FEAR declared officially over!


by bahmani

Nov. 7, 2007 - Albany, CA (somewhere right around that good hendi restaurant) Jahanshah Javid the editor of Iranian.com and a decorated veteran who suffered minor wounds near the groin, during the free speech wars of 2007, came out in favor of free unfettered (if mild profanity peppered) speech today, announcing that effective immediately, all Iranians were required to not be afraid any more. Javid further iterated, "All Iranians are expected (but not required) to eliminate FEAR from their daily lives and speak out with firm conviction on any number of optional topics including: Politics, Religion, Alternative Lifestyles, Career Choices, Buying non-German Cars, Generic Label or Knock-Off Clothes, Jewelry, and Perfume, Baseball, Pornography: helpful or harmful?, and their Real Incomes."

No mention was made about eliminating the other ill, namely LYING, from the Iranian community. Javid added, "Baba jan, this is good enough digeh! As a first step, come on it's Love:40, Serve!", but that he expected future announcements would address many other issues that plague Iranians as appropriate. Such as arriving late to parties, films, and concerts, as well as the lengthy time it takes for Iranian guests to say goodbye and actually leave your home!

Long time whiner, and Javid consiglieri, Bruce Bahmani responded to the announcement with another long winded piece about Pakestan's problems, and said "My first inclination on this news was to immediately threaten to stop writing, then after I walked around it for a couple of days, decided it was my national duty as an Iranian to come back and post something thoughtful about Angelina Jolie."

No date was given for any future announcements but Javid suggested, "Look for something good around April 1st, or Nowrouz, I mean Nouroughse, I mean noruse, AAaaahhh!"

This is an unauthorized official release, any resemblance to a real official release is purely unofficial, but intentional. License, tax, insurance, and batteries while often required, are for some reason never included. Send comments to: please_delete_this_crap@iranian.com


more from bahmani

Access is Sacred!

by bahmani on

Thanks for your thoughtful feeback. You are right of course. The reality is that sometimes feelings will get hurt and a serious conversation can be interrupted. That is life on the internet. Overall I think the experience has enriched me, the others on the site, which can serve to move us all forward. Plus I think a healthy dose of humor is called for. We (especially me) really need to take things less personally and lighter.


Access versus Excess

by Asian (not verified) on

Bruce and JJ,

We thank you and all the other serious contributors
who have done such outstanding work with Iranian.com.

The most recent experiment with an open door access
has now run for long enough to allow for some
reasonable conclusions. One such:

Anonymity = Abuse & irresponsiblity

This has produced much "sound and fury signifying
nothing" tending to detract from its quality and
usefulness as a medium of exchange for responsible

It has become obvious that its enemies are trying
to trash this site with totally inappropiate and
irrelevant rudeness and insults.

When people have to reveal their true and verifiable
names and identities, they have to be much more
careful and truthful with their facts, ideas,
criticisms, language and manners.

This will produce a much higher quality of posts
and a polite medium for exchange of ideas and information.

One of the great advantages of the previous site
was its moderating editorial controls, the letter
section, and the requirement for true identities
rather than an opportunity for abusive name calling.

In the end Quality trumps Quantity, and Iranian.com
will present a much more dignified and respected
image of the Iranian community.

Best wishes.


Bahmani jaan: Maaroo koshti

by Anonymous1234567 (not verified) on

Bahmani jaan:
Maaroo koshti baa in hameh gher-o ferest.

j jan a note to you: baskeh riazi hal kardam khasteh shodam. give us a break baba. what are these math questions! you have our IPs!



by Javad agha (not verified) on

What are you talking about? The majority of Ey-ranians are not only moftkhor but also tarsoo. I used think they are moftkhor because they liked to live in the U.S. because it was a better place, now, I need to add tarsoo to that too.

Ey-ranians = moftkhor + tarsoo


so there goes your theory of No Fear.


Pakistan sounds like Bush would pronounce it!

by bahmani on

I like to think the Pakestanis prefer my spelling, but maybe this could be a separate blogging topic.

Jahanshah Javid


by Jahanshah Javid on

It's PAKISTAN... Not PAKESTAN... Chand dafe edit konam? Irooniyaa faghtat migan PAKESTAN. The rest of the world spells it with an "I". Of course, I should be the last person to speak, considering how badly I es-spell!
Oh... and about your piece...LOLOL