Sepideh over at Sepideh on Iranian.com has been kind enough to come to my defense on the issue of my dislike of smelly feet and love of Merlot.
Let’s get the most important issue out of the way: Apparently I’ve been drinking the wrong wine: Merlot is out and Shiraz is in if your name is not Sally but Sadaf. Phew…thanks Mr. Bahmani…To think that all this time, I wasn’t doing what Iranian women do. (For the record, my comment on well done steak and Merlot was SARCASTIC. I’m a quarter French. My French ancestors would nefrin me if they ever caught me eating a piece of meat mal cuvee!)
Irony of ironies, my decision to record my trials and tribulations as I test out a sex-less period has become a discussion on Iranian women’s sexuality.
But as Sepideh points out, why does the discussion always have to revolve around Iranian women’s sexuality. Why can’t we for once have a frank discussion about Iranian MEN’s sexuality?
So here are some of my stereotypes and questions: What is Iranian men’s obsession with having a thin, un-natural blonde with perfectly manicured hands and a face made up like a china-doll on their arm? There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to beauty but why the hell is there such a uniform notion (for the most part) of what beauty in a woman is? This, while all the while, their own physical appearance couldn’t hold a candle to the women that they are pursuing.
More importantly, why is it that most Iranian men’s idea of flirting is insulting either women in general, being racist, homophobic, or just mean? Who told them that saying nasty things is a form of foreplay? I enjoy a joke more than the next person but really, are you that insecure that to make yourself interesting, all you can do is make fun of other people and laugh at your own un-funny joke?
Also, really, it possibly cannot be a surprise that we Iranians are hairy. We have hair, all over. Get over it! I always thought it so odd that the woman spends hours and hours and dollars and dollars preening herself so she can be found attractive by a man who has a rug on his back. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind the fact that Iranian men are hairy. Just think that courtesy should be returned.
And to bring it all back to sex: Why is it that Iranian men LOVE a blowjob but have a problem with women who like to give them? Makes no sense. I won’t even get into the problems of oral sex here. That needs a blog of its own.
