"The care of human life and happiness

Let me confess

When I participate in a blog, it is usually not with an open mind to learn from other people’s views or contribute to advancing a constructive dialogue.  Usually I write to express MY opinion or scan for those who support MY opinion, or find other entries I can use as an excuse to blast MY views.

I find so many entries that I consider absolutely vulgar and then recently I was reminded by wife that, when it comes to interpersonal communication, I am no mother Theresa either.

While by no means am I a blog junkie, I do read blogs in few other “ethnic” languages, as well as mainstream American stuff, and what I have found is that my approach to blogging is not unique.  There is nothing Iranian about what I described in the previous paragraphs; it is universal, it is …

I am not advocating or supporting these patterns, I am just sharing an observation.  And I stopped asking the world to act just like me, long time ago.

I have a feeling that some Iranians feel really sad about the state of their country; it does not match their own personal views, ambitions or accomplishments.  To reduce this deep pain we try to create the concept of “my Iran” and “their Iran”; it’s the same kind of sobering experience one goes through when they start to learn new and surprising things about the person they have idolized.  No matter who we are, and how hard we try to hide it, our blog entries almost always reflect the internal struggles we are experiencing.  And I actually find that to be very beautiful.

So if someone is interested to get past my level of blogging (as described in the first paragraph) let me leave you with a personal challenge:

When you read an entry, whether it intrigues you, upsets you, or infuriates you; ask yourself few questions;  

• What is interesting about this person’s view?
• What is he or she signaling about herself or himself?
• What kind of fears or aspirations is this person projecting?
• How would I be feeling if I grew up in the same household?
• What connects us?
• If this person is not influencing my views, what are the chances that I will influence theirs?
• What needs to happen for me to love this person?
• How would that make me feel about  myself?
• How important is it for me to get through to this person?
• What do I need to do different to make it happen?  

Dear Paymaneh

I admire you noble voice in uniting those who are constructively active in this free speech forum and further cautioning the abusive participants about their immaturity in discourse.

As a proud member of this community who does not voice constant reactions to the material published here, I want you to acknowledge the reality that for some of the iranian.com readers, such as myself, this participation and even feeling a sense of Iranian community is a new venture, contaminated with many bad habits! Mainly, through my experience of isolation due to my own circumstances, I am conditioned to be a cautious observer who examines and learns from the different point of views before throwing out emotionaly unbalanced feedback (as many here or elsewhere have a habit of doing).

For me, to join in a group discussion even on topics which are truly close to my heart and core, requires focus and knowledge of each perspective. Being a diligent iranian.com addict (oops meant reader!) provides me the space to clarify issues that nag at me. Most of the issues discussed her are my issues too. However, voicing an opinion, my opinion, I find is sometimes secondary to my duty to understand perspectives well. And that may contribute to some of the silence that you hear or read on iranian.com.

For some, again myself included, action is in terms of engaging through other means than writing here. I confess I do envy all you efficient writers who possess clear thoughts and the eloquent words you can easily access to share them. For me it's sometimes an ardeous task to even get over my aggression after reading some thug throwing around toxic hateful words, even if I try to avoid/ignore them most of the time, let alone have anything to write back with. I just feel like telling them to shut the eff off or to go away, which neither is a sign of my maturity in such situations. Therefore, I find it more civilized to quietly read the writers who offer me positive substance to chew on, instead of the morans who twist and turn every issue with either proIRI or anti IRI slogans. Agha we're taking about HUMANITY most of the time! whether the piece is on collective cultural biases or Israel genocide in Palestine; I find it my duty to understand it, feel it in my core and act accordingly, which maybe in terms of remaining the Gandhiesque peace loving soul that I am, and refraining from writing ignorant writers to shut the eff off.

Thank you for your piece.  

discord!

Dear AA, antagonistic political views are not exclusive to the Iranian community or even Iran, but rather universal. By the same token, expression of opposing views in the most passionate manner is seen as a corner stone of democratic institutions around the globe where exchanges can often turn into shouting matches (e.g. British parliamentary debates...)! These exchanges, however, in democratic societies are considered fair game so long as the opinions remain the subject of attacks rather than the person behind them!

I, much like many others in this forum, take part in discussions for I find it an alternative interactive medium in which one can find a refuge from the disinformation campaign perpetuated by the mainstream media! In doing so, I may find a few who agree with me and share my conviction, and some who don't. Indeed that is -- except maybe for a few who can not bear criticism -- what everyone looks forward to in public debates.

Nevertheless, there are those who assert themselves as the extension of the mainstream media and are here to act as the righteous guardians of the "truth," by categorizing and demonizing the opposing views as evil and "unIranian!" These "patriots" by and large judge everything by the Western standards except when freedom of speech is involved. It's then when they begin to show their true colours by labelling others and propagating unfounded accusations to debase any alternative view. And if you think it's just an Iranian thing, think twice. Recently I stumbled upon Russian and Turkish sites (looking for books...), and I found an uncanny parallel in the way these "patriots" operate here with their counterparts in those sites, sharing the smae rhetorics and modus operandi!

Oppression of the masses is not necessarily pertinent to a specific region or culture. Pinochet's Chile treated its citizens in a manner similar to the IRI, so did Papadopolous's Greece and Suharto's Indonesia! And these are countries far apart with entirely different social and cultural fabrics. True, there are Sha'ban Bimokhs all over the world in different shapes and colours, but the point is how they end up being the dominant voice of a society?!

When an illiterate thug such as Sha'ban Bimokh, overnight, becomes the public conscience of a CIA-sponsored coup by stabbing a prominent member of a democratically elected government. And when such thugs are revered as Tajbaksh and "saviour of the nation" by having public buildings named after them, how could one except intolerance and bullyism not become a trend in a society?!

Thank you, really enjoyed your blog.

I believe that people are not resistant to the truth, but there is something blocking them from reaching it. In our case it is ignorance,  years of brainwashing of masses, and also lack of understanding each other, which has caused paranoia amongst us Iranians.

I loved your parallels between our behaviour on this site and what is happening in Iran, so true.

 There are two things that can save us, first is by educating ourselves about people who are thinking differently from us, and by love .  By traveling through these two avenues we can reach the golden shores of tolerance and understanding.

By only blaming others( foreign powers), we will stay in the circle of hate and ignorance.

Most regards,

Tahirih 

I hate myself

No I don't.
But scanning the pages of Iranian.com it is seems like Iranians hate Iranians.
I think Iranians hate their deep-rooted inferiority complex vis-a-vis the West.

Once again the West is humiliating the East and our deep wounds are opened again. We hate the hands that show us who we are.

VS Naipul who visited non-arab Moslem countries wrote a must-read for Iranians book "Among the believers" published 1981. There he laid bare our national intellectual bankruptcy: Even the tools, arguments and methods we use to complain about the West are borrowed from the West.

Some clarifications

Thank you for your replies.  I thought it was clear that I do not condone the thuggish and criminal activities of IRI against the people of Iran.  Bringing up the Iranian origin of those who act to hurt, humiliate, torture, and kill Iranians inside Iran was my way of reminding us that the enemies of individual freedom and human rights in Iran are indeed a group of other Iranians.  Everyone has to deal with that fact and accept it before we can take any concrete steps to correct it. 

What is the motivation for that criminal and abusive behavior toward our fellow countrymen?  It can’t be all money.  Some of us do think that way, refusing to see the root of the problem, yet attempting to solve it.  Instead of imagining hanging every one of them off a tree on Pahlavi Avenue, as I have heard from some others to my horror, we have to think of ways to educate and help those people to overcome the ignorance (jahl) which continues to ail Iran.  This is why grassroots efforts such as the One Million Signature Campaign for Equality are extremely important campaigns, reaching ordinary Iranians face to face and bringing education to them.  A lot more has to be done in that area.  Civil society organizations which were active in doing just that have, unfortunately, been closed down and their activities curtailed drastically over the past 5 years.  So it’s taking even longer.

My other point was to express my disappointment in some fellow Iranians who seem to have only boarded an airplane and landed abroad, showing little signs of growth during their 20 and 30 year tenures outside Iran despite access to alternatives.  Certainly, there are many ideas and ideologies and choices which we love and condone, many that we accept after a debate, and the remaining ones with which we disagree, but we must tolerate.  Watching some, and certainly not all, debates on Iranian.com, I think we might have a problem in the tolerance department.

I believe that for the long years some Iranians have lived outside Iran, attending western universities, working in western societies, and having access to comparatively free information and forums for exchange of ideas, some of us are not displaying concrete signs of having learned much.  The minute we are given a forum, we tend to become dictatorial and thuggish in our language and conduct, calling each other names and telling each other what to think and what to say, down to what topics we choose to champion.  That is not right and we have to call attention to it when we see it.  Staying quiet and merely observing is not a viable option, either, as it only encourages those who are dressed in suits and skirts, claiming to be educated intellectuals, but who bear surprising resemblance to the chain wielding motorcycle riders who disrupt peaceful protests and scare the living hell out of any voices of dissent and disagreement.

Our nation is held hostage in the hands of ignorance and brutality inside Iran.  As a subset of the same people outside Iran who are debating and following debates on a free forum, it is completely unacceptable for us to either act as the ignorant ones, or to be the ones facilitating it through silence.  We must insist on better standards of public discourse.

Good Points

I think you raised some good points, very passionately.

Being fair, balanced and respectful of other people is hard work for someone like me who has been programmed to hide my personal inadequacies, anger, shortcomings, and arrogance behind my loud voice.

So I personally have to work at it very hard; my personal responsibility to grow.

I found the following book very helpful to me: “A return to love – Marianne Williamson”

with all due respect, Paymaneh

and I really do respect your political views. But I don't buy this liberal American interpretation of Ghandi's idea that we must be the change we want to see, or something like that. We will never finish perfecting our nafs so then what...? Wait until we are reincarnated as Lord Krishna or Buddha or, at least, Mahatma Gandhi to say or do anything?

And don't equal the nasty vulgar folks on this site with the passionate and honest ones even if they are imperfect. Riffraff, thugs and bullies may be loud but real strength comes from passionate and compassionate people, no matter how flawed they might be.

And Irandokht aziz, don't hold back! Let the passion loose -- it freaks out mediocrity!

To Q (not verified)

I heartedly agree with this part :

"Part of the big problems of expatriate Iranians is they project their
own feelings, values, attitutdes toward Islam on 70Million Iranians.
It's not even close! "

This is my opinion as well.

The expatridate Iranians (Me, included) progect thier own feelings and vlaues, not only toward Islam, but also toward everything happening inside of Iran, on the 70 million Iranian living there actually. 

Tyrannical mob rule is ok??

Let me get this right, because Khalkhali, Lajevardi, Mortazavi et al have thousands of supporters then that should make their unspeakable inhumanity and criminality ethical and moral??

If criminality and inhumanity has become the norm of the society in Iran then God help us. We will never prosper and see peace as long as we don't change.

All good!

So you have forgotten that Iran's backwardness may be attributed to the fact that the American and the British embassies were where Iran's national policies were dictated. How hard is to recall this historical fact? That our dear ruler, the Shah & his father, like the Qajar kings, were installed in power by the British? And when we do get to have an intelligent nationalist, like Mosadegh, he is overthrown and humiliated. The US newspapers called Mossadegh a dicator, while he was the premier, quite often, but not a single time was the Shah, their puppet, ever called a brutal dictator, even though he actually was such a puppet-dictator. The point is this: there is a struggle, fierce and merciless, out there to bring Iran back to the folds of the Western exploiters and under the beck and call of the Western tyrants, the likes of Churchill, Eisenhower, Truman, and Bush. Iranians' national duty is to defeat the Western interferance once and for all. This normally happens through wars and bloodshed,- have no illusions about it. Peace and gentility sound good, but remember that Mossadegh was overthrown not by peaceloving and gentle and compassionate Westerners who could not be found at the time and in fact anytime the West does its regular invasions and subversions, rather, it was done by the Western thugs. Unless you want to believe they were comapssionately thuggish, I must disagree.

Mea Culpa!

I have to confess that for my part, the answer to some of your questions is No!

Isn't it ironic

I always enjoy your blogs too.... you have a talent for pointing out the things we sometimes miss.

I think its always like this, change is often painful, slow and difficult to maintain but yavash yavash we are learning. Just look at the recent blogs. We have to recognise where we are, before we can go anywhere else.

I think things have improved over the past few months.

Javaneh

Amiri, slight problem with your wording

Hey, News Flash: They are Iranians. Are they good Iranians? Decent ones? Humanitarian ones? Fair-minded and generous ones? No, they aren’t, but they are Iranians.

Granted. But don't forget that for every Khalkhali or anybody else you consider "indecent" there are 10s of thousands of Iranian supporters to make that person possible. It's not just a few people you can blame. There are millions of Iranians who either work for the government, participate in the government or are a part of the government. 100% of those people are Iranian. 99% of those people are good people.

Part of the big problems of expatriate Iranians is they project their own feelings, values, attitutdes toward Islam on 70Million Iranians. It's not even close!

Thanks Ms. Amiri.

Intelligent as always. I thought I had noticed a lot of growth in the way we communicated with each other on this site during the past decade. Having almost no contact with Iranians in my daily life, this is where I turn to everyday for a sense of community.

The dialogues that have been going on on this site during last few weeks have been so bizarre and painful to read that I am beginning to wonder if the "growth" I thought I was sensing was more the result of JJ's moderation work, than real change. I am saddened to see that the only thing we seem to have got smarter about is in finding ways to hurt and insult each other without getting filtered out.  

More of an optimist, I am hoping that all this hatred is going to be exhausted someday and maybe this is the way to exhaust it. I don't know, but it sure is painful to watch and experience.  

Thanks for your post. 

Paymaneh jan

Your iranian.com series are very sobering and sometimes (ok often) very alarming too. Personally, I have always tried not to get too emotional while expressing my views or defending them, but I have to admit that with the recent news and the harsh words thrown around on this site, it was hard to keep cool sometimes.

Thank you for expressing your thoughts so clearly and keeping it all in perspective.

IRANdokht

Nice read!  Thank you sir.

Nice read!  Thank you sir.