As a frequent visitor to Iranian, I have developed a meaningful perspective on the type of people who come here. I have learned this by reading the comments left under the articles. Some of the comments are irrelevant. But a substantial set of these comments are very very valuable.

This category of comments is usually left by some of the most important Iranians alive. This is why they have decided to deny the enemy the chance to assassinate them and choose instead to go with the all-deceptive "chicken" avatar most of the time.

For the sake of Iran-zamin, I thank all of them for preserving thmselves and their unique educational perspectives so that future generations of Iranians can benefit from their wisdom! I never get tired of hearing them evaluate those of us not fortunate enough to have ESP and superior sense of justice, or those who are weak in the ability to tell good from bad.

More than myself, I am truly thankful for Iranians living in Iran who are spared the complex task of deciding their own future for themselves. Just like the olden days of the Persian Empire where the good people of the higher fortunes relieved the poor "dahati's" of their public decision burdens, these brave Iranians are the best fit to sense and decide on the future of Iran from here. After all, the smart people in Iran have all escaped, and they frequently inform the rest of us of this terrible exodus. Thus, it is only natural that what is best for the country should be decided by the best and brightest of all Iranians wherever they may reside. Fortunately for me, one of those locations is here in Southern California. That's why I have first hand knowledge of these brave souls even though I am not one of them.

So without further delay, let me reveal to you the profiles of Iranian.com writers who grace this site and honor it with their comments.

Profiles of Iranian.com visitors:

• Islamists: Islamists have a disease. This puts them under the mistaken impression that Islam is a legitimate religion. This disease is hereditary, sexually transmitted through Arab genes which the Islamists' ancestors received through force by the invading Arab armies. Identifying Islamists is simple: Anyone who mentions anything positive about Islam is an Islamist. Every Islamist by definition is an IRI agent because the first "I" in "IRI" stands for "Islam". Therefore every Islamist is also a terrorist. Because their condition is genetic, they can't be reformed. The best thing we can do is to make sure they are either killed or jaild by Western authorities so that they can't hurt anyone or reproduce. Short of that, the truly brave ones among us just expose them through comments.

• Peace Activists: These are lefty liberal naive (useful) idiots. They are so stupid that think the weak have actual "rights" and the strong should not use violence even though they clearly can! Peace activists are for sure IRI agents because IRI is weak and America is strong. Peace Activists refuse to accept the decision made by Iranian exile leaders that Iranians living in Iran should be sacrificed for the greater good. Iranians inside Iran are not very smart (if they were, they would be living in Hollywood), and they could be part of IRI (we don't know, but we can't take a chance). Therefore, their life is not very valuable to us and to the future of Iran. It has been decided that they should serve Iran in this way, as to pave the way for real Iranians to come back and establish the new Persian Empire. Stupid Peace Activists just don't understand this. How to recognize a peace activists? They say they support human rights, but refuse to drop bombs for it! We must expose peace activists so that everyone else can laugh at how weak they are. Examples are: Daniel P, Soraya Ulrich, CASMII, NIAC, Trita Parsi, Hooshang Amirahmadi.

• Reformers: Reformers are brainwashed former Islamists who are so stupid, they think gradual and peaceful reform is possible without bloodshed. They usually fail to convince any real Iranian because real Iranians know that only death to all the Ayatollahs, Clerics, Basijis, Pasdars, Hezbollahis, IRI jailers, administrators, police, firemen, TV reporters, sanitary workers, mortuaries and any other muslims; in addition the banishment for all Mojaheds, Tudei, Communists, Socialists, Anarchists, Statists, Leftists, Democrats and Jebhe-Mellis can solve the problem in Iran.

Reformers are dangerous because sometimes things get better in Iran and gradual change seems possible. But we know this is not acceptable, even if all the change that we want occurrs, it is still unacceptable because real, smart and sophisticated Iranians living in exile will not be the rulers. All reformers are IRI agents. Reformers do not believe in democracy because they encourage voting in elections. Examples: Hoder, Jahanshah Javid, Akbar Ganji, Ahmad Sadri, and Shirin Ebadi.

• Leftists, communists, socialists: They are just like reformists or peace activists. If they are Iranian, they are IRI agents. It's that simple. 

If they are not, they have been paid off by either Khamenei or Fidel Castro. Their ideology has failed (thanks to Reagan) therefore, the only reason they are alive is because they get Iran's oil money. We need not listen to their ideas about Iran or democracy. They are leftists and therefore irrelevant.

• Mojaheds: Mojaheds are a bunch of radical cultists who wear the hejab. These fanatics have killed many innocent Iranians and Americans under the Shah. They have also brainwashed and abused teenagers and made them soldiers for their army. They are internationally recognized terrorists.

But since they hate Mullah's so much, they are OK and we like them. Some of our friends in US and UK governments help them also. We will need them to do some dirty work so therefore we will not say anything bad about them for now. After they serve our purpose, we can kill them too.

• Iranians on Probation: Every Iranian who is not on any of the above categories is on probation. Most writers who are not political on Iranian.com are in this category. All poets are in this category.

We must always make sure they do not belong to any of the above categories before we can consider them human. The number one priority for any new person we encounter is to find out who they are. Either they are on our side or else they are terrorists. The context doesn't matter. Therefore, we must heckle, harrass, redicule, talk about their wives and mothers and ask so many personal questions such that they confess to which category of IRI agents they belong to.

For example if they say something bad about Reza Pahlavi they are terrorists. If they say anything good, even by accident, about any Iranian public official this also means they are terrorists. We must remember: No one can take pride in Iran or anything Iranian under current conditions because this empowers terrorists. Any hint of pride means that the person is an IRI agent and we were right to harrass them about it. The vinication will be worth the work!

• Good Iranians: We are the good Iranians. We care about Iran so much that we take up our burden to cleanse our Persian race from arabs and arab-zadehs. We have moved outside of Iran because Iran is no longer civilized for us, but we continue our work here laying the ground work for our triumphant return.

Do not think just because we don't do anything, that we are not helping Iran. We are doing the most important work for the future of our country: identifying IRI agents, potential agents and pre-agents in America. That is our service to Iran.

For the future, we have various plans for Iran, all of which include killing all the Iranians who cooperated with the arab occupation of our land. It's easy to tell us apart. We are far too valuable to show our face or real information, therefore we bravely hide ourselves so that we may serve Iran better. I'm sure that is what most Iranians demand of us.

One easy way to tell us apart is to pay attention when someone is being accused of being an IRI agent, lackey, enabler, supporter, sympathizer, defender, friend or terrorist. Sometimes the accused is also a suspected muslim or peacenick. Anyway, the person doing the accusing is always a good Iranian. Proof is almost never necessary, real Iranians can tell agents just by looking at them or reading their biographies. We should always trust our superior Persian instincts. Examples of good Iranians: Jamshid, Kadivar, Rashidian, Madadi and many others.

• White friends: White friends are American, British, Israeli or other West Europeans who vocally express their hate against the IRI clearly. These people have no agenda of their own and just want the best for Iran and Iranian nation. They understand that powerful weapons, advanced technology and a good economy are bad for Iran because they legitimize the regime. Like us, they have made the painful moral decision that Iranians in Iran are willing to be sacrificed to get rid of this regime.

They are very good at spotting terrorists online and they have decided to help Iran recover from the cancer of Islam out of the goodness of their hearts. Because they are white Europeans, we will listen to their civilized analysis and vision for the world. We should always trust them even if they don't know much about Iran.

Like us, they understand that the more power you have as a nation, the better your ideas and morals must be. Thus, American and Israeli policies are always selfless, moral and pure and the very best of humanity. This is also the reason they are rich and prosperous.

They just want to help real Iranians get the power that was taken away from them by the arab/Indian invasion of Iran. Deep down, they hate Arabs just as much as we do, so that makes them definitly OK. Examples are: Zion, Programmer Craig.

I will have more on this important issue later for you. Thank You all!