Shazde Asdola Mirza's blog

The Problem with Problem-Solvers

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sat, 01 Dec 2012 21:41:05 +0000

Bacteria in a Petri dish with some food and water would create the above growth-decay (g-d) curve. This type of g-d cycle and its key phases are common to all life forms, small and big. Animals and humans follow the same cycles, even higher “beings” such as stock markets and civilizations.

I am sorry, but we may be dead.

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Fri, 23 Nov 2012 22:31:42 +0000

I wasn’t sure how to break the news, until here came the self-obituary of a fellow writer – so now you know.

Who has killed the most Israeli?

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 16:28:40 +0000

Familiarity Breeds Contempt

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Thu, 08 Nov 2012 13:31:25 +0000

That is the main reason behind so many wife-husband fights: why Moses was ridiculed by his wife; why Ayesha scorned Mohammad. Why so many close friends turn into sworn enemies. Why absolute rulers turn into hateful tyrants … but then I digress again.

That is also the number 1 reason behind our Iranian.Com fights!

مرگ بر ما که گفتیم "مرگ بر شاه"

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sat, 27 Oct 2012 19:48:03 +0000

شاه و پدرش سر جمع ۵ هزار نفر رو تو ۵۰ سال سلطنت کشتند، ولی‌ انقلاب موجب مرگ ۵۵۰ هزار شد.

شاه و پدرش و همه فک و فامیلش ۷ میلیارد دلار دزدیدند، ولی‌ خامنه‌ای و مجتبی رسیده‌اند به ۷۰ میلیارد.

God is a lady … Satan is a guy

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Mon, 02 Jul 2012 12:54:49 +0000

This is going to be the title of my thesis … towards an Independent Scholar degree in sociology!

Empirical findings:

God gives life to other beings (feminine) … Satan enjoys killing other creatures.

God likes nice gardens and pretty things … Satan likes fire, fighting and fright.

God sees something nice in everything … Satan hates everyone, even himself!

God has a lot of dos and don’ts … Satan prefers decadence.

God never forgets … Satan hardly remembers!

Pahlavi, Rajavi, Commies … or reform-minded lady leader

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sat, 23 Jun 2012 22:41:41 +0000

Most of the “powerful” diaspora dissident groups, including the Pahlavi, Rajavi and Communists have not much appeal in Iran (each in the order of 1%). But unfortunately, they can distract people from fighting IRI; and even worse be used by IRI as the Boogeyman, to scare people from their struggle for democracy, and to label all the opposition under the unappealing titles of "Shahi, Monafegh and Commonist".

The Great Middle Eastern Convergence: Semi-Democratic Semi-Islamic Republics

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Mon, 18 Jun 2012 03:26:25 +0000

Only a blind man in sunglasses can’t see the Great Convergence that’s happening all over the Middle East.

No, it is not towards monarchy, with all the bells and whistles of kings and queens in funny costumes.

در سیاست، پرونده سفید وجود ندارد

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sun, 10 Jun 2012 02:39:40 +0000

در سیاست پرونده سفید وجود ندارد ... بخصوص در سیاست ایران.

یکی‌ پرونده‌اش سیاه است، یکی‌ سرخ و دیگری قهوه‌ای ... پرونده سفید میخواهید، وارد سیاست ایران نشوید!

گذشته‌ها گذشته. محبوس در تاریخ ماندن و غصه خوردن، عمر نوح میخواهد و گنج قارون.

Islam, Chelokabab and Wet T-Shirt

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sat, 02 Jun 2012 02:59:53 +0000

During a three-night stay in Vancouver, I was invited to a condo party. My friend’s posh condo was walking distance from the hotel … I was alone, and he was trying to pay off prior dinners at our place.

داستان مهدی (غایب)

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sat, 19 May 2012 01:18:09 +0000

حکایت شیعه، داستان دو چیز است: پول و قدرت!

پس از مرگ امام دهم (نقی‌)، که در کار کسب خمس و زکات و سهم آقا بسیار کار آمد بود؛ بین طرفداران دو پسر او (حسن و جعفر) جنگ و دعوا می‌‌شود … بر سر پول و قدرت.

۱۲ امام شیعه را تعریف کرده ... از آنان تمجید کنید

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sat, 12 May 2012 18:36:27 +0000

با توجه به بالا گرفتن علاقه و عشق عمومی جهت شناخت امامان (بخصوص نقی‌ جان)، لیست مختصری را لبخند زنان تهیه دیده‌ام ... باشد که بخوانید و بخندید.

۱- علي بن أبي طالب ملقب به أبو الحسن ... معروف به ابولی

تحصیلات: زیر صفر

تجربه: آدمکشی، تجاوز و گردن زدن اسیران

Rocky Mountain Oysters

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Fri, 04 May 2012 22:39:27 +0000

Denver reminds me of the Tehran of my youth. I like the West End and enjoy being close to mountains. They inspire us of the higher ideals in life, and perhaps even of higher beings. After all, the colorful Greek gods of mythology lived up in the mountains, unlike the intolerant Semitic allahs.

Happiest Place on Earth … my blistered foot

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Tue, 01 May 2012 21:41:28 +0000

I dislike most things Disney, as fake and fluff; but kids make some sacrifices necessary. They advertise that Disney World is in Orlando, but it is at least an hour away in the nowhere land. Well, I guess some credit should go to the Walt and Company for draining a swath of swamp land, and building a bunch of theme parks on it … but they won’t get that credit from this grump.

نامه آیت‌الله عظما امام خامنه‌ای به برک حسین اوباما، جهت تجدید مذاکرات هسته‌ای

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 22:57:37 +0000

حسین جان: من به قربان نگاهت

فدای دست و پا‌های سیاهت

حسین جان: دست ماهت را ببوسم

برایت روز و شب اسپند سوزم

حسین جان: اول و آخر تویی، تو

به قلب پیر من مرهم تویی، تو

حسین جان: با تریتا مهربان باش

Israel Loves Iran … fecked

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 02:42:02 +0000

It is the classic David-and-Goliath story, all over again. Except in this case, instead of killing him, the smart and nimble David is fecking the bejesus out of the big and ugly barbarian.

In Tehran, everyone is wondering why Israel would want to bomb the atomic sites? Why not the Bayt of Rahbar? Why not the Sepah headquarters? Well, the answer is simple: “Israel loves Iran” … and they are showing their affection by fecking it up and down, through and true … instead of the crude and simple bombing.

تخمم یخ زد

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 03:45:54 +0000

زنگ زدم تورنتو، فرمودند که ۲۰ درجه بالای صفره. ایمیل اومد از وینی پگ، که اونجا هم ۱۶ درجه سانتیگراده. فقط تخم ما بود که تو تهرون مثل دنبلان فریزری یخ زد!

War and Peace … or Love

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 22:57:45 +0000

Chimpanzees are the closest animal to us. In the typical chimp groups, there are 2 females for each male, because the males are constantly busy fighting one another and/or the neighboring chimps.

مناظره خامنه‌ای با نتنیاهو

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 16:42:51 +0000

پرده بالا میاید ... سمت چپ کشور کوچک ولی‌ آباد اسرائیل - سمت راست کشور بزرگ ولی‌ مغشوش ایران

خامنه‌ای: مرگ بر اسرائیل

نتنیاهو: خفه ... حمله می‌کنیم ها

خ: موشک داریم، ایشّک داریم

ن: بمب اتم داریم

خ: مونم داریم از اون اتوما میسازیم

ن: صدام هم داشت از اونا می‌ساخت

Why Women Have Sex?

Shazde Asdola Mirza — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 23:43:55 +0000

Men have sex for only one reason … pleasure. But it seems that women's sexual motivations are vastly complex, with no single reason fully dominating the others.