Monda

After reading JJ's blog on his palms I thought "Hah! That's something I have never considered in my adult life!" - therefore would qualify as my novel experience of the week (I have put myself on a schedule with novel experiences due to my obsession with premature death). I also thought if a respectable intelligent person such as JJ considers palm reading Fun then I should at least give it a try.

The other day I made an appointment with the only Palm Reader listed in my Yellow Pages. Mapquesting her address it was a mere 35 minute drive. The conscientious fuel-user that I am I thought I should take a friend along. It was a tricky process who to invite for the ride - someone who had nothing better to do at that time of the day - who would not laugh at my crazy idea! Also thought I would get "a better deal" on two readings rather than one. The frail voice on the phone did not quote me a price; she wanted to get to know me first. I put my oldest jeans, the blandest black sweater and old boots, no earrings, no ring. I asked her on the phone about internet connection at her place (so I could type her revelations as I deemed necessary). She said there was. She gave me her version to her address, suggesting to call her in case I get lost or find bad traffic. Four phone calls to her and finally speaking to her daughter, I arrived an hour late. The turns she had mentioned, I later discovered, did not exist since the 80's.

I parked my daughter's Toyota (thinking if she saw my VW I may be slightly overcharged) in the narrow covered drive way behind this spotless shiny white SUV. The house is white 1950's style ranch with about a dozen antique gnomes of various sizes at the entrance. I rang the white old bell while squeezing my laptop under my arm. After a minute this small-framed 90 something lady in colorful flowery patio dress under a pink flannel robe, with many necklaces, rings and earrings opened the door for me. With a sweet smile she confirmed that finding her place can be frustrating. Her piercing once-brown-eyes behind the gold color faux designer frames penetrated every inch of me. Pointing to my laptop, she clarified there was a Net connection, but typing, writing or recording were restricted. As she guides me to the seat within a foot of the entrance door, I was feeling scrutinized by 20 pairs of Jesus and Mary eyes. She touched my shoulder. I looked up from the saints, "you are a good person with a heart of gold, I won't charge you my regular $200"... $200??!!

I'm sorry Madame R, I didn't know how much you charged, on the phone when I asked... "

I know what I said on the phone... you work hard and have a daughter you are worried about, plus Christmas is coming and you need to buy gifts for relatives and friends... you give everyone so much, you need to give yourself more"... Feeling speechless I looked up at her...."So how much did you bring with you?"

"Umm 40? "

Then almost whispering her sweet crackling voice in my left ear, "Why do you worry so much for your daughter, you have done very well ... she'll be just fine" ...

My knees instantly locked at 90 degrees while sitting on that white patio chair offered to me under the gaze of the Saints. Holding my sweaty palms she chuckled, "Why are you so worried about death? you will live a Long happy life!... Look at these lines, you'll live to be about 100 without hardly any health problems"...

My face so lit up that I could feel the heat myself. That was the best relief I had felt in weeks - reminder of few intense emotional/ physical soothers of late. She continued "You have reason to worry right now, but things will be just fine, Soon... you're living around so much anger... but that paper will be signed soon, like next year or so, you'll walk out of this mess nicely ... right now you need to stay put but you don't need to carry all the anger from your husband for too long... he's old enough to take care of himself ... there's Nothing you can do for him... he is afraid and angry about losing you ... But you need spiritual cleansing then you will know that you need to pay more attention to your self".

Finally I could ask, "Spiritual cleansing? What do you mean Madame R?"

She replied, "You never had anyone who gave you the love and attention that you needed... your Mother, where is she right now?"

"In East Bay? why?"

"Well she was never there for you and is not here for you now... your father loved you very much but he was always in a smoke... Yes you miss him very much but he was always in a smoke....."

"In a smoke? what does that mean Madame R? ..."

"Oh I don't know, I see that he was always in smoke, in a fog?... don't know". (My dad used to be a chain-smoker, severe gambler and a workaholic. But I remained quiet for more.)

I wanted to know more about my future.

"You were born with lucky signs, see these lines?....."

I translated: I will never be poor because I "have a heart of gold"... she saw lots of gold around me, "do you have a lot of gold?

"I was thinking of the panj pahlavis that presumably my mom has kept for me in Iran, and some old gold jewelry that's sitting in my old jewelry boxes."

She continues, "you don't need to worry about money... you touch people like an angle and that feels like gold to you and them...."

I suddenly felt like embracing this incredibly sweet woman. She hugged me back gently.

She continued, "you have not been loved the way you deserved it but there is a man who will give you all the love you have missed in your life. You and him love to travel, will plan many happy things with your daughters around....."

"Madame R I only have one real daughter, my stepdaughter hasn't really spoken to me for a year?"

"I don't know I see two real daughters around you and grandchildren... you and your man will always be true to each other, you know what I mean? You will be always truthful to each other... very happy times.. nothing in the past matters anymore. He has a good head..., this man is very wise and unlike you he is very stubborn and patient ... doesn't show his emotions for you but does care for you a lot ".

"Another marriage? another daughter? I'm 53!"

"You don't look 53 to me... honey age doesn't matter... I don't know what marriage is, when a woman and a man give their souls to each other that's marriage to me, when you give your souls to each other... you know what I mean? you need spiritual cleansing... call me when you're ready". "You have lived in a unhappy marriage for a long time because you don't know what it means....".

No debate there, after 19 years.

"Some of the friendly people around you right now are jealous of you, be careful, only stick with your Real friends and you know who they are... these jealous people may hurt you... use your head, not your heart all the time... you're too trusting and impatient (I consider myself one of the most patient people I know! What is she talking about?!)... Don't rush, you will live a very long life! You will see that man soon and will go on many trips together... he's different, he loves you, you'll see..."

Smiling Madame R wished me a happy holiday. "Come see me again some time, maybe with your man next time... now go before the very bad traffic and fog". I hope she remains well and lucid until "My Man" comes along :o)

On the 101 ramp there was a 3 car accident right after I exited at a 7/11 for gum. I looked up at the clear sky and the beautiful full moon. No Fog - until I arrived home.