Open letter to Reza Pahlavi

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Open letter to Reza Pahlavi
by Anonymouse
05-Jan-2010
 

Dear Prince Chubby,

Can I call you Prince chubby? Yeah that would be easier cause I have to call you Prince something and you’d probably agree that Prince chubby is as good as any.  Anyway, as you may know we discuss you and future of Iran and many other things on i.com.  Lately you’ve been discussed more and thrown into various discussions so I thought it’d be nice to write you a letter.

I was thinking to myself what can Prince chubby do to better market himself so that he is taken more seriously.  I know you’ve said that all you want is for Iranians to go and vote and if they choose you so be it.  So since you are throwing your hat in the ring I thought to remind you this may be a good time to dust off your old resume.

I was thinking well what can Prince chubby put on his resume?  We all know he played soccer in high school and learned to fly an Air Force jet and he is married and has a nice family.  Surely there must be more so I checked your website to see what I can find.

I found messages galore, left and right sent to various people from Ban Ki Moon to “Messages To The Nation” and couple of books recently.  So I clicked and clicked but didn’t find anything I could use as any accomplishment.  You know anything, like opening a 7-11, a dry cleaner, a kabobi, a carpet shop, something.  Just being rich is not enough to run for higher office.  For example, New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg is the 8th richest man in United States and before he ran for that office he ran a financial software company.

I know being an Iranian all you need is a King father but even your grand pa made himself a king so if you don’t do something soon someone may come along and open a new Monarchy and call it something like Farahani or Bakhtiari and steal your thunder.  Sending messages is not enough, anyone can send a message, heck since Khomeini issued that Fatwa against Salman Rushdie and made the word Fatwa famous; everyone issues Fatwas which beats general messages. 

My suggestion is to maybe open a business so people know that you’re doing something or charities like scholarships for Iranian kids or helping aging Iranian population in America.  Charities are tax deductible.  I remember one year Al Gore’s tax return showed he had only paid $500 to charity which became an issue in his presidential campaign.  The very next year and beyond he contributed much more to charities and I think he currently has a foundation for environmental issues.

If charity is not your cup of tea then a business that people can see, maybe own thoroughbred race horses and race them in Kentucky derby and make a name for yourself before taking on the office and leading Iran through the doors of the big civilization.

If all fails and you’re just too lazy to do anything how about a cologne called Pahlavi?  That’d work, I’d buy a bottle.  As you know all Middle Eastern men shower with their colognes so there is a big demand.  In fact now that I think about it if you don’t start it I may call Calvin Klein myself and pitch the Pahlavi cologne.  I’ll get Maz Jobrani to become the spokesman and already see the commercials which can run during the Funny in Farsi pilot that ABC is planning;

     Pahlavi – scent of an empire …

In conclusion, Prince chubby jaan I want what is best for you not necessarily what is best for Iranians.  I have other blogs about them.  This letter is for you and your benefit and I hope you take it to heart and do something other than just sending messages.  As you know all Iranians are experts in politics so political messages (like yours) is our national hobby and dime a dozen.  Some want to know what you did with all that money since you’re not even the richest Iranian anymore.  Those boobs were taken away by the monster.  Did I mention treadmill and more exercise?  This year you’ll become 50 years old so hurry up or soon you’ll be too lazy to even send messages.

Photo Caption: Tehran’s shoe shine on wheels

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Anonymouse

Chalabi dast - Prince chubby raghs! Hala bar aks! Aah! Aah! Aah!

by Anonymouse on

Everything is sacred.


ramin parsa

Intellectual Midget

by ramin parsa on

Quoting the literary genuises of our times... from SNL. What do you expect from an intellectual fruit fly? 

Still waiting for your lovely picture, mousey mordekhor...


Anonymouse

As Will Ferrell said in Elf; you're an angry little Elf!

by Anonymouse on

Everything is sacred.


ramin parsa

Vermin, losing your temper, are you?

by ramin parsa on

Is that all you have to say, you intellectual midget? I'm still waiting for your handsome picture? Do you really look like Mahmoud or George Clooney? Come, on, pal, you made looks an issue, it's only fair game. Let's see what you look like, vermin? Are you fat, skinny, ugly, or a dork?

Who made you the judge and jury on looks anyway? You shallow, hollow excuse for a human being, what do you look like, really? And by the way, you show absolutely ZERO SUBSTANCE when all you can do is attack your enemy's appearance.

Have you no shame?

Are you that bankrupt, , creatively, morally and spiritually? Don't you have any SUBSTANTIVE CLAIMS against Reza Pahlavi, other than betraying your MASSIVE OGHDEH? What has RP done so wrong that makes you vermin hate him so much (remember, little mouse, he's not his father). Let's face it, if you did have some valid substantive knocks against RP, you wouldn't be ridiculing his waist-line. 

I bet a thousand dollars you're overweight yourself! In fact, I bet you're chubbier than Reza, specially around the ankles!


ramin parsa

Pie-hole Pontifications of a Phantom

by ramin parsa on

who writes, "Undeniable historical evidence seems to be incompatible with your  yet-to-evolve brain.

And what are these "undeniable historical evidences," you of the IQ of a three-toed sloth?

The national symbol of Iran shouldn't be a lion, but an "Olagh" (mule), for some of us are just a bunch of stubborn jackasses. As they say, people deserve the government they get.


The Phantom Of The Opera

Pathetic Pahlavi's Monkeys; You Pahlavi lovers

by The Phantom Of The Opera on

Be mindful of the glass barrier which separates you, "Pahlavist monkeys" from the spectators; Each time  Reza joon, hands over his fecal matter to you, in order to throw at the rest of us. It's you, yourself, who end up with shit on your face and in your  mouth. Undeniable historical evidence seems to be incompatible with your  yet-to-evolve brain. Now, go and lick the glass.

The Pahlavis, all mullahs, and all public figures associated with the Green Movement  must disclose the source and the amount of their wealth/income.


ramin parsa

PATHETIC Pahlavi OGHDEH!

by ramin parsa on

Annonymous vermin, you have got to be either an IRI sympathizer or a leftist leftover from a dead era. Right now, what we need is complete UNITY amongst our people (inside/outside Iran) -- yes, vermin, a greater unity includes even the Pahlavis.

But what do you do? You write an obscenely PATHETIC blog ridiculing Reza Pahlavi's physical appearance. Are you dimented with jealousy or just sick with a severe case of Pahlavi Oghdeh? While we're discussing looks, as Louie Louie requested in Persian, let me request it in English (just in case you're a Palestinian drone): send us your picture, you coward, I'd like to see what the hell you look like. I bet you like your boy Mahmoud.

While we're on looks, I bet this vermin would also mock a "younger" Mossadegh (long before he became Prime Minister, as he, too, was a Qajar Prince) for having a bald head and a big nose. I bet he would mock Mayor Bloomberg for being a midget. I bet he would mock Haydeh the singer for being a fat skank. But he doesn't mock other people's physical appearances, simply because he doesn't have Bloomberg or Haydeh OGHDEH -- but rather, he only suffers from a shamelessly PATHETIC case of Pahlavi Oghdeh.

I feel sorry for you, vermin. You should be much bigger than a mousey mordekhor (after all, the Shah's dead) at this crucial hour in our national history, but I know you can't help it, vermin. Your oghdeh-complex is over-powering. Listen, vermin, you should be less concerned with Pahlavi's waistline and more focused on his political message.

And it's sad to see so many pathetic cheerleaders on this site -- it only confirms my opinion that most of you are a bunch of dimwitted morons who can't put aside your petty instincts for the greater good.

I wish better for the people in Iran, but you jackals deserve the mullahs, every single one of you who thinks this is a "funny" blog at this revolutionary time in our history. There's nothing funny about what's going on in Iran, you cyber twits. And there's nothing funny about a vermin poking juvenile fun at a potentially legitimate voice, while giving the rapists in Iran the benefit of this futile exercise.


maziar 58

66 joon

by maziar 58 on

....................

no comment. hope you'd got the message.       Maziar


Minoo66

"Bubble boy" in Paris

by Minoo66 on

حالا همه اینا به کنار، دیگه پاریس رفتن و ادا اطوار دموکراتیک گرفتن و تو مناظره شرکت کردنت چی‌ بود؟ این کارا مال کسی‌ هستش که یه کم تمرین این، ببخشینا، غلط کردنا رو کرده باشه. اگه اول با من مشورت کرده بودی بهت می‌گفتم شما خوبه اول بری کالیفرنیا توی اون کنفرانسی که اگه بگردی بلاگشو تو همین سایت پیدا میکنی‌، اونجا بهت یاد میدادن که هم سلطنت، کردنیه هم شاه،شدنی.


Anonymouse

RW jaan I'm full but will dance 4U; Aah! Aah! Aah! Peck! Peck!

by Anonymouse on

Everything is sacred.


Red Wine

...

by Red Wine on

اننیموس جان، از سر شب نان و کباب باقی‌ مانده،بیا تا شریک و هم سفره شیم !

این ویدئو را هم ببین و حال کن .

//www.youtube.com/watch?v=h893zewNdQw


Anonymouse

How about a blog on using LOL, ROFL, LOL aimlessly? LOL LOL LOL

by Anonymouse on

Everything is sacred.


Arthimis

Louie Louie :o)

by Arthimis on

George Clooney... LOL... I swore to God, you are so darn right, ham-meehan...

All these guys who base on other people's decent looks, class and intelligence (such as Reza Pahlavi's )and to such degree of writing a blog are the ones who perhaps are suffering from a condition of unattractiveness themselves!

Of course in case of the ugliest man alive (Antari-nejad), there is a unanimous global vote.... :-)

Peace.


Veiled Prophet of Khorasan

ptehrani jaan tolerance is not the same as amnesty

by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on

 

I ask what you mean by Mojahedeen.  I make a distinction between the adherents of the Marxist ideology and people who plainly committed crimes against Iran.

The leadership i.e Rajavis as well as some others are  criminals. They should be treated like any other criminal; prosecuted and punished in found guilty. If any non-MKO person also committed crimes they should also be prosecuted. That would apply to AN and Basijis who also committed crimes against Iranians.

There is a difference between tolerance and blanket immunity to crimes. In some situations like South Africa such immunities were granted under terms of amnesty but it is not an automatic right. It is a favor granted when it makes sense.

As for the "Marxist" ideology. Of course adherents of it should be free to run. I won't vote for them but they are welcome to run for any office without restriction.


David ET

Thanks for the laugh :-)

by David ET on

He can also start a Pahlavi DNA shop and sells anything that carries Pahlavi DNA considering that he is not willing to to give ups his God given right to lifetime Kingdom by his family due to their DNA superiority comparing to other Iranians . (unless people vote against monarchy , as if 1979 revolution didnt happen !) You can watch the infomercial on:

www.pahlavidna.com

But wait!

 if you order in the next 5 minutes you will also receive a handkercif with initials RP and a minted 1/4 Pahlavi coin with Reza's photo on it ...all for only 3 monthly payments of $29.95 (plus shipping and handling)


ptehrani

Unity means no discrimination

by ptehrani on

Veiled Prophet of Khorasan:

 I believe that we should allow anyone meeting those 2 conditions (change of regime and future secular and democratic system) to participate in the opposition including even islamists or others such as Mousavi.

Who are we to decide for the Iranian people? We should give everyone a fair chance to promote their view and  then have the Iranian people decide. But the time needed to "promote" is not just a few weeks but a few months so people know what they are getting themselves into. Not like the referandum after the revolution where people voted blindly for their own execution!

I am personally against MKO. But an MKO member might argue that they sided with Saddam to overthrow the regime in Tehran and risked their lives and died to liberate Iran! And as such if they agree with the terms above, they should be allowed to participate. Again I would not vote for them but let's not discreminate groups just because we don't agree with them.

PT


Louie Louie

Paris is burning!

by Louie Louie on

.....


Anonymouse

Funny; google auto ads are picking up on ... scent of an empire!

by Anonymouse on

Colognes and perfumes ...  

Everything is sacred.


Louie Louie

You've got to look like George Clooney

by Louie Louie on

for having the balls to write something like this!

No, I'm not a monarchist and I was surrounded by bunch of antellectuals who had their share of savak and they did a lot for the revolution and they followed a man with a sickle and hammer who worked really hard in a farm (wink, wink). So anyways they did it and they got choob too koon and ended up taking refuge in Europe.  

Now all they do is to grab a handkerchief and go oohoo oohoo for the youngs that are getting slaughtered for the shit they created.

Ageh vaght kardi akseto bezar bebineem toye shazdeh doomad cheh shekli hasti.

Marhamat ziad.

 


Veiled Prophet of Khorasan

Faramarz is right

by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on

 

I don't see the dislike towards RP. If he wants to run for office it is fine with me. I have made it clear that I probably vote for him.

Anyway, Pahlavi is a fine name. It is the "name" of our language before the Arabs. Middle Persian aka Pahlavi.

As for the Flag, I have a suggestion. Forget about: Green; Shir-o-Khorsheed and all this. Our true flag is Darafshe Kaviani. That was the flag the Sassanian had before the Arab disaster. It has strong national implications and will be able to unite people. It has the advantage that no one lays claim to it other than all the Iranian people.


Samad_Agha

دروغگو سگ خداس و کم حافظه

Samad_Agha


آخه بابام جان، نیم پهلوی گفت اگه ما نریم تو حزب رستاخیز ایرانی‌ نیستیم و خائن.  به ما گفت اگه می‌خواین، ده بالا را ترک کنین برین کشور غریبه. گفت اگرم نمیرین شیشه می‌کنیم تو ماتحتتان و با کمی‌ آب خنک مخمون شاید بهتر کار کنه. آره عزیز دلم نیم پهلوی خیلی‌ اعتبار داشت. نیم پهلوی کشور مارو یک شبه هزار و دویست سال پیشرفت داد. یه شبه هم فلنگ رو بست و مارو انداخت به جون این عمامه به سرا که از صد تا عقرب و مار افعی بدترن. میگی‌ نه چشات رو باز کن و هذیون این ژاله هو و سرگرد گوزپیچ رو بخون. ربع پهلوی هم کلی اعتبار داره و همچنین حیثیت، البته برای همون رستاخیزی ها. اگه می‌خواد کمک کنه بگو بیاد اینجا و آستین و پاچه شو بکشه بالا بیل بزنیم که مرده‌ها کامیون کامیون دارن میان.  فقط بهش بگین که ایرون اون ایرون دیگه نیس، ننه آقا مرده و لیلا تو دوبی‌ نمیدانم چکار میکنه ولی‌ خیلی‌ پول در میاره. اگه هم پولی‌ که پنجاه سال از این ولایت فقیر بالا کشیدن براشون کافی‌ نبود، بگین بیان خرمون رو سوغاتی ببرن. مای دهاتی بچه یل تپه از قوچعلی سوواری میگیریم، نونمون رو می‌خوریم.


Anonymouse

Unity under one flag or multiple flags?

by Anonymouse on

Thank you all for reading and your comments. 

For those of you who talk about unity and Prince chubby being part of the opposition2, may I remind you all that during this past summer when there were organized rallies across the globe against the regime and the message was unity, a big fuss was made over flags.

Prince chubby and friends couldn't bring themselves to rally under one green flag.  So this is the same and if Prince chubby wants to be a player he has to answer some questions.  All messages (in a bottle ;-) and no dialogues is for Princes, I forgot! sorry!  Like playing soccer and not defending him so he can score goals ala carte?! 

Everything is sacred.


Veiled Prophet of Khorasan

Reza Shah the first

by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on

 

People can mock Reza Shah the first all they want. But truth speaks for itself. He did more for Iran than any other single figure. And he got it right for most part. If we could have another Reza Shah Iran may actually have a chance to advance :-)


Faramarz_Fateh

Typical Iranian style blind hatred

by Faramarz_Fateh on

For a nation and people who chose Khomeini over the Shah and put up with 30 years of Islamic rule in the last decades of the 20th and first decade of the 21st century, we have a lot of gull to ridicule a guy just because of his last name.

Many of us are willing to give a chance to a reformed Islam and we ridicule RP. 

And then we yell and scream democracy.  If this guy RP wants to run for office of the president in a secular Iran, I say why not.

As long as he signs a declaration that would prevent Islamization of Iran at any cost, so the mistake of his father is not repeated, I will take a serious look at him as Iran's first president.

 


Jaleho

RP is TOO lazy for that!

by Jaleho on

For his eidi, I wrote him a blog too , but koo goosh shenava?! See:

//iranian.com/main/blog/jaleho/reza-pahlavi-new-american-reality

"maybe start to find an honorale job for himslef rather than wishing a foreign power would impose him on Iranians, like they did with his father and grandfather. "

However, you have some concrete suggestions that might help the poor fellow with ideas for a REAL job! Good suggestions, hope he listens and lift his royal butt to work for a change!! That way, DK can reach his dream of becoming the official royal butler as well.

 

 


Veiled Prophet of Khorasan

ptehrani Jaan

by Veiled Prophet of Khorasan on

 

I agree that Unity is needed. I am happy to work with most groups. But please do not ask me to work with the Mujahedeen. It won't happen. While we need unity we also need to beware of true enemies. 

I will work with people of most stripes. But the Mujahedeen showed their stripes when they agreed to work with Saddam. How low could someone gets? RP is an honorable man and I will not put him in the same group as MKO.


maziar 58

........

by maziar 58 on

Anonymouse jan Interesting you put SNL,,,, I'm a fan of that show too,also not much into the hollywood But movies come with the combination of fact & fiction to entertain the audiences.

please Rent the movies LAST SAMURAI and last emperor of china ....

And you'll notice that simple RESPECT that they have and we will never have capisce?

KHALAYEGH HAR CHE LAYEGH.

thanks for mrs.souri's honest input.               Maziar


ptehrani

Unity is needed

by ptehrani on

You should not discard any opposition to the Tehrani regime as long as they believe:

* The current system cannot reform and must change

* The future political system must be secular and democratic

Attacking Reza or Mojaheds or anyone else would help the regime in place.

Let's be more compromising and work towards the removal of the Tehran regime first. There should be then a fair and just debate in front of the Iranian people about the future system and at the end of the day, once well informed and familiar with each faction, they will decide.


gitdoun ver.2.0

LOVED IT !!!!

by gitdoun ver.2.0 on

That was great !!! Keep up the Good work !!!  I hope that spoiled rich little boy Pahlavi chokes on his filet mignon while reading your blog !!! I bet he couldn't even change a flat tire or fix a leaky faucet let alone run a country.  Monarchy be damned !!!! Mullahs be damned !!!! --100% Democracy for Iran without any prefix or suffix is our only permanent solution


Anahid Hojjati

Dear Anonymouse, as alwasy, you are very funny

by Anahid Hojjati on

 

Dear Anonymouse, I like your sense of humor. This blog is funny and hopefully even DK can admit this.  Pahlavi – scent of an empire is great.

I have only seen few videos of RP 's speeches but one thing going for him is that at least he doe not come across as an evil person like AN and many others in IRI.