Episode 10: Roya

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Hajiagha: Allo? Hamid joon? hov-r-u?

Hamid: I’m ok Haji what’s up with you?

Hajiagha: I'm bored and need a wife my friend!

Hamid: Bubba still no wife? Come on, let’s go to Omid’s concert [1] this Saturday and we’ll hook you up with someone.

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Omid’s concert [2]

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Hamid: Haji see those 2, the blonde and redhead?

Hajiagha: Which blonde?

Hamid: The highlighted one bubba. Don’t nit pick now.

Hajiagha: Ok what about her?

Hamid: Let’s go talk to them. I’ll start and take the redhead, you take the blonde. Ok?

Hajiagha: The redhead is better. I want that one.

Hamid: Haji this is not a baghalee, you don’t know how to handle the redhead one. She is the sheytoon one. The blonde one is the normal one, she is better for you.

Hajiagha: Ok sag khord.

Hamid: Hello ladies. How you all doing tonight?

Shohreh: Fine.

Hamid: I am Hamid and this is my friend Hajiagha. Didn’t I see you in club Jazz last Friday?

Shohreh: Are you Hamid? You were with someone I know, Mahtab.

Hamid: Yes I am the one. I was going to talk to you but didn’t want to stir up the pot. So let’s go and talk and I’ll explain. Haji will keep your friend company.

Shohreh: Roya joon I’ll be right back. Do you want a glass of Chardonnay?

Roya: Eh. No. Coke is fine. Eh.

Hajiagha: So Roya khanoom hov-r-u?

Roya: Okay I guess.

Hajiagha: So you like Omid?

Roya: Yes.

Hajiagha: do you vant dance?

Roya: Eh. Not right now.

Hajiagha: Okay. I’ll shake as we stand. Hehehe. Shake it. Deremm dawm dawm daram dawm. Do you want children?

Roya: WHAT?

Hajiagha: No children? Ok, what do you do?

Roya: I am a student and work in a Travel Agency.

Hajiagha: Oh? What is your educated?

Roya: Eh. Nursing with emphasis on complex deliveries.

Hajiagha: You mean mama-ee?

Roya: Yes something like that.

Hajiagha: So can you get me discounts on airfares?

Roya: Maybe. Ooh I love this song!

Hajiagha: Do you vant dance?

Roya: Okay let’s go.

Hajiagha: Shake it. Shake it. Head bop. Veshgan! Deereem dumb, dumb, daram dumb.

Roya: Hmmm, you like this song?

Hajiagha: It is ok. I like what you like.

Roya: hehehehehe

Hajiahga: You are a good dancer. Looks like the guys came with the drinks.

Roya: Thanks Shohreh joon.

Hajiagha: Hamid joon damet garm.

Hamid: Haji you looked like an Indian Chief dancing around fire!

Hajiagha: Roya khanoom liked that song so we danced.

Shohreh: Hamid I love this song, you wanta dance?

Hamid: Haji joon hold my drink. Don’t spill it, I paid $12 for it.

Roya: Haji looks like WE ended up holding the drinks!

Hajiagha: hehehehe. Let’s go there and sit and chat.

Roya: Okay. So what do YOU do?

Hajiagha: I am an Architect. Well to be honest with you I was an Architect in Iran and am now doing business in the Mall and I am a painter. So I’ve become a business man.

Roya: How interesting. I draw too but in water color.

Hajiagha: Oh I know watercolor. I should show you my place.

Roya: wow, wait a minute. I am not that kind of a girl.

Hajiagha: what kind? We’re just talking. If you didn’t want to talk why did you come here?

Roya: I was with my friend. You two came and talked to us and now I’m stuck here.

Hajiagha: wow, wait a minute yourself. I am an artist and people like to talk to me.

Roya: I see some people giggling at you when we cross them by. What is up with that?

Hajiagha: Nothing, they don’t like some of my cartoons.

Roya: Can you draw my caricature?

Hajiagha: Yes if you don’t kick me in the shins!

Roya: Ok take it easy. Let’s start over. So are you a decent man or you just want to play around? Like your friend who is a Don Juan?

Hajiagha: No I am not a Don Juan. I am a manly man. So do you want to give me your phone number or email before our friends gets back? Phone may be better. I am still learning English, you know with being Architect in Iran and Businessman here. If I use email, I’ll talk about Canada non-stop and you don’t want that. Sucks Canada!

Roya: What is this about Canada? My number is 867-5309 [3].

Hajiagha: Good very good. Here come our friends.