CANADA

Dear Anahid.

OK.  Thank you for your permission:) and thank you Bahmani for providing such a ground to exchange ideas. 

I give up comments

May be you and dear VPK should exchange comments here.

Dear Anahid.

I really like you sense of humor.   I liked your comments in

"manly man, ha? ...Any way".  I am glad that you are not the person who should believe me.

What were you talking about?  Do you really believe that the masturbation is a sex?  Really? Oh, Gosh.  I have to count them again:)

Dear comments

I was not talking about 3 some. I said some Iranian men are jealous and although some western men are jealous too but more Iranian men are jealous. I have no idea how from my comment, you came to yours. And you wrote about manly man, ha? ...Any way.

Dear Anahid.

I really don't know much about the subject that you commented.  I never been with men as a woman because I am a manly man.  I just remembered a TV show in an Iranian channel, which was about 3 some.  I heard couple of phone calls that both men and women complaining about their spouse that they were not comfortable with 3 some.

How jealous are they?  I have to remember to arrange a roze khooni for them when I travelled Iran asking all praying for them to become less jealous:)

VPK

Yes, I agree.  As I mentioned I am 100% in the favor of commited relationships.  However, I think being upfront in sexual relationship is totally different from being upfront in other subject including finance.

I also agree with the second subject.  It's really hard and I am not even able to explain what I have gone through in that regard:)  I have to remember to pray for all men and women who are going through probably tonight.  I am glad that I know we are not allowed to do it during the day.  I heard that people say it becomes less enjoyable when one becomes older.  I object, and willing to sacrifice mine to prove:)

comments

I am a strong advocate of privacy in general. But not in personal relationships. To me the only acceptable partner is one who is 100% upfront. I don't like games. If they hide things then it is probably going to fail anyway.

The sooner a bad relationship fails the less pain you go through. I don't know about the masturbation business that is too hard :-) But in general at least we should be honest with our expectation and willingness. If they do not match then do not bother.

Dear comments

If I understand your first paragraph, you seem to be equating a woman' s fantasy with a man actual having sex. These are not the same.

For the second part, I think Iranian guys are more jealous on the average than guys who were raised in western countries. Again, I say on the average. Basically, some Iranian guys; given opportunity, would sleep around or at least not be just committed to one woman, but expect their significant others not to do the same. This some happens to be a bigger sum than the some in western guys. Western guys cheat too but then they would be more understanding if the partner cheated too.

Anahid: you funny girl.

I am not in the favor of telling our partner.  But, I may separate from my partner if the partner was caught because I would doubted about his stupidity and undiplomacy!

Are we going to call "that" Jealousy:)  You are so funny.  I can't stop laughing.  For example, I am so jealous of you since you masturbated for Y's wife while I have not done that yet :)  I call it how "prompt" and vibrant Mr/Mrs Y is!  What has to do be with being an Iranian?  Do you think other men do not care about their partners?  Do they leave them be omide khoda?: :) 

I am not in favor of telling our partners

About our fantasies, especially if our partner is an Iranian guy. Could you imagine telling an Iranian guy that you fantasized about having sex with his friend. He would die from jealousy.

VPK

That's true, but it is still very complicated. 

Let's see the subject in a different way.  Should we let our partners know about our fantacies or not?  Should I tell my partner how arousing is our neighbor to me.  Or, should I tell my partner that I masturbated for a person that I just saw in the gym?  Where is the fine line for cheating?  Is there a line between sex and love?  If your partner didn't like to live with you, then the partner should have told you.  If your partner stayed with you, then, why did the partner live with you?  Was the partner jobless and just looking for a shelter, or your partner wanted to live with you because the partner loved you, but was not able to control herself?

comments

I want to know if someone I am with is also with others. If so then I do not want them. It is my right as a person and a precondition. When people get involved they give up their privacy.

I do not care if my friends or employees are involved with multiple partners. But I do care if my partner has others. The main thing is the psychological one but there are health matters.

I found the hard way my ex wife was involved with others. Then it was a matter of how fast to get the divorce. No way I would stay with someone who is involved with another person.

VKP

I agree with you.  I am so pro of being commited to one's partner, and I am that person myself, only, because I am not able to handle non-commited relationship pscychologically.  Serious.

People are different and relationships are more complicated that we imagine.  I disagree that they have to let their other partners know as long as health issues are not involved.  I like this article:

//www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/06/13/anthony-weiner-s-holier-than-thou-critics-should-show-humility-compassion.html

Comments

I do not think having multiple partners is bad. Just not the thing for me. So I hope that sets it straight. I think Whore means someone who gives ses for money. What dictionary says does not matter as much as what people think. 

If you want multiple partners then you should let them all know about it. Because it is only fair they know what is going on.

VKP

I indicated at the end of my comment that I didn't say what was wrong or right.  Though you made me to check the word that I am so familiar with it in the dictionary:)

Whore: "A person considered sexually promiscuous."

Promiscuous: "(of a person) Having many sexual relationships"

I think you found your answer in here.  You thought whore was a bad thing, but you didn't think having multiple parners was bad.  Bad, bad, bad (from horrible bosses, 2011).

You made me force you to watch "Finding Bliss, 2009" in here:)  Please watch if you haven't watched yet.  Also, I don't believe that because of HIV phobia everybody has to stop their sexual activity completely.  All said, when one gets old, he needs a suitable partner.  And partners do not come randomly or by luck.  One has to spend time, effort and a large amount of energy to find a right partner.  He has to find a combination of love / sex or whatever sound more important. 

Comments

Going with multiple parters does not make one a whore. I disapprove of it but that is just me. I do not judge others for their sexual behavior. I would never be with someone who goes with multiple partners.

But it is a PERSONAL choice. Who am I to tell another person who to sleep with. On the other hand I oppose getting involved with married or people in a relationship. If a relationship is in trouble let it work itself out without interference.

My ex got involved with a guy who knew she is married.Once i knew what is going on I could not wait until the divorce was done. One day when my kids are grown I will take them to meet the SOB and tell him to his face what they think of him. I will do it publicly. He is a professor. I will wait until he is giving a lecture then have my kids stand up and bring up the issue in front of everyone. I want to SOB to sweat and be embarrassed in front of all his adoring students.

Gay

Being gay is normal for many people; nothing is wrong with it. But ruining a marriage is not.  If you are gay then find a "free" and available person. Do not get involved with a married person. Some goes for non gay people.

To comments

You know i lived 2 years with and HIV+ guy in 1994 and i also did as volonteer safe sex campaign in muslim areas in the country where i lived in Europe.
Saying that many HIV have mental problems is not true.

I think you must have problem with sex. Is still a big taboo for you. You project your own problem on other people.

Did you ever consult a shrink ?  

To dear zigourat.

OK. If you were not a prostitute, you were a whore, which means changing your partner once a week.  Or, sleep with other randomly.  Since we call both Jendeh I didn't think it matters.  Remember:

(a) When you go with a married man in hoping to make him your partner you planed to distroy his life in advance.  Do you want to be that person destroying people's life? (b) Most married man in here made their choices.  So they like to play with.  That's it.  They are not going to be your partner.

I don't say what's wrong, and what's not.  Some people love to have multiple partners.  I never had Iranians TV, and I have been volunteering working with HIV people, and it happened that association located nearby to gay communities, and they accept their clients from their own location.

I didn't judge you.  I gave you some information based on your comment.  If you really like to sleep over everyday and have multiple partners, you should go to bath houses.  But, remember 1 out of 7 of them are HIV + (based on their own website), and many of them have mental problems.  If you go to their website it say: make sure you like to come to this place since you are not going to find your love in here.

Any way, watch those movies.  Start from first one, then second and then third.  You will find so much in them everytime that you watch them.

“A man’s kiss is his signature.” — Mae West

LOVE is LOVE

Sad to say I missed the festivities this year  :(((

annnnnnnnd why are we arguing over a little brotherly (or sisterly) love when Khomeini's has clearly indicated you mustn't go to such extremes....all you have to do is walk two doors down and kindly ask permission to fcuk your neighbours chicken.....but not his rooster ok? .....that ish would be way gay!!

@ comments

Wouah what are you saying ???????? Who told you i'm prostitute ? Yes as everybody we have some places to cruise and i never sleep for money. And yes sometimes I meet married man but i never force them to sleep with me.

I don't know where do you live but i can say you are even more strict than ayatollahs. If you live in US i can say you are well brain washed by televangelist.

How dare you to judge me ? 

Zigourat #2

I think I was harsh in my previous comment to you.  It was not your fault that you had have an underground life in Iran.  Why don't you start to have some fun and educate yourself by watching the following movies again?

Zigourat

I have a message for you too.  Because your life in Iran was an underground life it didn't mean that you could work as a prostitute and destroy the life of married men. 

I am sorry that the underground life in Iran could train Iranian gays as prostitue and abnormal gays.  Why? because when the life becomes underground it creates the best possible place for criminals and rapist.  Can you ask yourself why being passive or active is so important to you?!  Please if you don't live in Iran try to communicate with gay people who are commited.  The gays who know what life is.  Those who are not prostitute and respect the life of heterosexuals.  Those who have dignity and don't encourage changing their partner more than the number of times they change their clothing per week.  That would be great for your English too since you don't get the comments well. 

HHH: please answer my last question.

Why were you talking about sheep and goat?  Please think, think and think.......If you couldn't answer the question, please ask your parents, and I am sure they have the answer for you.  They would answer that they were sorry that they taught that you could put your penis in any holes.  Is this the kid or parent you were talking about?  This is your understaing from sex?  Isn't it?  Don't you feel threaten when one talks about sex. 

What's you understanding from life and love?  I know you know nothing and you will never ever know what they are.  Am I responsible to teach you life or love in here?  Am I your father?! 

I am not homosexual, but I am not idiot either.

An iranian gay testimony

As an iranian gay who lived in Iran it's sad to read such crap against us. Yes we have gay in Iran and like every where else in the world is 8-10 % of the population. Well yes of course i had sex with lots of married men who cheated on their wives with boys and most of married men were passive, guest why ? because they are so repressed than when they have sex with boys they need to be fucked. I know also some married guys beating their wife because they don't live their natural behaviour.

I think Ali is not serious and what he wrote is iranian humour but HHH is serious and i wonder if he never meet an outed Iranian gay. He has lots of prejudice against people like me. In my life, i have 45 years old and i'm outed since 19 years old (and yes while i was in Iran), i can say than most of homophobia coming from ignorance or men who are not sure about their own sexual identity. 

Unfortunately media show mostly feminin gays, again is easier to stereotype this kind of behaviour with showing guys who everybody can guess their sexual identity. This is the same when western medias show all Iranian as fanatic people. In Iran gays that I meet were for 90% like everybody else. 

I have no grief against people like HHH because his feeling is coming from ignorance. 

Hope one day all Iranians could live together in our country with respect and without prejudice.

I am with triple H too.

 It's the fat Gays whom I particulaly find offensive. I'd like the world to be filled with normal people, triple H like people :)  

"Personal business must yield to collective interest."

I am with HHH

That's right.

That's disgusting.

We can't have that sh*t in  public.

We should ban gays from appearing in the public .After all, "gays actions in public denies the normal people ( like me and HHH) and their children from a healthy, natural environment to live in and grow up."

And while we are at it, please make people cover up their disgusting tattoos, too. I don't want my kid see the picture of some big boob woman on your neck or belly!

Oh, and then, don't even get me started on fat people, with their big gut hanging out. That's disgusting!

And what's up with women with short hair, and men with long hair? That ain't natural! That ain't healthy! What has the world been coming to??  I say appoint a special police, and arrest or fine these disruptive individuals. Sick of it!

And what the hell is wrong with people having animals?? You wanna live with animals, go live in a jungle! Why am I exposed to your stinking cat or annoying dog?? Disgusting!

I got a few more grievances about the handicap, people who speak 'foreign' in America, too, but unless I get some support around here, I won't go there yet.

 Get rid of all these groups and behaviors, and we all can finally live in a "healthy, natural environment".

HHH the only disgusting thing in here is your shitte attitude

The epi-center of all gay relationships and activities in Iran are the religious seminaries, that you ultimately end up defending.  How do you translate hypocrisy in Persian? Monafegh? The last thing anyone in 21st century needs is your insecure, obtuse 'definition' of freedom, and don't you ever forget:

they're gay, they're here to stay.

Come on man, admit it, even you yourself are gay sometimes during the week, especially when you're happy and smile. On the serious side, all  human beings are bi-sexual, some are even try-sexual. Gender is only a social construct. As Woody Allen says : it's a complicated thing. Just mind your own bussines.

Disgusting

Ahmadinejad, the moron, never said "We have no gays in Iran" what he said was "In Iran we have no gay(issue) as you do in America" which is 100% true, and we've never had a gay-issue because being gay is socially unaccepted behavior so people avoid it. After 79 revolution many Iranian men have become homosexual because extreme difficulty in opposite sex relationship in public. Other than the 2% natural-born people with genetic opposite-sex tendencies the rest of gays are just products of the sick environment where it's "cool" to be a lesbian or gay or to support gay causes. Say OK to one perversion and next they'd want to marry sheep and goats and then even worse.

This is not freedom. Freedom ends where one's action denies others of their freedom and gays actions in public denies the normal people and their children from a healthy, natural environment to live in and grow up.