Tired of being ignored?

I have resorted to every conceivable tactic to acknowledge my presence


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Tired of being ignored?
by varjavand
18-Jun-2008
 

I was returning home the other day in a commuter train, suddenly one of the passengers in our car sneezed and many reacted kindly by saying “God bless you”. A few minutes later, I sneezed; not once, three times, no one said anything. After a while, I sneezed again intentionally to assert my hypothesis that people do in fact ignore me. No reaction yet again. Even the thoughtful custom of saying “God bless you” after someone sneezes does not apply to the minorities. This is how overtly we are being ignored by others in this society! I am so used to it after so many years of trying to cope with it. Don’t jump into premature conclusion. No, I am not a timid turned-off bore with geeky attitudes. Ii is just a sad reality that “being ignored” is one of the downsides of being a minority in America, I guess. I believe even if there is a disaster like a tornado in my neighborhood, it is going to skip my house! Simply stated, we are not protected by the Equal Attention Opportunity laws! Even when I am in a meeting, or working in a committee, my opinions are not usually taken seriously. However, if the same opinions are expressed by others they are applauded.

      Even though Oprah is not my most favorite TV show, I watch it occasionally simply because my favorite show, Jerry Springer, is aired during day time when I am usually at work. The last time I watched Oprah, her guest was a lady and the title of the show was; “coming out of the closet”. Up to then, I did not know that coming out of a closet is such an enormous accomplishment that gives someone the status of national celebrity. To see how much I am being ignored in this country, I have a walking closet in every room in my house. I go into the closet and come out many times every day and no one, absolutely no one, cares! How much further we can extend the problem of double standards?

      Having suffered from ADS, Attention Deficit Syndrome,I have finally decided to do something to alleviate it. I have resorted to every conceivable tactic to acknowledge my presence and get some attention, often unsuccessfully. These tactics are not always effective because they are plainly silly. So, if the silliness offends you, please skip the next section and move to the last one.

      When I go to grocery store, for instance, I leave my shopping cart unattended hoping that someone will pick it up by mistake. Then, I approach him/her with a salutatory mood to reclaim my shopping cart. However, my hidden agenda is to start a conversation hopefully. Sometimes, I stay at the side walk at the front of my house with heavy duty 1600 watts hair dryer in my hand and point it to the approaching vehicles and scare the drivers by pretending that I am a plain clothes law enforcement agent who is here to check their speed, hoping that they stop and beg me for leniency. Among all such silly strategies, the one that has worked best so far is when I participate in an aerobic class in my fitness club; I suddenly, and intentionally, fake a seizure at the middle of the exercise routines. I pray that I get lucky and a beautiful young lady will volunteer to give me a mouth to mouth resuscitation! Other such techniques I have developed so meticulously have not been as effective. They include but not limited to: requesting that my telephone be taken off the do not call list, or sending email to myself, or stop paying my bills hoping that a collection agency would call me, going to an antique store and ask them what is new!, and finally going to a toy store and ask them if they have a disposable boomerang! All these techniques, clever as they may sound, have not resulted in satisfactory outcomes.

   But, the good news is that I am eventually becoming more popular as I get older or especially when it is close to my birthday. I receive many soliciting letters every day, as you probably do. The debt consolidators, bankruptcy lawyers, online dating services companies, and particularly life insurance providers have become so compassionately interested in my welfare. They keep sending me thoughtfully written letters; however, they are usually addressed to Ms. or Mrs. Varjavand. Apparently, they must think that I am a handsome lady! What I don’t understand is this. If these people are so concerned with my welfare and the well being of my family, why they don’t even bother to find out whether I am male or female? Once I even received an invitation by one of these pageant organizing companies to participate in the state miss beauty pageant! The invitation was serious and complete with step-by-step instructions for preparation and promise to assist me in fund raising and how to form a support committee.

   And, to you the annoying junk e-mailers, modern e-stalkers, who pretend to care about me unselfishly. You fill out my email space with your ignoble emails offering me magic pills that can help me to enlarge certain part of my body! Please, stop that. If you really like to help me, send me an elixir that can enlarge me as a whole so I won’t be interrogated by the bewildered sales associates at JC Penney anytime I try to find the right-size clothes for myself at the big and tall department by accident.  

   Despite all the inattention I usually endure nearly every day, I eventually get some due attention during election campaigns simply because I am an undecided voter. I receive calls occasionally from the offices of different candidates giving me all sorts of tempting promises such as subsidized healthcare, tax cut, balanced budget, clean renewable sources of energy, job security, etc. if I vote for certain candidates. The next day I get more attractive offers from another candidate. If you wish to get some respect, you can also become an undecided voter as well. You see, political candidates, as they say, are like the online lenders; when they compete, you win. The other day, I received a reassuring call from the Republican Party office promising me that if I vote republican, they even invade a country of my choice! Can you meet or beat that Mr. Barack Obama!


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varjavand

Dear Cy;  Thanks for

by varjavand on

Dear Cy; 

Thanks for taking time to write another very informative comment. As you see, my article is intended to be mainly entertaining. I had no intention to promote or justify self pity. I wasn’t even aware of this phenomenon, it sounds like a physiological disorder. I understand your rightful concern that we should stay away from it. Self pity must be a symptom of weakness and inability to coupe with the challenging situations or as you pointed out utilizing the resources to better your life, hence, blaming others for our failure.

Judging from your postings on this site, you are a very good writer, much better than me. Why don’t you write an article on this subject and hope to stir up a debate about it. It is relevant and surely worthwhile.  Sincerely,Varjavand

 


Cy of Persia

Good Humor, Wrong Category

by Cy of Persia on

Dear Varjavand: Thanks for the extra effort to clarify your article. What you have written has nothing to do with Diaspora. I think Diaspora is a bogus title to be given to Iranians anyway.  See my June 9th blog about that subject.   Your humor when placed in the right context and all the specific qualification for an Immigrant removed has a charming Woody Allenish flavor.  What I'd like for Iranian Immigrants and Iranian-Americans in America is to stay away from self pity and sympathy seeking attitude embedded in our culture.  My pet peeve has become the word Iranian Diaspora which to me is nothing more than a crutch for laziness and a giant chip on Iranians' shoulders for not wanting to try.  I especially can't tolerate it from American born/raised generation who don't even have any idea how good their life has been compared to that of their parents.   Yet because they have heard all their lives about nostalgic beauty of Iran, they have become confused as to what they have missed and who they really are and how should they behave. Iran at its best days had nothing to offer which could remotely reach the life style in America. The organization, comfort, great customer service from all businesses and abundance of goods in America cannot be matched by any other country except may be Canada to some extent.  It is true that there was family and emotional support and security of clan living.   But with it came baggage of everybody always sticking their nose in your business and near zero privacy.  People in Iran come to your house unannounced and you are supposed to scramble to tidy up the place.   If you decide to do something, everybody has an opinion which does not always sound very supportive.  They make disparaging remarks about your purchases and make you feel bad about not having shopped thoroughly or bargained harder.   Iranians who do take advantage of American life have an added advantage.  At home they are loved by parents or family and at work, school or personal business; they have the organized and reliable support of American system.   In less than 3 decades, Iranians have established their presence in top of many remarkable categories.  We don't need any help and we can and have realized Iranian-American dream almost effortlessly.  Yet there are those who would whine about being victim of discrimination, what could have been if Mullahs did not take over Iran and the glory of Persian Empire which was ruined by Arabs and Islam.   I think certain Iranians have more aggregate chips on their shoulders than any other nationality. So, if we wanted to praise ourselves for one more thing in a tongue-in-cheek way that would be it.

 


default

Great humor. thanks.

by Anonymouslk (not verified) on

Great humor. thanks.


IRANdokht

Fun Read!

by IRANdokht on

That was cute!

Unfortunately I don't believe when the politicians compete, WE win.

I think they're competing for AIPAC's vote and the evangelical vote more than anything else... and that's who will actually win!

but I like your sense of humor, I keep going in and coming out of my walk-in closets every day too but nobody made a fuss about me either.

:0)

IRANdokht

PS: Cy, I don't think you read the whole thing... did u?


default

Do Not Take Things Personally

by Anonymous1112 (not verified) on

You know I parctice yoga every day since I moved to big city and I give All The Love and Attention I need to myself and as a matter of fact people come to me to know more about me, I have no family here and of course no other freinds just love is in the air , open your eyes. It is the same concept in every where in the world people have their own problems, why should we be an self pitty immigrant while we can just not pay attention to what people think about us. Just make it your new goal " Dont Take Any Thing Personaly".


Abarmard

Too fast

by Abarmard on

To the conclusion. Anyways to beat McCain I would say not only Mr. Obama will take a country of your choice, but he will share some of the treasures stolen from them with you. Beat that McCain.


varjavand

Dear Commenters;   

by varjavand on

Dear Commenters;

  

Thanks for your comments.

 

To: Cy, as you know, the organizers of this site choose the category under which they want to put your article, I have nothing to do with it.

  Even though my day time job is serious my writings are not. This article, as you guessed, was meant to be funny, however, it was designed to remind us of an acute social problem, “discrimination in- disguise”.  Many of its stories are made up, or exaggerated, wrapped in the soft cover of humor, just to describe this social evil. A more serious case of such discrimination is against ugly, fat, and short people, please read my previous article entitled “We, The Short People”, posted on June 5th. Stories like the ones told in this article may, in fact, happen, some of us may shrug them off and others may take them seriously.  

 

Sometime in your life, you have no choice but to resort to humor, if you can, as the best method of relaxation, as a refreshing way to depart from the sameness of your everyday life. Let me copy a segment of a comment by a thoughtful reader about my previous article. “Sometimes (most of the times) reading Iranian.com feels like being in the middle of a war zone and it makes me feel like choking and then I have to fight back with the devil in me who feels like responding! The site is overflowing with frustrated and angry people shouting and insulting and cursing each other about nothing and everything”

And I may add, some of these people are like pigs, the only thing make them happy is mud, others have a gun in their pocket and see everything as a shooting practice, others, just like to open a can full of wild bees just to create noise.  I let you think and laugh at my own expense. By doing that, I not only I enlighten your day with laughter, hopefully, but also avoid costly lawsuits 

Cheer,

 Varjavand

 


varjavand

Dear Commenters;   

by varjavand on

Dear Commenters;

  

Thanks for your comments.

 

To: Cy, as you know, the organizers of this site choose the category under which they want to put your article, I have nothing to do with it.

  Even though my day time job is serious my writings are not. This article, as you guessed, was meant to be funny, however, it was designed to remind us of an acute social problem, “discrimination in- disguise”.  Many of its stories are made up, or exaggerated, wrapped in the soft cover of humor, just to describe this social evil. A more serious case of such discrimination is against ugly, fat, and short people, please read my previous article entitled “We, The Short People”, posted on June 5th. Stories like the ones told in this article may, in fact, happen, some of us may shrug them off and others may take them seriously.  Sometime in your life, you have no choice but to resort to humor, if you can, as the best method of relaxation, as a refreshing way to depart from the sameness of your everyday life. Let me copy a segment of a comment by a thoughtful reader about my previous article. “Sometimes (most of the times) reading Iranian.com feels like being in the middle of a war zone and it makes me feel like choking and then I have to fight back with the devil in me who feels like responding! The site is overflowing with frustrated and angry people shouting and insulting and cursing each other about nothing and everything”

And I may add, some of these people are like pigs, the only thing make them happy is mud, others have a gun in their pocket and see everything as a shooting practice, others, just like to open a can full of wild bees just to create noise.  I let you think and laugh at my own expense. By doing that, I not only I enlighten your day with laughter, hopefully, but also avoid costly lawsuits 

Cheer,

 Varjavand

 


Cy of Persia

Did you mean to post this under humor?

by Cy of Persia on

And how come there is a Diaspora catagory in this On-line magazine? 

Why does a member of diaspora have a job, a place to live, rides a commuter train and gets to watch TV?  I thought diaspora members have all their belonging on back of a donkey going up with the rest of unfortunate people along a cold mountain pass on their way to a UN camp or something.

If you are joking and you are that hard up for attention.  Sneez and say Bless me to yourself.   

If you want more attention, don't live in NYC or some other Gynormous city.   Move to Mayberry and live next door to Mrs. Kravitz from Bewitched.  She will know about every move that you make and she will ask you about it. 

Most of all and this is for all of you poor little neglected and ignored diaspora babies:

Get over yourselves!  Self pity is not an attractive trait!


Niloufar Parsi

Nice read Mrs. Varjavand!

by Niloufar Parsi on

thanks :)

so, what are the fringe benefits of being a fringe minority? Are there any?