Open letter to Reza Pahlavi

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Open letter to Reza Pahlavi
by Anonymouse
05-Jan-2010
 

Dear Prince Chubby,

Can I call you Prince chubby? Yeah that would be easier cause I have to call you Prince something and you’d probably agree that Prince chubby is as good as any.  Anyway, as you may know we discuss you and future of Iran and many other things on i.com.  Lately you’ve been discussed more and thrown into various discussions so I thought it’d be nice to write you a letter.

I was thinking to myself what can Prince chubby do to better market himself so that he is taken more seriously.  I know you’ve said that all you want is for Iranians to go and vote and if they choose you so be it.  So since you are throwing your hat in the ring I thought to remind you this may be a good time to dust off your old resume.

I was thinking well what can Prince chubby put on his resume?  We all know he played soccer in high school and learned to fly an Air Force jet and he is married and has a nice family.  Surely there must be more so I checked your website to see what I can find.

I found messages galore, left and right sent to various people from Ban Ki Moon to “Messages To The Nation” and couple of books recently.  So I clicked and clicked but didn’t find anything I could use as any accomplishment.  You know anything, like opening a 7-11, a dry cleaner, a kabobi, a carpet shop, something.  Just being rich is not enough to run for higher office.  For example, New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg is the 8th richest man in United States and before he ran for that office he ran a financial software company.

I know being an Iranian all you need is a King father but even your grand pa made himself a king so if you don’t do something soon someone may come along and open a new Monarchy and call it something like Farahani or Bakhtiari and steal your thunder.  Sending messages is not enough, anyone can send a message, heck since Khomeini issued that Fatwa against Salman Rushdie and made the word Fatwa famous; everyone issues Fatwas which beats general messages. 

My suggestion is to maybe open a business so people know that you’re doing something or charities like scholarships for Iranian kids or helping aging Iranian population in America.  Charities are tax deductible.  I remember one year Al Gore’s tax return showed he had only paid $500 to charity which became an issue in his presidential campaign.  The very next year and beyond he contributed much more to charities and I think he currently has a foundation for environmental issues.

If charity is not your cup of tea then a business that people can see, maybe own thoroughbred race horses and race them in Kentucky derby and make a name for yourself before taking on the office and leading Iran through the doors of the big civilization.

If all fails and you’re just too lazy to do anything how about a cologne called Pahlavi?  That’d work, I’d buy a bottle.  As you know all Middle Eastern men shower with their colognes so there is a big demand.  In fact now that I think about it if you don’t start it I may call Calvin Klein myself and pitch the Pahlavi cologne.  I’ll get Maz Jobrani to become the spokesman and already see the commercials which can run during the Funny in Farsi pilot that ABC is planning;

     Pahlavi – scent of an empire …

In conclusion, Prince chubby jaan I want what is best for you not necessarily what is best for Iranians.  I have other blogs about them.  This letter is for you and your benefit and I hope you take it to heart and do something other than just sending messages.  As you know all Iranians are experts in politics so political messages (like yours) is our national hobby and dime a dozen.  Some want to know what you did with all that money since you’re not even the richest Iranian anymore.  Those boobs were taken away by the monster.  Did I mention treadmill and more exercise?  This year you’ll become 50 years old so hurry up or soon you’ll be too lazy to even send messages.

Photo Caption: Tehran’s shoe shine on wheels

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more from Anonymouse
 
Anonymouse

"the only presentable and viable candidate" who may or may not

by Anonymouse on

Everything is sacred.


Arthimis

Anonymouse...

by Arthimis on

First of all, You are not funny with all your unfair jabs here on Reza Pahlavi...

I don't care if you or anyone else here calls me Shahi/ Monarchist or whatever either, but please understand this unfortunate fact that Iran does not have a single leader who is accepted and followed unanimously by all Iranians inside Iran (most importantly!) and Iranians outside Iran, expect for a known and famous figure such as Reza Pahlavi, whether our egoistis Iranian minds and characters (despite our level of educations...) wants to accept it or not!!!!

Furthermore, as far as the global knowledge and perspective on Iran and Iranians, No body else has ever come close to the level of fame and prestige of Reza Pahlavi for Iran on global level.

The likes of Moussavi, Makhmalbaf, Sazgara and etc. despite their current possible good intentions!!! were bunch of Islamic bastards who brought Iran and Iranians to this tragic level of existence!!! The Young progressive Iranians inside Iran do not trust anyone with any Islamic ties and connection to Satanic Republic in the past, present or future....

Fortunately or Unfortunately (depending on where you come from!), Reza Pahlavi is the only presentable and viable candidate and choice for the Leaderhip of a Movement and Uprising against EVIL Tyranny of Satanic Republic in Iran.

As Reza Pahlavi himself has repeatedly announced to all Iranians and the world, he does not want to be a KING or President if Iranians don't want him to be... and he will honour and respect the vote of all Iranians in a free election for Iranians to choose the own future in a Free and Democratic Iran...

We Iranians (every single one of us!) we think we are all the best in the world, but the global perspective on each and every one of us suggests otherwise... There is simply no better known and cleaner choice than Reza Pahlavi to rescue Iran at this moment!

I just wish he would have been more aggrasive and would go on every single world media and announce his future plan for Iran and Iranians as a true leader! He must issue a final warning to all individuals and organizations inside Satanic Republic to join the Free People Of Iran for a Regime Change or face the harshest consequences when Iranians become Victorious and take their Motherland back from the Evil. 

Zendeh Baad Iran va Iranian Raasteen.


Anonymouse

Pahlavis "were" the richest Iranians. That much is true.

by Anonymouse on

Everything is sacred.


Souri

This is not a chatroom, Anonymouse

by Souri on

But I'm telling you, lots of your ideas about their  fortune are false.

I know many Iranian-Americans (left aside the non-Iranian Americans) who haven't had that much wealth while they were in Iran and now they are richer that the guy and his family.

The notion of "fortune" of the Pahlavi family is still the old one, which has been registered in your mind, since you were living in Iran. While when you look at the reality, they haven't been (are even less now) the real super-rich family. They have been living a luxury life, but being super-rich? I don't think so. At least not with the today's scale of the big fortunate like Bill Gates and Oprah ....etc.

 


Anonymouse

Prince chubby not super rich anymore?! He can't manage finances?

by Anonymouse on

Prince chubby was taught how to be charismatic as part of his prince's training in Tehran by his many nannys and instructors.  If they squandered all that money then that goes against him in his resume!

Iranians who had no money compared to them who had the most money are now richer. That goes to show that he can't even manage personal finances?!  So if we trust him with our oil money again what is he going to waste it on this time?! The promise of one cholo kabob/Iranian/month?!

Everything is sacred.


Souri

You are funny....:)

by Souri on

"Bill Clinton had more charisma by his age and he didn't have any of his money".........

I laughed so much! But what does charisma has to do with money? Actually to be very honest, I don't think they are a super rich family. 


Anonymouse

Political office "experience" is good resume for running "again"

by Anonymouse on

I'm not talking about American values, there are many who right after college/school started in local politics/office and went on to national and then presidential ambitions.

Our prince chubby has no other credentials other than being a Son-of-a-king!  He is chubby (not obese).  If he didn't have "charisma  in person" then all our money would've been wasted! Bill Clinton had more charisma by his age and he didn't have any of his money.

If I were to move to Iran the first thing people would ask me is what can I do.  There were many who have moved to Iran after years of living in other countries and some have gone on to make millions.  Like the guy who went from Boston and opened parsonline that sells internet time. 

So right now the only thing he has on his resume is being a prince chubby! 

Everything is sacred.


Souri

Not totally agreed !

by Souri on

1) He is not chubby at all (I said that before) he is good. Maybe he is not so photogenic but, when you see him in person, he has lots of charisma.

2) It is not necessary for a politician to have been in a business. You are judging this matter based on the American values, which are not internationally approved. Many politician in Europe (specially in France, Mitterrand, Chirac, Rocard....etc) didn't do anything else but politics for most of their lives. Being a full time politician does not have any negative impact on his legitimacy for being elected.

3) I give him lots of credit for what he stands for and for his ability to get over all the mis-fortunate events in his own and his family's life. I congrats him for being still a good and balanced person who has no vendetta and contrary to the "old fashion monarchists" never talks about the past but instead he is focused on the Future.

What make me pessimistic about his chances of being elected or being defeated after he get elected, are these two factors:

1) the people (the moft khor arazel o obaash of the past) around him

2) the fact that he hasn't lived in Iran and like many of us, he doesn't have an objective vision of the real life of the Iranians and the real problem of the country

If he can overcome these two weak points, he would be one of the best choices for the Iran's future.

PS- Of course I mean as a president of a secular republic of Iran (not the crown blah blah........)


Anonymouse

I want his lazy ass to help us too!

by Anonymouse on

Thank you all for reading and your comments.  RW jaan I'm not sure what you're talking about.  

SNL had a parody of the movie 2012 where Palin would become the President and all hell would break loose!  So maybe there is a parallel! 

Everything is sacred.


Red Wine

...

by Red Wine on

الهی گور نامردان مرده و خانه نامردان زنده آتش گیرد.

باید به فکر فردا بود،آزادی ایران از تمام این مطالب گفته شده در اینجا مهمتر است و واجب !

 


amirkabear4u

To Anonymouse

by amirkabear4u on

Interesting comments and I am surprised DK has not responded to this blog yet. I had an idea 3 months ego to write a blog regarding his retrun to Iran to save the prisoners. The blog would mainly argue what happened if RP (or more appropriately Reza Goolly) went back to Iran. No matter what happened to him, he would end up as a hero. Even in the worth case he would be a political prisoner. But time did not allow me to do so.

Yes in the past a military person would be better accepted but these days intelligence is more agreeable with the masses. The question is does he have it???

Pahlavi – scent of an empire is a great name, you have business potential. This is the best I hear so far. He could do a lot but I think he does not want to show he has lots of money. Also I think he is gay. His marriage is a political show off. Look at it this way. Do you have a wealthy family member or friend who wanted to marry so young? It is not in Iranian men's blood to have a wife if they have too much money!!!!!!!!

GOOD WORK. 

 


Faramarz

The End is Near

by Faramarz on

Anonymouse,

Although I agree with your overall assessment and recommendations, I believe that you should take the following into consideration.

According to the ancient Mayans, the world as we know it will end in 2012! So, I am more inclined to let Reza Pahlavi do as he wishes.  

Although, there are those who disagree with the doomsday scenario and say that the Mayans probably did not know how to count beyond 2012 or maybe they ran out of fingers and toes to count! But just to be on the safe side, we all have two years to get rid of this regime and we can use all the help that we can get, including Reza Pahlavi.


vildemose

Excellent and funny.  If I

by vildemose on

Excellent and funny.  If I were him I would take your advice...


Maryam Hojjat

Good advice to RP!

by Maryam Hojjat on

I hope he is not offended!


ali_UK

True!!

by ali_UK on

ridicule apart , I can not find anything wrong with what the post says.

But why should he have done anything significant?it is not as if he comes from a long line of monarchs..


hamsade ghadimi

i stand corrected

by hamsade ghadimi on

how cynical i am not to believe in photos posted by other iranians.  this guy hassan khani seems like such a nice guy and a go-getter.  i'll look him up next time i'm in sunny iran.


Anonymouse

That is a real photo I took it myself. You can click 4 more info

by Anonymouse on

Yes I remember the same Reza's soccer play stories.  He played with our school too and I almost played with him once but there were better players from my school.  My Kalani type opportunistic goals while exciting, were not enough for the coaches and me wearing glasses didn't help either.

All I'm doing is sending him a letter asking for an updated resume, just about anything would do.  As I said someone is ought to create a new dynasty since the Pahlavi dynasty will die with him.  His kids are not going back.

The phone number is for cell phones and the prefixes have changed with the explosion of cell phones in Iran.  The link I provided is the guy's real website.  You see this guy with all the limitation in Iran started a new business with a new idea and has his own website that people can actually use and know him.  If I had seen the guy sooner I'd have called him to test his services. 

Everything is sacred.


I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek

.

by I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek on

.


hamsade ghadimi

ramblings on monarchy

by hamsade ghadimi on

anonymouse, don't you have to anything better to do than bug this poor boy?  or are you trying to boil the shahis?  after all, they're quick to note that he has never done anything wrong which is not that hard to do if you haven't done anything.  at any rate, i don't want to put another log on the fire.  but since you mentioned that he used to play soccer in high school, i have a good reza cyrus pahlavi (rcp) soccer story:

my cousin used to play soccer at razi high school and their team was a rival to rcp's school.  my cousin's team was very good and they came in 2nd in the city a couple of years which to them meant that they were the true champion.  he told me that half of rcp's teammates had beards and did not look like that they were high school kids.  no one dared to tackle rcp or play rough around him.  and of course he would take all the free kicks and penalties which were plenty.

there i went and ragged on him.  you're a bad influence.  now to make it balanced, i like to say that i think he's probably a good pilot and probably not faking it.  he also admits that his father made some "mistakes," but i haven't heard his elaborations on those mistakes.  but i think deep down he knows.  i hope.

btw, is that photo photoshopped?  there are some strange characters on it that i don't recognize.  and iranians don't wax shoes, they "vax" them.  not to mention that the phone number doesn't have enough numbers (if in tehran) nor does it have the right prefix for cell phones.


Anonymouse

The 2010 diet message: Pahlavi - taste of an empire ...

by Anonymouse on

Yes there can be a whole line of Pahlavi fashion accessories! 

Silk tissues, adjustable belts that expand, silk peejamehs, silk gloves and much more!  The slogan for this fashion line:

 Pahlavi - dress for an empire ...

Everything is sacred.


I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek

for my king and country

by I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek on

OF COURSE i would. #4 will probably be stinky. Anonymouse you're funny.


I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek

I also think Pahlavi should market a 2010 diet

by I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek on

Only eat whenever I go on Fox News or some softball European interview. Only eat rich desserts and other junk foods when I hold a press conference with silk tissues to blow my big beautiful nose into. 

Don't worry, you won't be hungry during this diet! 


Anonymouse

Marge jaan there can be Pahlavi #4 perfume for women!

by Anonymouse on

 I hope no one attacks and if they do I'm counting on JJJ to show us the limits of democracy!  Would you be willing to be the spokeswoman for Pahlavi #4 perfume?!  #4 being the 4th generation Pahlavi, get it?!

Everything is sacred.


I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek

Bottle that pahlavi mojo!

by I Have a Crush on Alex Trebek on

I'm not a man, but I bet men are hoping to get a slice of Pahlavi in bottle form. Great idea! Anonymouse, you really set out a bunch of good ideas here. I think you're going to get a lot of comments or attacks on you and your family.