No News From Brussels?


by bahmani

I heard that the opposition groups had a meeting in Brussels. As any Freedom aspiring Iranian of course, I was curious and interested to read the proceedings and learn what the 33 year old struggle for Iranian freedom has to say about the state of affairs, the future plans and direction, and generally listen to the optimistic likelihood of change coming to Iran.

You know, like normal opposition groups always say about their struggle. Some shit like, "Victory is just around the corner, here's a pie chart that shows the progress we are making..."

No such luck.

Mind you Brussels is after the Olaf Palme secret meeting in Stockholm, which apparently was a workshop on how to behave or debate or work together or some other secret we common observers and folk, aren't apparently privileged enough to know about.

Or we are sheep. To be led, not involved.

I now have to apologize for losing control of my tongue. Sheep? Led? Friends (and critics) have told me many times over the years, that I need to watch my mouth and stop being cynical. And rude.

So, sorry for the Sheep and Led comment.

But it has now been 33 years, and still, even in Brussels, even after Olaf, no news is yet only more bad news. So I now say, fuck that shit. And then I say Sorry. Again.

The ONLY information I could find was on a half-assed website with a fantastic name:


Unfortunately the ONLY usable report I could read was yet another diatribe in Farsi, tinged with bias and opinion, which was supposed to be a report on one of the panels (nothing on the other panels, did they have any?) whose working title was:

«بررسی راهکار‌ها وگام‌های عملی ـ ایجاد زمینه‌های اجرای انتخابات آزاد»

Or, "Analysis of workable procedures and steps for the creation of the conditions for conducting free elections"

Which sounds retarded from the start right? I mean everyone knows that an election is conducted and prescribed off of a Constitution. I mean everyone knows this right? Wait! Do you? OK now I'm really confused!

OK let's take a step back here. OK, you first write a Constitution- Wait! Does everyone know what a Constitution is? Fuck me! OK, let's take one more step back.

OK, A Constitution, is a rule book that describes how to run a country. This can include all sorts of rules like the colors of the flag, the national anthem, and surprise! how to conduct an election.

So, since Iran's election is now scientifically proven to be "fucked", and since it gets that way from the Constitution, you have to fix the Constitution to fix what's wrong with the election. Because as we have now learned, that is where the election rules are written.

So you can now appreciate my "Consternation" at reading that the esteemed panel in Brussels bypassed the Constitution, and thought that you could work on the election part. And that this is not only reasonable, but feasible, and worthwhile too!

It isn't.

Because the Supreme Leader job is also in the Constitution. And it does not matter WHAT you do to the election, as long as he is above it.

So the real task is to fix Iran's Constitution. Which it turns out is far more easier to do than debating the nuances of the ideal election.

You see when you find a problem that is so messed up and broken and wrong, sometimes it is better to toss it out and start over. This is what I think we can all agree needs to be done with the Iranian Constitution. Because Iran is not actually a "Moslem State". I mean not really. We lie cheat, steal, smoke, drink, party, and bugger with the best of them. In certain areas we still lead the world in debauchery.

But before you start over and write a new Constitution though, because we are also lazy too, it is probably smarter to look around and see if you can simply replace the bad Constitution, with a good one that someone else wrote. One that is proven, works, and is free to take and use.

But where to find such a treasure? Well, as it turns out there are many. And they are all free to use. None of them have the © symbol on them. And you know how we all love the absence of the ©! The one used by the US, French, British, Swedish, and yes even the one used by the fucking Belgians will do nicely for us. Each guarantees human and individual (and corporate) rights, separates tribalism and paganism and religion from the state, and all of them have the SURPRISE! Free and fair election rules already in them! Better these all have the usual standard amendment rules too! So you can change things if you want!

Bet you didn't know that we don't have those in our current one! Yes, they were removed when Khamenei "made some minor edits" in 1989.

Step forward to the Brussels Meeting again.

The other problem with the "Panel" assembled to address the now hopefully proven asinine issue of "Free Election", were as follows:

- Noushabeh (yes someone actually named her "Softdrink") Afarin (so imagine if your name translates as "Excellent Softdrink!") - Journalist
- Alireza Nourizadeh - Journalist
- Hassan Shariatmadari - Political Expert & Activist
- Mojtaba Vahedi - Journalist

Other than Shariatmadari who might be considered for a mild opinion, NONE of these panel experts have any business defining new rules for elections. Never mind a Constitution, which I seriously hope you now get is the root issue.

What any of these "reporters" is doing on the panel instead of in front of it furiously taking copious notes to publish, while a proper panel of Constitutional experts explain the problems with the current Constitution and suggest the obvious changes that need to be made to it, or their recommendation on which one we ought to GHOP is really beyond my ability to comprehend.

I must be as stupid as I have been repeatedly called by many of you.

Because I don't get it.

What I DO get is that Iran's Constitution as I have now read it 5 times in a row for this piece alone, simply does not work for me.

- I can't accept a Supreme Leader with holy super powers.
- I can't accept Iran is necessarily a Moslem State. (what is a Moslem?)
- I can't accept that the laws of Iran cannot supercede the Qoran (or any holy book).
- I can't accept that the 1979 referendum as a basis of legitimacy.
- I really need to have the amendment procedures put back, please.

To simplify it for you:

There are only 2 things wrong with Iran that if fixed would solve all other problems. They say when you intend to object or oppose something, it is important to have a simple and clear message. And also to not provoke the cops. The Green Movement and 18 Tir painfully proved the importance of both of these, with its ultimate non-results.

For Iranians the simple easy to understand 2 POINTS of OBJECTION AND OPPOSITION is this:

1) Get rid of the Supreme Leader
2) Get Rid of the Constitution

It's as easy at that, and as impossibly hard as that.


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