How Iran became a free country II - The Caviar Republic

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How Iran became a free country II - The Caviar Republic
by Q
04-Jun-2009
 

In part I, we followed a small group of courageous Iranian freedom fighters living in the Western countries and doing most of their activism on Iranian.com. These precious sons of Iran-zamin devised a perfect foolproof plan to bring down the IRI, and establish freedom, democracy and eternal happiness for their fellow Iranians and the rest of the world.

This plan was devised by this very small group of Iranians possessing superior courage, foresight and advanced planning skills. The self-recognized value of these individuals to the rest of Iran was not unlike the precious seafood export that Iran is world famous for. The theme of Caviar was thus appropriated accordingly. The activists had used a line art symbol of an oval-shaped tin can with a fish symbol on it. This Caviar graphic became the official insignia of the revolution and was soon copied by all Iranian freedom seekers and freedom loving people all over the world. By the time the election came around, millions of Iranians were placing the symbol on their walls, clothing, cars and websites.

The cracks in the house of lies

In the week after the elections, there was panick all over Tehran and other big cities. Even though IRI had refused to release the raw numbers, word was leaked that only 47% of the people had voted. Just knowing that less than half of the people had voted, enticed almost every Iranian to start challenging the legitimacy of the IRI in small ways. Even the 47% joined in the revolution because even though they were Islamists, they did not want to live in a country that disrespects the majority. The number "47" together with the can of Caviar was printed everywhere.

Back in the Supreme Leader's compound, a top secret national emergency meeting was being held. Many of the top Mullahs had fled the country, because they had correctly deduced what would happen if there was ever a successful boycott. When Khamenei entered the room, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad by his side, the other attendees collectively gasped and looked at each other with a mix of curiosity and nervousness. The President had never been allowed to attend the meetings of the people who really run the country.

The room was a large, modern gray conference room with state of the art video surveilance and conferencing technology. The monocolored barren walls were windowless. The room distinctly lacked any of the usual decorations normally displayed in IRI buildings. There was no pictures of Khomeini, no maps of Iran, no Islamic calligraphy, no Hezbollah insignia, nothing except the giant British flag attached to a golden stand in the corner of the room.

The supreme leader took his seat. Ahmadinejad also found a seat to the left of the leader. To his left was Ahmad Bin Mansour, the Kuwaiti-born clandestine minister of Arabization of Iran. To his left was the secret head of all military and intelligence, Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani. Accross from him sat Tony Blair, the Queen's secret envoy to Iran. Between him and Ahmadinejad sat a still jetlagged Jahanshah Javid.

After the customery "God save the Queen", Blair got up and pointed directly at Khamenei. "You've bloody done it now, haven't you?" Said Blair. Khamenei fired back in perfect working class accent: "This wa'ent my bloody depar'ment! Why don' you bug this bloak?" pointing to Javid. At this point Rafsanjani got up and took a short walk.

Yes, Please! Explain to us how a couple of pesky Internet commenters are endangering everything we have fought for in the past 40 years?

I don't know! They outsmarted my staff by creating fake accounts!

"But how did this happen," said Mansour. "The Arabization process was supposed to ensure that these thoughts couldn't occur to people."

Khamenei, visibly stressed, looked down on the table while holding his forehead with both hands. Rafsanjani answered Mansour:

These people were part of the brain drain, Mansour, they obviously escaped Arabization. They are smart! But all is not lost, we still have the Revolutionary Guards. They might have deligitimized us, but we still have the power.

Ahmadinejad was confused but he kept his mouth shut.
The whole group was acutely aware of the faintly audible cries and slogans being chanted in the streets outside. But none of them wanted to appear as though they are actively trying to decipher the words. To the Iranian nation, these chants were loud and clear however.

khaviar, khaviar,
montazar-eh to hasteem,
khaviar, khaviar,
sang-o be del bebasteem
gorosne-ye to hasteem
...

The next phase of the revolution

A minivan was waiting outside the banquet hall where the committee for the Caviar Revoution (CCR) was holding their festivities. Gradually the partiers moved outside the hall on the busy Paris street curb. Friends and family were at hand and supporters helped to fill the back of the van with all the suitcases and laptop carriers. Hugs and kisses were dispensed liberally as the committee members took their seats inside the 8 passenger van. The vehicle began moving, the young driver keenly aware that he was literally carrying the Caviar Revolution toward its next destination in history.

"How long will the trip be?" asks Elham, one of the more prominant bloggers from America. "Oh it should be only a few minutes," said Carlos Darivar. Carlos was a Spanish based Iranian intellectual and one of the most active members of the committee. Though Iranian-born, he spent most of his time critiquing theater, and attending plays and operas in the big show houses of the Mediterranian coast. "Singsing is waiting for us there with the new flag design," Carlos continued. FK became interested in the conversation. "Excellent!" he said. FK was short for "Fahme Kah-keshani," a legendary commenter whose reliance on factual evidence and sound logic was respected by all. "I contributed some of the ideas."

About 15 minutes later, the van arrives at the Montparnasse Milk Internet Cafe. Darivar gets out first and gestures over to the driver, "get the bags son." The young man is confused:

What? Is this the final destination? Aren't you going to the Airport?

Haha, no we've got this Internet Cafe all to ourselves this weekend. The next phase of the revolution will be directed from here.

Singsing comes out and helps with the bags. The rest of the committe is ushered inside. "It's perfect Darivar. All thanks to your European connections," says Singsing.

After they get settled in the empty coffee shop and each stake out a favorite Internet terminal, they all gather around the big screen for the unveiling of the flag. Singsing leads the presentation.

We took an online poll and over 90% wanted to keep the basic colors... yea, even the green... but they wanted to drop the IRI sign obviously!

Everyone chuckles.

But there was no concensus on what to replace it with. We wanted something to convey: Secular, secular, secular! We Iranians are secular and have always been. Also Iran's glory.... and rejection of Tazi regime. There were several good ideas, so we went with the top 5, and put them all in. In the middle, you see the sign of the Caviar Revolution. Kids in Tehran are carrying this now on their motorcycles it's all the rage. By the way, I've got the copyright thing done just yesterday... Anyway, the Caviar can in the middle... numeral 47 to tell the world that only 47% of the people voted for the IRI which was the first act of freedom... right smack underneath it.

Then, you got your shir-o-khorshid, a must-have emblem of Iran... YES with a straight sword!... hehe... The big Allah with a red lines through it represents our total and complete rejection of Islam and Arabs. And of course derafshe kaviani goes without saying. This one is not just the derafsh but it also has the "Archangel of Secularism" symbol right on top of it. The last graphic on the left is a map of the great Persian Empire under the Achamenids. We're using this particular version of it because it includes Europe. This way all the children can see that our glory can match theirs! All Europeans see how close we really are. Just like them, we were great rulers and masters of the Universe.

The committee shares a laugh, and then members go back to their stations to start the hard work. Over the next 12 hours, the flag is distributed all over Iran. The team directs thousands of activists on the ground mostly through email, blogs and twitter. Singsing coordinates an eBay purchase of thousands of tons of Caviar arranges DHL to drop ship them in major cities, for young kids to distribute to the crowd of protesters leading to many a memorable Time Magazine cover photo.

During the Fall of 2009, the last pockets of the regime resistence falls. There were many casualties and deaths, which was all acceptable to the revolutionaries. During the constant daily protests and chaos, all neighboring countries and European/American governments were rooting for the revolution to succeed. Not one of them saught to exploit the situation for their own benefit because they knew what would happen to them later, if they did. The Aryans are in charge now, no more fooling around!

Only the British government was on the side of the (former) IRI. Finally after months of struggle the Ayatollah Khamenei was given refuge in the British embassy and was secretly smuggled out of Iran. He now lives in Bristol as a government pigeon feeder.

The Caviar Revolution succeeded.

The Caviar Republic

When the CCR held their last press conference from the premises of the Milk Cafe in Paris, the full extent of their brilliance became clear. They were treated as heros by the world community and people clapped for them wherever they went. But one reporter pressed on for the details at the conference.

reporter: How did you guys know the regime would fall if only 47% people come to the polls?

CCR member: Because, 47% is less than 50% and no dictator can stay in power with those low approval ratings. This became obvious with this act.

reporter: So what about all the other elections when much higher numbers went to the polls?

CCR member: Those numbers are faked. Only about 4-5% of people participate in electoins in Iran, the rest are made up numbers and Pakistani shiites who are bussed in from the border

reporter: How did you know this? What is the source of these claims

CCR member: I can tell you understand nothing from the region. We are real Iranians! We understand these things!! It's obvious when things like this happen, we are able to tell with great percision, because we just know.

reporter: OK, but how could you be sure they wouldn't just fake these numbers too. I mean, how can you rely on the regime to provide you with correct turnout numbers which were so crucial for your boycott?

CCR member: Because, some numbers are believable. The regime tends to only make up numbers in such a way as to help the opposition arguments. For example when the young people voted for Khatami in overwhelming numbers in 1997 those results were correct because Khatami's election was a protest against the system. But later when it became clear that he was just another regime decoy, the numbers from the 1997 elections were faked.

reporter: I don't understand, was it faked or was it real numbers?

CCR member: It depends. They are real, if they can be used against the regime.

At this point, the confused reporter was removed from the room by one of the CCR staff members.

The Iranian masses were grateful for the brilliance and leadership of the CCR members, and a great many wished for them to come to Iran themslevs. But none of the committee members went back to Iran permenantly. Most continued their summer visits as tourists. When asked in online forums why they were not coming home to help direct Iran's new revolution, they cited business interests, difficulty in getting time off and tenure-track concerns. Elham once wrote: "we don't want to be the King of Iran, Iran already has a King. We just wanted to bring our expert strategy of freedom to the masses."

------------------
To be continued in historical epilogue....

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Fouzul Bashi

نمی‌خوام فضولی کنم ها...

Fouzul Bashi


نمی‌خوام فضولی کنم ها...

ولی‌ میگم چطوریه که شما هی‌ اسم عوض میکنی‌ و بطور ناشناس برای این بابا کامنت میگذاری بعدش بهش میگی‌ اون وقتشو حروم نکنه؟

برو دنباله کار و زندگیت عمو.... که دیگه گندش را دراوردی

 


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PinoQ caught on the act!

by Anonymous444 (not verified) on

I wonder how many times PinoQ has felt like this guy in the picture?

//img2.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/021230/182...

This is what happens to the PinoQ's of the world when they lie often:
//uk.video.yahoo.com/watch/4705295/12572868


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Q

by Anonymous wonderer (not verified) on

Q, this was a well written piece (as far as grammar, not creativity), but honestly, how much time did you spend writing this non-sense? I noticed there was a part one too.

Did you spend an entire good day to write these B.S.? For what? For entertaining at most a dozen readers, the majority of which didn't even bother to read the whole thing?

What about having spent that day earning some money and use that money to help a poor soul for instance?

Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but this goes a long way to describe the type of useless person you must be.


SamSamIIII

هه هه , چيه ؟ اينجا پارتی عرب و امتی ها ست

SamSamIIII


اين که نشد , نه حلوايی نه فلافل و ...جاشه يکی دو تا از برادران مطرب بشن واون غارنشين القاءده هم جايه خاله سوسکه بلی دانس برقصه تا ساز کوک بشه .والحبيبي من ال شبيبي ...هيه

 

يکی به اون خاله قادصيه بگه

It's not Arian , dimwit but Aryan . Arian is a subset/sect  of christianity .

Cheers ;)!!!

 

//www.iranianidentity.blogspot.com/

//www.youtube.com/user/samsamsia


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Re: Rostam

by Anonymous Future (not verified) on

I am still laughing man! the epilogue (PinoQ's nightmare!) was priceless!

The way you described him with his hand on his chest and puffing and his eyes bulging out after he woke up from his nightmare...!!! I couln't stop laughing!

Thanks dude!


Q

Rostam jan,

by Q on

But on a serious note, even as a freeloader, why waste your time on these stupid projects of yours?

Well, I'm glad you asked the question. Strictly as a freeloader, I have to say the pay is good, the benefits are fabulous, especially in this economy.

haven't you gotten better things to do?

Well, I'm not sure if your chracterization is fully warranted. I mean, for a "stupid" project and waste of time, it sure seems to take up a lot of your own time. I suppose it's natural that my writing evoke a lot of reactions in people of certain mental dispossition, some of whom seem so inpsired as to be spending even more time immitating it for themselves, and doing so without any "freeloader" benefits no less! I admire that kind of dedication. It makes me feel good, and contributes to my comment count. The latter directly affects my paycheck.


MEHRNAZ SHAHABI

Q jaan, thank you!

by MEHRNAZ SHAHABI on

Very witty.  I enjoyed reading it!  nok-e ghalamet bekhoreh tu cheshm-e hasoodaat and the inhouse Arian fascist clown! 


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Rostam!

by AnonymousIranians (not verified) on

LOL! You cracked me up! I loved your story of pinoQ! In fact you should have blogged it so that others can enjoy it too.

I can't wait for part II! PinoQ goes to Therapy sounds good, but what about PinoQ dar baalatar az khatar! In this one, I can see PinoQ bravely battling the evil anti IRI people, and after facing much risk and danger, he finally gets knighted by vaalie faghih himself as their true champion!

Please write a few more PinoQ stories when you get the chance. We really look forward to it!


Rostam

Re: Q

by Rostam on

I am glad you liked my story. Part II is coming up soon. Stay tuned.

But on a serious note, even as a freeloader, why waste your time on these stupid projects of yours? As one of the most distinguished speakers of IRI in this site, haven't you gotten better things to do?

After his devastating nightmare, even PinoQ decided to do spend his time for better things. You should follow suit.

You are a great source of entertainment for many in this site. Keep up the good work.


Mola Nasredeen

"Why is this Kadivar guy so angry Hajagha?" I asked

by Mola Nasredeen on

"Because Obama's middle name is Hossein" Replied Hazrate shotor.

"But why? it's only a name, what do you think he wanted Obama's middle name to be?" I asked.

" Maurice, George, Bill or Mohammad Reza" He replied.


Darius Kadivar

Souri Jaan I know ;0)

by Darius Kadivar on

Actually I did that on purpose for it proves that the Arts Community to which the new Candidates are trying to lure the Votes are in Advance on their own Political Agendas.

And Besides I am in a Bad Mood Lately which makes me Provocatively subversive.

Have A Nice Weekend, I need to go and Rest a little to think things over with some serenity and distance.

Kisses,

D

 


Souri

dear DK

by Souri on

With all due respect, the video that you had posted here, is a   from a concert in Talare-Rudaki in Teheran (2005).

If you look at the female musicians, they are all "mohajabeh"

//www.nme.com/video/id/JAHF4T35LGg/search/%D9...

Of course, there's nothing wrong with this, but just wanted to mention that this clip in this blog, is somehow misplaced.


Darius Kadivar

For Mola Nasredeen 's Information and Education ...

by Darius Kadivar on

Its Called The Marseillaise, not Marseille de French Town. It was written by Claude Joseph Rouget de Lisle

And I usually sing it loud and Clear along with the Qajar Anthem particularly when I come across treacherous IRI apologists and Aspiring Nazi-Hamas sympathizers ...

Never mind its just a Reflex, Nothing personal ...

LOL


Farah Rusta

کیو جون

Farah Rusta


کیو جون سلام

ببین میگم دیگه داره خیلی بی‌ مزه می‌شه. خاویارو وقتی‌ از یخچال دراوردی و درش باز کردی باید هموون روز بخوریش وگرنه روغن میندازه مزه ش میره. شما هم دیگه این قدر زور نزن این مزخرفاتوکه فقط چارتا آدم افسرده مثل خودت  بهش می‌‌خندنو ننویس. یه وقت دیدی جایزه پولیتزر تو بی‌ مزگی را بهت دادنا!

FR (but for you Parviz jaan)


rainbowcountery

جرسهای زر

rainbowcountery


جرسهای زر


Bugger clean your DMAG!

الزرته الیهودی  vice versa  جرس های زر

المترا آل زایون آن بی حیا لهم دیلن تویل و سجافِ لق و چاک کبیر
آن ها را با خنده و رندی باید از حاشیه بیرون کشید و مظهور نمود..
معا هذا ما میخندیم چو این خنده داره که گداهای دزد و بیشرم با آن ادابازی ادعای  (خدای)  داراند!

والسلام مای برادیر

Q, Thanks and Keep on sounding the bell …


Anonymous Bugger

حضرات

Anonymous Bugger


 

حضرت قورچی تبليغات ولايی و بانو عليه ايران دوغ يا دروغ , ان زوج مبارکه و  با شراکت تبليغاتی به سبک  دجال  مغالطه و سفسطه کرده شر را نصيب استدلاليون ميکنيد.
 
عاقبتتان به خير


Q

Rostam jan,

by Q on

somehow through your pointed (though not entirely original) narrative, I have developed a keen sense of identity with this character PinoQ.

Like him, I felt hate and anger when reading your comment. I felt like I was being tortured... and that's not at all due to any expressed politial beliefs, just the quality of writing.

Irandokht

I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. Your newly found, recently registered "friend" reminds of none other than Fred. It's as if Fred hired someone to translate his normal awkward gibberish into Persian, but the translator is a hezbollahi!

Afrasiab

We already know there are thousands, maybe 100,000 of regime agents working in Europe, US and online.

Could it be Millions? Your astute observations are giving me hillarious ideas for my next project.


IRANdokht

here we go again Bugger

by IRANdokht on

You see many positive comments here and you detect one female that you single out to bash. 

What's the problem? too scared to pick on the guys? or is it because you think women should not have an opinion?

Khoda shafaa bedeh...

IRANdokht


default

so what Q?

by afrasiab (not verified) on

what do you think you have accomplished now?
We already know there are thousands, maybe 100,000 of regime agents working in Europe, US and online.


Anonymous Bugger

سرکار طيبه مکرمه ايرن دخت

Anonymous Bugger


 

ان فاضله محترمه که در صفحه ای ديگر عنان از صبر انغطاع داده و با الفاظی مستحجن ورکيک   اين حقير را مخاطبه کرده در حيث دو قرون انتقاد از انصار نظام فسق و جور و قتل  , القضا چه في هذه اللحظه از ته اثني اشعر  مضحکه و سخره ميکنيد طيفی عظيم از مخالفان رژيم قتال و ضد شريعت و بشری را از باب اراجيف حضرت کيو قورچی رسمی اين نظام شٌر و فساد را .بواقع مسخر کردن يک مشت مظلوم جفا ديده که هزاران پدر و مادر بهر عداوت اين ولايت قتال داده اند و مخالفان ظلمند چه توجيهی دارد .  بعد از مرور دو سه نامه واصل شده در وجح سابقه مواضع جناب عالي بر من حادث شد که عقلای اين سايت وزين  صد البته درجه حب النظام جناب عالی را در حيث رژيم ولايی  مد نظر و رصد داشته و سابقه مواضع منافقانه ان طاهره مرکب زبان را در حافظه دارند . ولی بعضاّ قليلی صداقت در عمل و اکراه در حمايت از ظالمان قتل و جور مشاراعليه را در يوم قيامت و پل سراط از معصييت معاونت در  ظلم بر ملت مظلوم ايران و ال نبی و مومنون راستين بيمه خواهد کرد . اگرچه بانويه محترمه از تشريک مساعی ابا دارد و الکذا خود را عاقله کل داند ولی وظيفه اين حقير است که امر به معروف کرده و ايشان را نصيحت در باب نهی در اصراف در نفاق و تظاهرو سخره مظلومان که صفت ناصادقون است . انا لالله و انا عليه راجعون .پند گيريد ,توبه جذم کرده و مدافعه از ظالمان و قتالان نکنيد .

ولسلام و توفيق هدايت


Rostam

Story of PinoQ,a fictitious character with deep rooted complexes

by Rostam on

Disclaimer: The names used in this story are fictitious and bear no resemblance to any real life people, dead or alive. The author is not responsible for you imagination.

Once upon a time, there was a bald man called Qiouyou. People used to call him PinoQ because he had a huge nose and lied a lot.

PinoQ hates. Don't ask me what he hates, he just does. He likes hating. He drools hate. Oh, and he has this special hatred towards monarchists.

One could ask, did he ever fantasize turning in a few of these monarchists during the early days of the revolution? Did he grind his teeth in pleasure with a devilish smile, each time he watched the photos of the bullet riddled former regime officers?

We will never know if he did. We only know that he hated monarchists, and know not much more.

Today, PinoQ is an Eyranian.com contributor. He hates the fact that in that site, people like Caviar can show up and post pictures and other materials on the Royal family. This disgusts him.

But he has to watch these photos, and be tortured by them, day after day after day.

The other day, while praying, his mind began obsessing on this issue. He got so angry that he felt his praying was nullified. This time, he tried hard to control himself, he got done with the praying and then sat down and thought:

"Oh, how I wish Eyeranian.com was Iran. I would turn in this miserable of a man, Caviar, to the authorities. Make him pay for what he is. I hate him. Oh god, how I hate him and what he stands for."

He continued with his self conversation and added:

"But he lives in Europe! I can't snitch on him while he lives there!" Coincidently, he remembered Bakhtiar who also lived in Europe. "That damn Bakhtiar and Farokhzad....! I hate them all!" he angrily said to himself. 

He then smiled devilishly while remembering the fate of these two men.

He continued: "I got sidetracked again! Where was I? Oh, yes, this misery called Caviar lives in Europe and I can't teach him a lesson..."

He fantasized the lesson in his mind and enjoyed it.

"Let's get real! I live in the US! No way I can pull this!" He then thought how else is it possible to satiate his lustful hate towards Caviar.

"I know! I am going to ridicule him in public! I am going to put him down and make him suffer in public! I have to make him suffer! IN PUBLIC!"

He then got to his desk and began to write "The Caviar revolution". "That'll teach him some!", he whispered.

"But wait! Should I invest my time for this? This may take a good 12 hours of my time!"

Then he remembered that he is a "freelance" writer, that he has a lot of free time and that he has no worries for his expenses.

"Why not?", he said to himself." I NEED this guy to suffer somehow! IN PUBLIC!"

He went on and spent those 12 hours and wrote a well written story. He spent another couple of hours checking for spelling and grammar and editing. 

He then posted the story and eagerly waited for readers to pat him on his back and to further ridicule Caviar. "Let it be a thorn in his eyes, let him suffer, just as he makes me suffer everyday with those royal photos!", he said to himself.

Little PinoQ knew that at the end of the day, and after spending all that precious time, it will be he himself that will be ridiculed by the readers.

Even his brehrtens would silently ask, as to not offend him, "What the hell is PinoQ doing with his time? We are all freeloaders here, but even then, we have better things to do with our time than THIS!"

Epilogue:

The night he posted his Caviar story, after going to bed, PinoQ proudly basked at his masterpiece, the best he has ever mustered. He then fell asleep.

After a few hours, he woke up from a nightmare, puffing and gasping for air with his mouth wide open, his hand on his chest and his eyes bulging out. He shook his head a few times in disgust and remembered his horrible terrible nightmare, in which Caviar had become King and PinoQ had become his servant, cleaning and ironing King Caviar's Royal clothes!

His days have not been the same ever since that nightmare!

To be continued in part II (PinoQ goes to therapy)...


Mola Nasredeen

And they drove to Louis the 16th Mosalium

by Mola Nasredeen on

and sang "La Marseille" while sipping on their Don Perion wine and thinking about the next revolution while the re-runs of Pahlavi's family was being projected on a huge screen.


desideratum.anthropomorphized anonymous000

Bravo, Q!

by desideratum.anthropomorph... on

This is absolutely witty and smart; thank you! The reporter encounter is the jewel in the crown!

 

Can I have a humble input -more like a big request? Could you focus on the pronoun 'we' in the next episode (see how the commander(s)-in-chief of the revolution use(s) 'we' will do this, be that, won't do this, or be that, all the time?)  Also, the elitism of activists versus the masses?  Also, some satirical speculation about their level of education as well as their mentors (if any) would be fun to read!  I mean there must be a difference between the cosmopolitan ones  and the ones living in the middle of nowhere, no? --or is there?  If anyone can write that it's you :)

 

 


default

Quick - I want to read the next chapter

by SmartAss (not verified) on

I haven't had a good laugh like this for a long time. Thank you so much, Q! I hope to see the rest soon. Can't wait to see how things turn around in Iran after the glorious revolution. Will everybody get a Mercedes, or will some people have to live with only a lousy BMW?


Daryush

Iran became a free country

by Daryush on

When Pahlevan Panbeh, Laleh Gillani wrote two more articles on Iranian.com and toppled the regime. lol

Sorry geer dadam beh laleh, she just cracks me up.


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hillarious!

by Anonymous8 (not verified) on

best part:

"This one is not just the derafsh but it also has the "Archangel of Secularism" symbol right on top of it."


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Q

by NoThanQ (not verified) on

For someone who supports one of the cruelest regime's on earth who has executed thousands by shooting, stoning , torture and hanging.

For someone who supports one of the cruelest regime's on earth who constantly violates the rights of women, minorities, children, workers and students.

(all documented by the way)

For someone who supports so much atrocity against his own Persian sepaking countrymen:

Your English is good.


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Good satire

by Kurush (not verified) on

I however take exception to the use of the word Caviar. I think it is rather unfortunate, given the fact that many of the instigators of the Caviar Revolutions are our beloved sisters. The etymology of the word 'caviar' is from the stem/root khaye, which, as you know, in our dear Farsi, means 'testicles'. Caviar== kaaye+dar, i.e. the one who has balls. Now given the fact that females do not have 'testicles', would not re-naming of the longed-for revolution be more condusive to the pluralistic goals of the revolution? Or, is it all too late? Is the naming of the imminent glorious revolution as inexorably fixed as the glorious revolution itself? I am surpirzed some of our sisters-activists-inststigatos, given their staunch feminist stance, have not as yet objected to this male chauvinist twist in naming the glorious revolution. Maybe it was unintended in these heady days when more important things are at stake. I hope I have not opened pandora's box: the last thing we need is an infighting over the naming of the revolution itself.


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Our very own Jon Stewart

by Anonymous23232 (not verified) on

Q, you should open up an Iranian daily show channel. ;)


IRANdokht

انقلاب و انقلابیون تخم ماهی‌

IRANdokht


Thanks for the laughs Q

I loved the little details like the British flag, President allowed to join the meeting, the internet café headquarters (even after victory), JJ and the fake accounts, singsing (LOL)... needless to say I chuckled quite a few times. The paragraph at the end of this chapter was just priceless.

btw Your caviar tin on the flag looks suspiciously like the Jesus fish.

DK jan 

you've got to admit, this is a very witty satire. Keep on smiling my friend ;-)

I can't wait to read the next episode :o)

IRANdokht