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The hell with Valentine's Day
06-Feb-2008
I’m not embittered, haven’t been jilted at the altar, nor am I replete with devastating psychological scars from many a lonely February 14th sipping noodle soup underneath a tattered and homely blanket while crocheting a new outfit for Whiskers the most portly of my many cats. So why, oh why do I think that Valentine’s Day is perhaps one of the biggest scams going? I can’t help but take inspiration from Hamlet’s Ophelia who perhaps voices one of the first of many woeful literary asides mentioning Valentine’s Day, and at least according to my own rewriting of that great Shakespearean tragedy her madness and later drowning can all pretty much be flung on the doorstep of this dreadful and regrettable holiday.
The reasons for my diatribe are quite frankly that I believe in all seriousness that Valentine’s Day is a complete and utter sham masquerading as the alpha and omega of lovers' days. Rather than a day of heart-fluttering and butterflies, for many it is one of gut wrenching disappointment and the utmost dejection. Those not strong enough to resist the ineluctable desire for conformity and anonymity become pariahs even by their own evaluation. And if that wasn't bad enough the Übermenschen and Überfrauen amongst us who choose to rebel against the wave of mediocrity poised to engulf and eviscerate us at any moment, are pretty much assured marginalization and to be ostracised by society’s sheep as heartless, selfish misogynists and misanthropes respectively. Calumny and slander is what I reply to the drones that spout off the usual trite and unthinking litany!
Another one of the things that really 'grinds my gears' as Family Guy's Peter Griffin is so fond of saying, is that we've all been corralled into lauding the inane and insipid routine of sending a torrent of pre-programmed cards, which are just that. We've been lulled into forgoing any creative effort, even for those whom we supposedly claim our undying love. Valentine's Day cards are what microwave dinners are to food and culinary talent!
We need to recognise the undeniable corporate agenda which is fuelling this industry and rather than helping relationships along, it is in fact hindering them. Firstly, retailers have exhaustively commodified Valentine's Day beyond any legitimate proportions, setting up peoples' expectations by means of an onslaught of marketing gimmicks and enticing fictions. Expectations then inevitably crash back to earth when the spouse fails to live up to such inflated demands. Secondly, the myriad of bandwagon-jumping corporate bloodsuckers disseminate the delusion that you can slap a price tag on love, while at the same time generating a bountiful source of revenue in a slow financial quarter. The diamond industry was particularly ingenious in this regard, but their MO is clear for anyone who chooses to see through the web of sophisms claimed as endearing.
It’s greatly tragic that we need the likes of Hallmark to celebrate our love for our better half. How many times have you seen whether in fiction or real life one spouse, usually the guy, haphazardly throwing together out of some disingenuous sense of obligation to convention, a bunch of mangled flowers, a half melted and gooey box of chocolates, just to placate a formidable spouse, who herself only cares whether she receives something so as to goad her single friends in re-examining the overwhelming disappointments that they actually have the gall to call the vicissitudes of their lives. The near war-cry made by these Boudica-like women, 'hubby you’re in for a beating and no nookie unless you deliver the goods!', against their so-called friends is that it’s far better to be in a stale relationship than be single, lonely and destined to spinsterhood. This hasty assumption is made by that host of co-dependents (you know full-well who you are!) incapable of living fulfilling and content lives themselves. Valentine’s Day like so many other conventions in our culture is just another instance of our near congenital compulsion to ‘keep up with the Joneses'.
Many guys we can be sure make a minimum of effort so that they are rewarded in turn with favours in the bedroom, while more often than not the girls just what something to brag about and one more reason to sneer at their friends. Justifiably so, many feel marginalised as smug couple upon smug couple vie to broadcast their love, not out of a romantic sentiment but rather the desperate attempt to grab validation and approval on the battlefield for status, desirability and sex appeal.
Where are the authenticity and the heartfelt emotion? Is it all just blather or are we not supposed to strive to show and express our love and care for our better half each and every day? Are a stuffed, crushed velvet heart and a wilting bunch of red roses really a testament to those couples who experience day in and day out a deep-rooted care and affection for one another? The short answer is a resounding NO! Many a Valentine’s Day date is akin to a dress rehearsal where the main event never takes place and yet another instance where societal conventions and mores dictate when and how we are supposed to feel. If we succumb to the corporate agenda with its corporate itinerary we are destroying the remaining vestiges of spontaneity, creativity and imagination that still courses through our veins.
P.S. This was an experiment in polemic - don't believe the hype!
© Eskandar Sadeghi
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All I know.........
by Natalia Alvarado-Alvarez on Tue Feb 17, 2009 09:11 PM PSTis that my students love celebrating Christmas and Valentine's Day at school. It brings some joy in their otherwise bleak lives.
I gladly accept whatever gifts they give me whether bought or made. Their gifts have great meaning for me because it does to them.
I also confess that I am a hopeless romantic. All you have to do is read my poetry. Dead give away.
However, I do agree that Valentine's Day is exploited by businesses.
When you truly love someone, you will do random acts of kindness for them year round and not once a year. :o)
Valentines Day
by mrdbc (not verified) on Thu Feb 12, 2009 05:58 PM PSTThis whole valentines day of giving and receiving cards, flowers ( and god help us, chocolates?<--why do some people even eat these things, when they know that the stuff might rot their teeth in the long run? ), is total insanity!!! We don't need to get in on the hype and " follow the pack " to the stores, candy shops or flower stores just to show that " loved person ( man or woman )" how much we care ( for him or her ). I bet during this week ( 2/9 to 2/14 ), the majority of people will be buying Valentine gifts for their loved ones. Why not just buy one single gift ( something that won't dry up or
melt ) and say " here, this is for you and may it last every year. " That ought to do it for the rest of each years Valentines Day. Women should do the same thing that is stated here. I bet both men and women would be better off that way and then that way, the country would be saved many billions of dollars which could go towards something else of value. For those that wanted to have nothing to do with Valentines Day, then good for them. Those people will be saved the heartache and stress of having to buy said Valentines Day gifts.
I agree.... Same goes with
by Anonymous01 (not verified) on Sun Feb 10, 2008 10:29 AM PSTI agree....
Same goes with Christmas gifts. commercialized and abused traditions in western culture does not serve the purposes and meanings behind those traditions.
good for economy but
by Jaami (not verified) on Thu Feb 07, 2008 09:44 AM PSTgood for economy but remember
it is all about economy. Stimulus for capitalist economy so money circulates from buyer to buyer to seller who buys food from one who sells materils who buys from farmers.
So all pay taxes and govs can run.
consumerism is the fundamental way of making capitalistic economy work.
Santa valentines, all these designed for spending.
you can choose your own way. personally a girl who wants valentine gift is dumb and maybe with an IQ lower than my cat's IQ.
History Of Valentine's day
by Cupid XOXO (not verified) on Thu Feb 07, 2008 06:36 AM PSTAs early as the fourth century B.C., the Romans engaged in an annual young man's rite to passage to the God Lupercus. The names of the teenage women were placed in a box and drawn at random by adolescent men; thus, a man was assigned a woman companion for the duration of the year, after which another lottery was staged. After eight hundred years of this cruel practice, the early church fathers sought to end this practice... They found an answer in Valentine, a bishop who had been martyred some two hundred years earlier.
According to church tradition St. Valentine was a priest near Rome in about the year 270 A.D. At that time the Roman Emperor Claudius-II who had issued an edict forbidding marriage.
This was around when the heyday of Roman empire had almost come to an end. Lack of quality administrators led to frequent civil strife. Learning declined, taxation increased, and trade slumped to a low, precarious level. And the Gauls, Slavs, Huns, Turks and Mongolians from Northern Europe and Asian increased their pressure on the empire's boundaries. The empire was grown too large to be shielded from external aggression and internal chaos with existing forces. Thus more of capable men were required to be recruited as soldiers and officers. When Claudius became the emperor, he felt that married men were more emotionally attached to their families, and thus, will not make good soldiers. So to assure quality soldiers, he banned marriage.
Valentine, a bishop , seeing the trauma of young lovers, met them in a secret place, and joined them in the sacrament of matrimony. Claudius learned of this "friend of lovers," and had him arrested. The emperor, impressed with the young priest's dignity and conviction, attempted to convert him to the roman gods, to save him from certain execution. Valentine refused to recognize Roman Gods and even attempted to convert the emperor, knowing the consequences fully.
On February 24, 270, Valentine was executed.
"From your Valentine"
While Valentine was in prison awaiting his fate, he came in contact with his jailor, Asterius. The jailor had a blind daughter. Asterius requested him to heal his daughter. Through his faith he miraculously restored the sight of Asterius' daughter. Just before his execution, he asked for a pen and paper from his jailor, and signed a farewell message to her "From Your Valentine," a phrase that lived ever after.
Valentine thus become a Patron Saint, and spiritual overseer of an annual festival. The festival involved young Romans offering women they admired, and wished to court, handwritten greetings of affection on February 14. The greeting cards acquired St.Valentine's name.
The Valentine's Day card spread with Christianity, and is now celebrated all over the world. One of the earliest card was sent in 1415 by Charles, duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was a prisoner in the Tower of London. The card is now preserved in the British Museum.
0
by sadegh on Wed Mar 12, 2008 12:43 AM PDT0
Islamist instinct?
by Anonymouss (not verified) on Thu Feb 07, 2008 04:55 AM PSTWell well the gloves, or in your case the mask is off. Your colorful language is reminiscent of the situation that the instinct of a converted former Muslim upon having the light turned on in the room gets him to say the traditional greetings to Prophet Mohammad and his kin. Your very Islamist mob gutter language speaks volume and I leave it at that. Good day.
Broken Record!
by sadegh on Thu Feb 07, 2008 04:42 AM PSTBroken record!
Muhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
by sadegh on Thu Feb 07, 2008 04:40 AM PSTRighteous indignation...how pathetic!!! I responded accordingly; your initially aggressive and insipid post deserves only the same in turn...I don't argue and discuss with brick walls, just like I don't bash my head against them. Why you ask? Because it's a waste of frickin time dude! Islamo-Facist demagoguery is far more fun!!! Muhahahahahahahahaha! It's extremely amusing that you actually expect me to take you seriously!!! It's far more fun just taunting you in a language that you can understand. It's so insane, someone can't even talk about Valentine's Day without a punk on this site lambasting him because he isn't denouncing the IRI! You losers need to get a hobby or just get a huge box of porn to keep you occupied, so that you stop harassing people that actually like discussing issues. Thanks for all of your stupid bravado and posturing it really brightened up my day!
Lefty demagoguery
by Anonymouss (not verified) on Thu Feb 07, 2008 04:18 AM PSTPhysical violence, even your rhetorical one, is not my forte. I think we have had enough of it at the hands of lefties, Capitalists, Fascists and Islamists to last well beyond the next millennia. As to your constant weaving, dodging and zigzagging from a topic that you open to another, well good luck with that Lefty and I am afraid to inform you very Islamic republican demagoguery.
o
by sadegh on Wed Mar 12, 2008 12:45 AM PDTo
0
by sadegh on Wed Mar 12, 2008 12:46 AM PDT0
Spot on self-Diagnosis?
by Anonymouss (not verified) on Thu Feb 07, 2008 03:06 AM PSTSince you brought it up and want to go that way “the worst thing” would be espousing lefty hypocritical thoughts, living a Capitalist life, given the history of the treachery of left toward him displaying nationalistic icon and not a peep about IRI’s anti human practices all at the same time
I'm possessed by demons!!!
by sadegh on Thu Feb 07, 2008 02:46 AM PSTLong live the hypocrites!!! Feigned puritanism behind the veil of anonymity is only worse than the real thing!
A resounding yes
by Anonymouss (not verified) on Thu Feb 07, 2008 02:32 AM PSTlong live the lefty hypocrites and everyone else!
jlajflajsflaslkhalgkhaljg
by sadegh on Thu Feb 07, 2008 02:15 AM PSTLong live the hypocrites!
Lefty's hypocrisy
by Anonymouss (not verified) on Thu Feb 07, 2008 01:07 AM PSTEven though it has long lost its humanistic definition, especially among those innately Capitalists who spouse it loudly and despise it in practice, nevertheless, lefty was not meant as a derogatory term. The point was the hypocrisy that kind of mindset breeds which is best on display when this piece is read carefully all the way to the end proviso and all.
o
by sadegh on Wed Mar 12, 2008 12:47 AM PDTo
Jilted lefty
by Anonymouss (not verified) on Wed Feb 06, 2008 10:22 AM PSTYou might not be embittered or jilted in your love life, but your angle of attack on Valentines’ commercialism is of an embittered, jilted lefty. In this dog eat dog world of ours any occasion for showing love or some semblance of humanity, be it as fleeting or as corporate driven as you make Valentine day to be, is welcomed.