Loss of Faith


Loss of Faith
by Shazde Asdola Mirza

I lived through the 10 years of sanctions, civil war, mass executions, Iraq-Iran invasion and Iran-Iraq counter invasion. Also, I lost friends and family members to that madness and chaos. I was shell-shocked (as you can tell) threatened and detained, attacked and investigated. But after all these many years, when most things can be forgotten and even somewhat forgiven, the one regret I have is the “Loss of Faith”!  

Among the immigrant crowd in America, the one group that I have least liked, are from the ex-communist block. I am sorry to say and generalize, but they come across as the least human (compassionate, helpful and even happy). They seem to me as the most heartlessly conniving, calculating and scheming. Unfortunately, a Russian colleague recently made a very similar comment about us Iranians!  

I guess it takes one to know one! The mass deception called Russian Communism, in that respect, was very similar to our own Iranian Islamism. From cradle to crate, they were indoctrinated that the “Great One” had figured everything out, and the little ones had to blindly follow, obey and suffer. And by the way, if the little ones didn’t … there were cruel and unusual punishments beyond imagination!  

So the “State Sponsored Faith” planned to leave no free space in our hearts and minds for any other faiths. Worst of all, seeing how inhuman and hollow that seemingly “grand ideology” was, most of us became faithless and heartless machines. Seeing how great idealists could turn into great traitors (under torture). How everyone could be raped and beaten into submission. How utterly insignificant and helpless the humanity could be … enslaved by the demons … conquered by the plague.  

Most of us simply relinquished our humanity, just to stay alive. Or perhaps it was the other way around - that our humanity escaped our earthly bodies to seek refuge in a dark lonely corner. Either way, we simply Lost Faith.  

Before throwing stones at me and laughing me out of the site with jeers and hackles, just try to recall when you had Faith … any faith. When you were not a bio-mechanical machine, but a soul. Not lonely, but connected to so many other humans, connected to so many generations past, as well as coming. Connected to the whole existence, to the whole being. When your little drop of humanity was one with a grand ocean, and that grand ocean was the smallest drop of your tears of hope and joy.

For me, that joy can’t return through sex, drinks or drugs. It’s like trying to quench a colossal thirst by sea water. I would like to sue all the demonic “Isms” … for our Loss of Faith.


Recently by Shazde Asdola MirzaCommentsDate
The Problem with Problem-Solvers
Dec 01, 2012
I am sorry, but we may be dead.
Nov 23, 2012
Who has killed the most Israeli?
Nov 17, 2012
more from Shazde Asdola Mirza
Shazde Asdola Mirza

کلاه مخملی

Shazde Asdola Mirza

شما درست میگوید و متاسفانه، در سالهای اخیر بسیار هم بدتر شده!

قدیما، لااقل دل‌ ملت خوش بود که تو ایرون، بچه بزرگ کردن و تربیت کردن بهتر و آسون تره. اما این مادر به خطا‌های حرومزاده، همچین ریدن تو دین و اخلاق مردم، که زهی به جامعه "فاسد غربی". سال پیش و هنگام انتخابات، یه نسیم مختصری از امید و روشن بینی‌ در میان جوانان احساس مثبتی ایجاد کرد. متاسفانه، آنچه از این تابستون دیدم، فقط یه احساس گمگشتگی و سرخوردگی شدیده، که دوباره می‌تونه راه به افسردگی و فساد بیشتر ببره. خدا پشت و پناه شون باشه، که از "خدا فروشان" بجز زجر و شکنجه ندیده ایم.

Shazde Asdola Mirza

"Faith, on automatic pilot"

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

Dears, Monda and Faramarz: you both seem to be the kind of good-hearted and blessed people, whose faith is on auto-pilot ... so you shouldn't be too worried about what is sacred and what is not.

For people like you, "sacred" is often what you do, what you think and what you say. May the FORCE (or at least the farce) be always with you!

Shazde Asdola Mirza

شراب سرخ عزیز: لطفا از دوستان مکدر نباشید

Shazde Asdola Mirza

"هر چه از دوست می‌رسد نیکوست ... ولو اینکه دری وری باشد!"

شما که بزرگید و بزرگوار، ببخشید و ندیده بگیرید. یک عمری، سلاطین و رهبران و روسای دولت ایران، ترتیب ریز و درشت آحاد این مملکت را داده اند. حالا که ریز و درشت تریبون آزادی دارند، از کمی‌ متلک و زخم زبان باکی نیست.

Shazde Asdola Mirza

Mehrban dear: you are very right to say that

by Shazde Asdola Mirza on

... "faith in ourselves and our ability to think" is the most important.

It is the foundation of democracy, human rights and freedom of thought. If we don't have faith in people's ability to understand and determine the right and the good, albeit through some trial and error, how can we give them the freedom of vote, the right to live a personal life and the choice of faith and religion?

Undermining that cornerstone of every true faith, i.e. faith in humanity as an evolving and exploring spirit, has frozen every dogmatic religion and ideology in its fossilized and reactionary form.

Even in the story of Creation, it is the Devil who doubts Humanity and the God who expresses faith in it.

Shazde Asdola Mirza

مجید جان: یه دیونه سنگی‌ تو چاه انداخته و

Shazde Asdola Mirza

... صد تا عاقل مات و مبهوت مونده اند!

سیاست رو با مذهب یا ایدئولژی قاطی‌ کردن، نتیجه‌اش همینه. حالا "دیانت ما عین سیاست ماست" و هر دو ریده مون.


For the sake of ....

by Rea on


Dear Shazdeh, hartbreaking

by Rea on

But life goes on regardless.

Will it make you better knowing that I intend to declare myself Pope Joan this Sunday ? As a matter of faith.  ;o)



Faramarz, been there done that but still!

by Monda on

have trouble keeping Faith, on automatic pilot, the way I used to. It is an arduous task I tell ya! Goodness and Humanity, had never felt as Forgettable to me as Now. Honestly.

(Referring to your "My faith however, rests with the average people that are all around us and do random acts of kindness; the person that adopts an orphan, the volunteers that work at soup kitchens, the guy that gives $5 to a homeless person or the family that goes to an animal shelter and brings home an amputated dog.")


the most heartlessly conniving, calculating and scheming

by Monda on

You spoke my mind, Shazdeh, on the Eastern block mentality. Or could it be tagged in a more global sense? 

Yeah, Not a Thing feels "perpetually" Sacred any more! But I still try my earnest to feel Hope in Faramarz's Sunrise, each and every day, to bring some Warmth and Trust, to my otherwise faithless soul... 



Faith in the Rising Sun

by Faramarz on

Thank you for a beautiful blog and sharing personal experiences Shazde.

I think that having faith in any religion or ideology will ultimately result in great disappointment and bitterness. The history is full of small men in whom people put their trust and at the end they became the victims of grand tragedies. So, I don’t have any illusions about the man-made religions or ideologies.

My faith however, rests with the average people that are all around us and do random acts of kindness; the person that adopts an orphan, the volunteers that work at soup kitchens, the guy that gives $5 to a homeless person or the family that goes to an animal shelter and brings home an amputated dog.

I have always believed that in the coldest and the darkest nights with all the sadness and the despair, one can have faith in the rising sun and a bright and sunshiny day.  


Dear Shazdeh

by Mehrban on

Sometimes I think that more than 2500 years of history and tradition can make one very weak under its weight.  It is easy to rely on what we think is tried and true than to think.  

Maybe with our rich traditions along with our poets that at each step and each turn raise their heads from one past century or other and give us advice in the form of a well known verse or another, we have lost (or never developed) the most important faith of all, faith in our own selves and in our own ability to think things through.  

Red Wine


by Red Wine on

شازده جان چه نیکو نگاشتید و همانا که از پاکان هستید و وطن دوست.

ما که حاضری در کنار شما شمشیر زنیم و دشمن را از ایران پاکمان بیرون کنیم.

بعضی‌ از دوستان تازه گیها کم لطفی‌ میکنند و یارانشان را دست تنها میگذارند و دشمن را شاد ! ما اینگونه با دوست رفتار نکنیم که دل‌ شکستن از آن ما نیست.

آخر هفته خوبی‌ داشته باشید و سلامت !


کلاه مخملی


کلاه مخملی

این برنامه ای که این اخوندا تو ایرون پیاده کردن، متاسفانه اعتقاد و ایمانو تو همه ضعیف کرده .. :)

ما قدیما نمازمونو تو خونه می خوندیم، برا الواتیم با رفقا می رفتیم بیرون - حالا همه چیز تظاهر شده - نمازا بیرون جلو همه بخون - بعدش یواشی عرقا بیار تو خونه با دوستان - واقعا که .. ! :)



Multiple Personality Disorder

I don't have any faith in anything

by Multiple Personality Disorder on

... I swear to God I don't.




دستت درد نکنه شازده که «جانا سخن از............»
یه وقتی بود که حتّی به روماتیسم و سیاتیسم مبتلا شدن هم انگ و برچسب بدنبال داشت.
تو صفحات تاریخ گاهی دهها سال سلطه یک ورق رو بیشتر اشغال نمیکنه ولی اثرات منفی ش نسلها باقی میمونه، و این چیزیه که متأسفانه ما شاهدش هستیم!
مبانی اخلاق و احترام به همنوع و مسالمت و همزیستی و عزّت نفس و میهن دوستی آنچنان سریع داره از قاموس ما حذف میشه که برای جبران هر یک روزش «سالهاصبر بباید پدر پیر فلک را............»