Dear Santa, All I want is an Apology!


by bahmani

I looked at the Sunday paper this weekend, all the ads and Christmas shopping items, and all the happy faces of perfect ethnically diverse models all looking excited, festive, happy, and hopeful at the arrival of yet another American Christmas season. What a great time it is! The weather gets crisp (even in LA) and the people all look snugglier and more huggable than usual.

What amazes me is this concept of merely wishing for something and having it magically appear under the tree on Christmas day. Each American believes in this myth of the blindest of hope. As Iranians, we are of course, more skeptical. Possibly because we've been around the block a few 2500 times or so, having been let down by all 3 gods numerous times. But I'm always game (if not gamey), so here goes my list, I'll let you know if anything happens;

Dear Santa,

I know you are really busy, this being the last 2 weeks before your major shipping night and coordinating all the orders and all, so I'll be brief. All I really want for Christmas is an apology. Well several apologies actually but once you get the gist of the first one, the others should be pretty much the same.

The first apology I want is for just one person in the US to apologize for the government interfering in the purest and most peaceful transition to democracy that we ever had, namely the Mossadegh era backstab, now easily the main impetus behind every single US-Iran argument since 1953. Can you have one of your elves make me that apology? It doesn't even have to work, it just needs to look like a real apology.

The other apology I want is for one person (it can be the same person from apology 1) in the US to apologize for the US supporting both sides of the Iran-Iraq war. Come on Nick! You have to admit that was really naughty and certainly not nice!

Finally, the last apology I want is for someone (this time with blue eyes) in the US to apologize to the world, for the gross mis-investment of the immense eon-changing wealth of the luckiest and most industrious nation in history, squandering it's god-given opportunity to help solve the world's relatively simple problems of hunger, poverty, disease, freedom, and injustice, only instead to madly put useless immense energy and effort into devising more cost effective ways of killing people.

So that's it, just 3 apologies, if it's too tough, you can put the first 2 back on the shelf, and I'll take just the last one. Also no need to wrap it up. I can just wear it on my sleeve.

PS> I think your list may be a bit off, because I am not sure you have been leaving enough coal in some peoples' stockings as you should have been. Although now that I think about it, that could explain George Bush's newfound fascination with re-invigorating US development of clean Coal energy.

Thanks Santa, I love you man.

Sincerely, Timmy (Teymour)


more from bahmani
Ben Madadi

Let's have a serious debate on this...

by Ben Madadi on

Is any person completely innocent? I am not, is anybody? Can any polity comprised of realtively guilty people be completely innocent? No. The point is which polity is a progressive one that accepts its wrongs and takes measures to fix them, and which one is a regressive one that gets either worse, or at least continues the same trend! The US democracy has done Iran some wrongs and I believe it has been a good sign of them for having apologised to a regime like that of Iran (non-democratic and authoritarian etc), but also to the Iranian people! Has any Iranian regime apologised to India for having stolen its treasures during Nader Shah? Has any Iranian regime apologised for having invaded almost all the areas that are not currently Iran but used to be parts of Iran? We know very well that the Pashtun of Afghanistan, the Kurds and many other Sunni Muslims have been suffering because of Iranian regimes invading their land... has any Iranian regime ever apologised? Let's not exaggerate it, but I think the US is much more open anyway and has been able to show signs of civilisation.


An apology starts the ball rolling towards true reconciliation

by bahmani on

An apology is the expression of remorse over a mistake. Clinton apologized for the US deposing Mossadegh and Iran's "parliamentary democracy", which we did not have. We had a constitutional monarchy, a far thing from a democracy, and by framing Mossadegh, the US denied us ever getting to a democracy. Additionally the apology I want is not for the glossed over act of what amounted to framing Mossadegh, but for the cowardly un-American un-John Wayne way in which it was done. Namely, that Kermit Roosevelt Jr. the grandson of the esteemed Theodore Roosevelt, not just "deposed" Mossadegh, but hired known street thugs to go through Tehran and smash windows and write pro-communist and pro-mossadegh graffiti and beat up people in the streets, in the name of the plan. I want an apology for such a dirty and un-American plan. And as part of the plan, Norman Schwarzkopf, Sr. trained the Shah's SAVAK how to "do things". How could any American knowingly get away with it, and die happy with the secret of being responsible for so much misery? I guess what I really want is an apology from America for being un-American. Then I want a refund. Everything that has happened since, the Shah and SAVAK, the hostages, the IRI, is merely a response to this one cowardly-est of acts. No one (not even Bill Clinton) has ever apologized for being un-American. And I think that is what it is going to take to set things right. Then of course it will be our turn.


Bahmani .........I would not hold my breath.....

by Sasha on

 I would not hold my breath on the last one. Getting the first two will  be enough of a miracle. Besides I think Ben said the first on your wish list happened already. Congrats! I guess you missed the memo. Huh? I know I sure did. :o)


Ben thanks for the FYI.






Rosie.......why me?........Et tu Brutus? Ha ha ha :o)

by Sasha on

 I don't want to be the volley ball. I think I am doing enough with making Ghormeh Sabzi for the gang from about an hour away  from Los Alamos. :o)


How did I get dragged into this little thread. Oh, what a tangled web we weave..........Okay, I better go to sleep it is like 3:39 am.





Slasher :o) (AKA Cat Woman)



Come on Bruce

by Melody (not verified) on

Bruce, I read your blogs, and writings, but lately there seem to be so much frustration and may be even hate. Chill out. How about Iranians expressing their apology for holding poor Americans hostage for 444 days. At least we live in this country. Can an American live in Iran and write a blog like yours?
I don't think so.

Just chill, relax, and hopefully you will get more sex from your wife in 2008. You sound like you really need it Buddy.

Take care and happy holidays!!!


What else?

by IraniValiAzad (not verified) on

Next, I hope you ask Amo Norooz to have one moslem Iranian to apologize for:

1) Execution of thousand upon thousands of young Iranians in the hands of moslem rulers. You know those who were executed were the "future" of Iran.

2) Donating billions of dollars to Arab countries so they can rebuild their homes and have a brighter future while Iranian still live in tents and shipping containers in areas that were devastated by earthquakes. Again, a decision by moslem rulers.

3) Causing mass exodus of brightest and most promising people from Iran because staying in Iran equals to slow death under islamic rules

I am sure you can find a few more items to jog down in your wishing list ... but please don't hold your breath for a moslem to apologize to you!


I am a blue-eyed American

by Amerizanzalil (not verified) on

I am a blue-eyed American and I would be happy to apologize to you for Number Three, but I can't do it without my wife's permission. You see, I'm married to an Iranian lady and she'd kick my ass if I did anything (even apologizig for all the American evil in the world today)without getting her permission first.

Life would be so much easier if I could find my....damn where did I put them.....I know I had a pair of balls before I got married...

Oh well, please have a Merry Christmas even if you're a Jew, Muslim or Bahai....but right now my better half is calling me....what azizam.....I coming eshgheman....yes dear....ok goliman....uh huh joon-e-man....whatever you say....yes, I'm so stupid and you are so dear, I would never do anything without your permission first!

Rosie T.

Oh Bruce,, come on....ONE American should apologize?

by Rosie T. on

Lots of progressive people in the US have apologized repeatedly for these thngs, some devote their LIVES to changing them, and there are at least two Americans who who do so largely on this website....

they are not the NORM but there are MANY of them....

Blakc and white.  Black and white.  Black and white.  Why does it always have to be black and white?  Ohrmazd/Ahriman, Ohrmazd/Ahriman until I could go bonkders here...

 Well I thought that at the website picnic I was planning at Los Alamos that the volleyball teams should be named Shahparast and Akhoond Apologists, and the volleyball should have JJ's face on it, since he was the last person who was demanded to apologize for all the travails of Iran....but maybe we should put Dennis Kucinich's image on it?  Or..Ron Paul's...or Michael Moore's...or Teri Schiavo's....or Noam Chomsky's...or how about Sasha's?

Do you know who Sasha is?

Ben Madadi

Behruz... about the first point

by Ben Madadi on

The Clinton administration DID apologise for the Mossadegh affair ;) The rest are pretty much... too much to ask for from a super-power!