Turtle Astronauts Defect to West
Enduring America

Earlier this week, President Ahmadinejad declared the Mother of All Space Triumphs for the Islamic Republic with the launch of a satellite-boosting rockets. Iran’s brave astro-warriors were two turtles, a mouse, and some worms.

Unfortunately, it appears that the Space Age victory has turned into a defeat. As soon as the rocket was beyond Iranian air space, the turtle-astronauts sent radio messages to the Free “orld announcing their resignation from their duties with the Islamic Republic and asked the US Government to grant them political asylum and, hopefully, a ride back on the Space Shuttle. Mir Hossein Mousavi took immediate advantage of the situation, called the turtles “brave members of the Green Party”. (Ahmadinejad’s press advisor later put out a statement, without mentioning the defection, that the turtles’ shells were in fact not Green but Blue.)

There is still no news about the whereabouts of the worms, but Enduring America has picked up signals of a press conference from inside the capsule in which the “rat” has denounced the decision by the turtles and called them “agents of Zionists and monarchists”. There are rumours that a fight has broken out between the animals in the midst of the weightlessness.

BREAKING NEWS: President Ahmadinejaad has just told reporters that Iran will free three detained American hikers in exchange for the return of the turtles, whom he claimed had ... >>>

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