...you ask your parents to find you a good wife from back home...

What they say( to the girl's parents):

"Our son is very passionate"

What it means:

He has a temper.

What they say:

"He was married to an American woman, but Americans don't understand us"

What it means:

She had to take a restraining order against him, for him to finally leave her alone.

"He is a social drinker"

He has 2 DUI's.

"He has his own business"

He runs a 7-11.

"He is very manly looking"

Unibrow, bald, hairy.

"He does everything for his friends."

He has 4 roommates.

"He's very humble."

"He drives a 85 Dodge."

He's working on his Ph.D."

He just got his GED.

"He's good on computers, always researching the latest developments"

He's always surfing for free porn.

"He's even been published"

He's always on Iranian.com, making idiotic comments... :-)

(Inspired by Niki Tehranchi's 'Language Decoder' )