //

G. Rahmanian


by G. Rahmanian on

"Groupthink!" or dogmatically/blindly following a set of rigid principles or rules IS dangerous when such principles or rules prove detrimental to causes involving a whole nation. Mr. Bahmani has described this dogmatic devotion to the leader brilliantly where he writes about NIAC's lifetime boss being on the plane and the rest of the gang couldn't make a decision about what to do. It reminds one of North Korea's "Great Leader!" And NK's Great Leader has been described by some of his staunchest enemies as an intelligent and reasonable individual. The most unfortunate thing for members of many organizations is that they don't see their own group as cult-like while accusing others as being so!

Shazde Asdola Mirza

As a staunch NIAC supporter, I'm appalled by PAAIA ...

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

How dares PAAIA upstage NIAC as the greatest IRI brown noser?

Veiled Prophet of Khorasan

What is the

by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on


point you guys are making? Yes humor is good but it has a place. Ridiculing all Iranian American organization is getting boring. Fine people hate NIAC and Parsi. What is the prohlem with PAAIA? 

I get a feeling there are some people who don't like Iranian Americans to organize. Always looking for a fault in any of them. Go ahead and make fun of them. Meanwhile PAAIA is doing its thing. PARSA is doing its thing and NIAC its.

What people on IC doing? Ridiculing others and making slogans. Humor is great but try it in a company meeting. One of my colleagues had that habit. He pushed it too far and got whacked by the VP big time.

G. Rahmanian

Whatever you do, dear Bruce

by G. Rahmanian on

Whatever you do, dear Bruce, don't kill the dog. Especially, when it drops a gold coin a day! Enjoyed the humor.

Bahram G

Groupthink is poison

by Bahram G on

It is terrific to be united in sharing the same values such ad those enshrined in the Bill of Rights or the Zoroastrian triad of three neeks.This unity of values becomes deadly when it demands groupthink, where no one is to breathe a word contrary to the prevailing thoughts and beliefs in order to maintain hamony and unity of the group. In other words, no one should rock the boat, so to speak. A boat that doesn't rock does not go anywhere and will eventually sink under it's own weight.It is of paramount importance that we unite together under a common set of values, yet we give one another plenty of wing space, so to speak.Bahram g


Good One Bahmani

by Faramarz on

Good stuff Bahrami, I mean Bahmani!

A sense of humor is a good thing and women are always attracted to men with a good sense of humor. Money helps too!

"A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs; jolted by every pebble in the road."

Veiled Prophet of Khorasan

Now that we are done beating up NIAC

by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on


It is time to beat up PAAIA, God forbid there is an Iranian American organization with a bit of success. Someone on IC has to *** on them. Great job guys. Some "Hambasdegi" as Mehrdad says.

Then clothe it as "satire" so that it does not sound so bad. Any organization trying to organize Iranian diaspora must be attacked. Remember no PAAIA: no NIAC means just MEK. Is that what we want; not me. 

At least these two PAAIA and NIAC do something. PAAIA is more to the right. But to the IC group there is nothing Iranian that is to be spared. Keep punching there more you punch the more I know they are on the right path.


Hope I pass the BG test

by bahmani on

Enjoy your quest for my mediocrity... I'm crossing all of my appendages, but definitely let me have it if you find something untoward. That's how I learn...

To read more bahmani posts visit: //

Bahram G


by Bahram G on

This was the first time I read anything by you. And right after I made my comment I did look you up and noticed how prolific you have been. A long list of different topics thoroughly substantiated my off the cuff assessment of your talent. Speaks well of my superb skills of depicting a person's detailed personogragh from just one blog :)), don't you think?Perhaps I should go into the business of fortune telling in these unfortunate times and fleece the unfortunates of the few bucks they can I'll-afford to spare :)). All they have to do is to write something, anything, 200-300 words in length and on that basis I come up with a good as gold analysis of who they are and what they are suite for. What do you think?Didn't have a chance to read any more of your blogs, but I will. I will keep on reading until I get turned off by something you wrote that rubs me the wrong way very hard.So far so good and it is a pleasure to read someone as talented as you are on IC, somewhat of a rarity.Bahram g


Thanks but no...

by bahmani on

Apparently my "talent" only has one customer. This site.

I could certainly do this fulltime, but my Iranian heart (which beats 6/8) and my con-genital bullshit allergy can't take it too long before I roll up into a ball and bawl.

To read more bahmani posts visit: //

Bahram G


by Bahram G on

Irrespective of the very serious points you are making, you are a consummate satirist. Is this what you do for a living? Doing a great socio-political "histology?"Given the stark job conditions in the US, and if you are jobless at this time, my pro bono advice to you is that you have the talent for a syndicate columnist. Let me add that you also have a good brain for the work. That is, you can easily go beyond parochialism and handle just about any contemporary issue that interests you.I truly enjoyed your writing and will attempt to read your past blogs as well as the ones you may write in future.Many thanks,Bahram g