I hate All Iranians too...

by bahmani

OK, Actually I lied, but this is after all only a blog. As we know, blogs are mostly lies. Just stream of consciousness ones. But there are a group of Iranians I actually do find myself hating.

I hate those Iranians who show up late to a concert, and have better seats than mine.

I hate those Iranians who drive Benzes, and tell you that they don't particularly like the car all that much.

I hate those Iranians who tell you they live in Bel Air, but then you find out it's an apartment with a roommate.

I hate Iranians who insist you try this new drink they've invented, called the "Persian Surprise".

I hate Iranians who look right at you, blink a lot and then and insist, "No, I am Italian."

I hate Iranians who smell like Ghormeh Sabzi after Raquetball.

I hate Iranians who pretend they are dumb.

I hate Iranians who like Baseball.

I hate Iranians who think they could actually be DJ's (DJ Rameen Excluded)

I hate Iranians who own "Mediterranean Cuisine" restaurants.

I hate Iranians who have been here for 30 years and esteel eenseest on tokking like dees!

I hate Iranians who march in the same NY streets to protest the movie 300, but can't seem to schedule it when Ahmadinejad is visiting.

I hate Iranians who start web-based petitions that collect fake emails.

I hate those Iranians who live well, in Iran, and don't complain. I don't blame them, but I hate them.

I hate Iranians who are actually free, and still can't speak out a simple NO.

But most of all, I hate Iranians who hate Iranians. And before Bacheh Porroo can say it, yes, therefore, I must hate myself. And you know what? Especially these days, I find, that I kind of do.

Which actually sucks. I think I need that "Persian Surprise" drink after all!


more from bahmani

to: hh and Anonymous2222

by bahmani on

Hurt by Iranians? Are you serious? You mean you haven't been hurt by Iranians? You mean in 2500 years of oppression, the shah and the mollahs, (who are Iranian in case you forgot) you're still capitulating and willing to forgive our collective great cowardly crime of not once standing up successfully to our oppressors? And you're OK with that and I'm crazy? Maybe it's only me who sees it (I doubt that) but the obvious level of national multi-millenial failure as a people to even once exercise our free will, is nothing less than shameful my friends. I hate to burst your bubble, but digeh come on! That is taking national pride to an extremely Stockholm Syndrome level of denial.


i.love.iran: i.love.your.addition.

by bahmani on

Awesomely said. Great points from a great observation point. Beh in migan javab!


to I.love.Iran:

by London (not verified) on

But i luv u.


A good drink for you also is "Persian Lady".

by Vavaloo (not verified) on

A good drink for you is also "Persian Lady". It releases all your hate out of you. You may need few.

Drink after all sensibly.


I'll Join...!!!

by I.love.Iran (not verified) on

I hate Iranians who call themselves Persian.

I hate Iranians who make it their job to crack the same repetitive Rashti/Turk joke at every Iranian gathering they go to simply because they lack the ability to have an intelligent conversation.

I hate Iranians who hate on me for being able to visit Iran.

I hate Iranians who think I'm supportive of the IRI because I visit Iran every chance I get. Fuck you, I have fun bitches!

I hate Iranian parents who encourage their kids to either become a doctor, lawyer, or mohandes of some sort.

I hate Iranian kids who listen to their dumb parents and secretly see themselves as failures unless they become a doctor, lawyer, or a mohandes who makes a lot of money.

I hate these Iranian kids who become competitive little bitches.

I hate Iranian girls who talk about Iranian men like theyre the only men in the world who fuck girls over. Get over it. Oh, and then they retaliate by dating a white guy... that's always fun to watch!

I hate Iranians who blame all of Iran's fucking problems on Allah, Allah, Allah.

I hate Iranians who talk about Zoroastrianism being the true religion for Iranians, but when you ask them what its about, all they can say is – Good thoughts, Good deeds, Good words.

I hate Iranians who tell their kids "mardom chi migan!" fuck mardom, mom

I hate Iranian Rappers. You ALL suck. Especially the American-born ones, actually you just make me laugh... and cry.

I hate tehrani Iranians who think they are better than everyone else in Iran (this can also be said about LA Iranians vs other US Iranians)

I hate (young) Iranians in Iran who boycotted the national elections.. and are now crying about it.

I hate Iranians who haven't been to Iran in 20 something years and talk as if they know Exactly what the Iranian mardom (esp javanaan) are going through and feel on a daily basis.

I hate Iranians who talk about the Shahs reign as if it was fucking Persian paradise on earth.

I hate all Iranians who mourn, mourn, and mourn.

I hate Iranians who think they are so fucking open-minded yet become worrisome if there is a chance their son/daughter doesn’t marry into a family with money

I hate Iranians who live in the past, actually I just feel sorry for them...

I hate Iranians who show off, especially when it comes to political knowledge, religion, and STATUS---pretty much everyone who writes bullshit on this site.


nonsense hh

by just me (not verified) on

hey hh, why everything has to end up with politics..Mr bahmani's comment has nothing to do with times or political statues, and why is everything from farting to fainting is Zionist or American fault..,IT IS JUST FUN..get it into your brainwashed head..



by just me (not verified) on

This hh guy is the most insecure man/woman i've ever seen..hey hh listen. i have many friends american, german,mexican,british land ist goes on and on f and they make fun of their own culture why can't we..there nothing wrong with it..


in the name of fun

by just me (not verified) on

i like your comments, they are funny. as you said it's blog and just a random thought. but i don't get this hh guy, what is his problem? hey hh, calm down,,we're all iranian and we have a right to make fun of ourselves and our culture and people..if we can't do it then who can..often times comedy is a release from the stress source in our everyday lives..lt's just in the name of fun, it doesn't mean anything..


The answer to fools is silence

by hh (not verified) on

obviously you are a fool and stupid as well not to mention arrogant, spoiled and mal-treated by someone in your past, perhaps by some other iranian( oh I am sooo stupid I don't know how to spell, I ment Iranian). I now know your level of inteligence. the answer to your stupid and nonesense( oh spelling!!) is silence. But I mention a thing or two here to set your ass staight.thank god( spelling again, I mean Thank God) you don't live in Iran. Just enjoy the life here and try to be a little more mature than an idiot and don't give bowlshit about blog nonesense, and whatch your language. Apparently you have not been kicked in the ass enough to know your limits and have grown up so spoiled that your stupid behavior is hopeless.


love list

by positive (not verified) on

Ok...saw your list,- and you're on target with most,
but the poor guy wants to keep his restaurant open,
and he/she is just being business savvy.

Love list:
chelokabab, abgoosht and ghormeh-sabzi



best jokes in the world

sharpest profanities in the world

best manner/worst manners in the world

best poets and writers

worst leaders and politicians

lots of heart and lots of brains, just don't use
either the way they should

creative and imaginative

best women (and a few good men)

love education and learning


...there, you see, lots to love!


Wow speaking of hate! you

by Anonymous2222 (not verified) on

Wow speaking of hate! you poor thing have been hurt obviously by someone that happened to be Iranian. My sympathies, but there are good and bad in every nation....don't take it out on all of us. We've all been hurt, just grow up!


Parham: No, I like you...

by bahmani on

I hate Iranians who THINK they should be DJ's. Of course you don't think, you ARE!!!


Baba: I'm exaggerating!

by bahmani on

So what do you hate?


But we are the best.

by Best in the West (not verified) on

Ignore Islam part; we are dealing with it. As for Iranian, with our flaws, we are esteel the best.


hh: So many places to start...

by bahmani on

First off, this is blog, not the rewrite of the Iranian constitution. Why don't YOU take your worthless click and go somewhere else to read real literature. I can suggest several you can consider. Especially if you are looking for a answer to your life's questions, because I can promise you I don't have it. As you can see, ANYONE (just get yourself a login) can post a blog in this esteemed (starting to become esteamed) publication. If your English sucks (which it does BTW) you can even post your own garbage in Farsi or Arabic if you like. Finally, this piece is an OPINION, not a report, not an engineering thesis which you sound like you've written one or two of, so there will NEVER be stats and graphs and pie charts to prove a point. Take it for what it is worth. Apparently to you, not much, but to actually write me a comment that is 3 times the length of the actual piece, (and somehow you even managed to connect it with Zionism, American foreign policy and the British!) shows you have a special brand of bullshit, that I can now add to my list of hatred of. And although I can read Farsi well, I am well past done reading the obsolescent RUMI you apparently still worship like a horoscope. I think (again, an opinion) continually looking at ourselves in the mirror of history is a big part of our big problem, all we are doing is admiring our own asses. And just so we're clear, I hate that too.


Can we use other words to

by Baba (not verified) on

Can we use other words to describe our feelings instead of “hate?”

I guess I understand were you are coming from---because I do dislike a lot of other things about Iranians. (You did not even mention one of them, anyway.) Still I do not like to use a strong word like “hate,” unless we exaggerate. Then, is it not another characteristic of Iranian to exaggerate about almost everything, whether they like it or dislike it?


What about DJ Parham? Do you

by Parham on

What about DJ Parham? Do you hate him too? Hmmm? :-)


it is very easy to hate

by IRANIAN-NOT (not verified) on

it is very easy to hate people that are arrogant, vain, superficial, materialistic, tight with their money, who like to find out everything else about everybody else's lives and ask a lot ot questions about others, but when you do it to them, they feel disrespected, who do not know how to say a proper good bye, who take advantage of good willed people, who lie, cheat, steal by conning people,pretend to like you and stab you in the back, pretend they are your friends and talk bad about you as soon as you leave, double faced, backstabbing, rich want to be,
whose women are all about fake plastic surgeons altered beauties,who disregard their men, and take lovers on the side, but still pretend they are saintly virgins, yeah it is easy to hate you iranians


A good drink for you is "Persian Lady"

by Vavaloo (not verified) on

A good drink for you is "Persian Lady". It releases all your hate out of you.

Drink after all sensibly.


Some good points and some not very good ones!

by Nader on

Your essay is somewhat funny and holds truth to most of it, but at times you go overboard.

I am all for "tanz', yet too much sarcasm will take the flavor away!

Overall, not a bad one. It could have been better though.


who are you? what is your education?

by hh (not verified) on

Dear Bahmani,

I find that you make comments on all kinds of things. who are you? and what is your background? and what is your education( literary or socially)?

why don't you discuss something with substance and perhaps yours your intelect to make a point that you can back up by data. otherwise, take your nonesense somewhere else. if a non-Iranian read this, what kind of massage are you giving him. are you helping your culture and your cause or just shooting off the mouth? please your your inteligence in promoting culture and wisedom and perhaps educate someone. we don't need more demonizing of Iranian at this time. the Zionist and west lovers like you are doing it. So, if you really like your culture and Iran, regardless of who is runing it, then promote your country, its people, its art, History, its beauty, and how the west for the last 100 years has raped it and blunder its resources and created exiles like you who now doing their deed of demonizing it more.

I suggest you read some books and perhaps some poetyr of Rumi and others( if you know how to read Farsi). I can recommend many books if you don't get insulted by my suggestion, to enlighten your mind and perhaps repsect the land where you came from. I don;'t here a zionist badmouthing the land that is not even theirs do you? so, please give up the nonesense about Iran. if you are ashamed like so many then change your name and call yourself italian or whatever, but don't call yourself iranian and then bad mouth them. I perhaps agree with most of your point, but you don't here american or British bluntly degrade themselves in front of " forreigners" do you? thank you and sorry for the typos