by bahmani

I swear if I see that Cyrus the Great scroll one more time, I'm going to hurl. That and another Rumi celebration. The obsession we seem to have with our past may seem adorably cute to non-Iranians at a cocktail party, until they suddenly realize that we actually have a particular ADD-like problem when it comes to the great culture of Persia. This awkward pause usually occurs after we have dominated the entire conversation, informing and educating the quieter and quieter crowd, as to how Persia has given the world the following, (in no apparent order);

The concept of a holy trinity: Father, Man (the Son), Angels (The Holy Ghost)
The Halo as the commonly used identifier of Angels
The concept of gift giving during the Winter Solstice (Christmas)
Ice Cream
Aqueducts and long range irrigation
Indoor Plumbing and the Sewer System
Air Conditioning
The Postal System
One of the first written languages
The Battery

and Ok, FINE! The first Human Rights declaration. Sort of.

No matter how benevolent we have painted Cyrus the Great over the many years we have been forced to worship him, I can't help but remind us all of the relatively high number of graves dug as a result of his undoubted eagerness and enthusiasm in bringing human rights to all he waged war on. "You are going accept freedom, even if I have to enslave you!" One thing is certain that in the eyes of Cyrus everyone was equal. To say it another way, everyone paid taxes equally. The film 300 (and eons of Greek propaganda aside) illustrated, rather elegantly what happened to you if you didn't.

So how did we get from being the world's tax collectors and first organized protection racket, to this? Actually I don't even know what this is? Trying to define Homo Iroonius is about as easy as trying to understand what the hell GW is saying during any press conference. Looking back a mere 100 years and it appears even more confusing. The Qajars, oft blamed for selling off the country to the West to feed a Monarch's depravity, sounds bad until you look at the Pahlavis who replaced them. The same level of blame can be attached to the Pahlavis, only this time selling off the country's oil, not to feed depravity per se (Ashraf's pornography collection excepted), but more and more as it is uncovered, a deeply complexed and increasingly paranoid Monarch. All apparently the result of not enough Daddy time. And finally, to this latest incarnation of "Monarchy". Some diseased blend of bizarre self flagellant voodoo. Organically grown to be sure, yet infested with a blight so deep, to create an entirely new species, that simultaneously gives fruit to and feeds off of self-perpetuating apathy.

A prime example of this is the claim, that everything is America's fault. Anti-regime Iranians abroad, angrily wave the Pro-Iranian flag (albeit lion adorned) and claim it is America's fault (specifically Jimmy Carter's) that today's Iran is not the airline-pilot-after-shave infused Iran of the 70's. Pro-regime Iranians inside (and apparently some in Canada) wave the Pro-Iranian flag (albeit allah-trimmed), and claim it is America's fault that today's Iran cannot become a true if unnatural islamic Iran they claim it is ordained to become.

So it's certainly not getting any better. We're not evolving. Shit, compared to this tracking path of the devolutionary journey of Homo Iroonius, the previously thought historical embarrassment of the Qajar period was a fricking enlightenment!


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Ben Madadi

Dear Behruz Bahmani

by Ben Madadi on

Thanks for your contributions! Unfotunately I have reached the conclusion that Iranians aren't yet there to understand what people like you are saying :)


Good luck!

by AmirT on

Mr. Bahmani,


I appreciate your efforts to educate your fellow Iranians, but please just take a look at the comment sections in iranian.com taa bebini baa kiaa taraf i! Every single discussion ends up with fohsh-kaari, etc. One thing is for sure though: Homos Iroonius simply sucks.


aalam i digar bebaayad saakht v az now aadam i!


I wish you good luck, anyway.


Following contributions we

by Anonymous34344 (not verified) on

Following contributions we made to the earth:

- Contraception! In Ancient Persia they had more than 30 forms of contraception. I would love to get my hands on a list but have been unable to.

- Being late.

- Taking 2 hours to say goodbye.

- Cheshm ghorreh

- Naz o ghameesho injur chizaieh khub khub

- Self hate.


Its not that bad

by Alborzi (not verified) on

For a while I thought you are accusing Iranians to be homo. We all know that we do not have any. This is really a pan Iranist platform. Its too dogmatic (as the leftists like rafighs)
to totally deny past (its really too red neck not to be proud of Persia) but also being too much into it makes you sound like idiots.


come to your senses Mr. Bahmani embrace your origin.

by XerXes (not verified) on

Mr. Bahmani, I suggest you remember you roots, of great hakhamanesh period.
Cyrus is our god we as iranians must worship him.
He gave us life and he gave us freedom and various rights we never had before, he is the GOD, those who say he was a dictator go to hell, he was not a human, he was GOD and must be worshipped as such.
He is the protector of Iran and will be with us forever. Those who say he was King must be so stupid, he is and will be the only God and the creator of universe and he created US iranians as the ruler of this planet. we must unite. we are
the people of Cyrus the great, korosh bozorg.


Stop genocide of Iranians by Islamists.

by Iran First (not verified) on

Stop genocide of Iranians by Islamists.