Dreaming of God

Maybe that's the beginning of faith


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Dreaming of God
by bahmani
05-Oct-2011
 

On Saturday night, I:

a) Either dreamed of God and am now the next prophet, or

b) The combination of tomato sauce, quadruple (sorry Arash jan!) distilled 360 Vodka, watching a repeat AC360 on CNN talk about the impact of the Palestinian request for statehood at the UN, after 11pm, causes weird dreams.

Here's the dream;

I'm standing in a windy cloudy wasteland. It is that time just after sunset where the sky is still light but nightfall is approaching, I guess you call that twilight. About 20-30 feet away there is a door in the middle of the ground. No walls, no house, just a door. Like something off of a Yes album cover.

I look down at my hand and in it is a chalice, an over-sized crystal mug, ornate, with gold rim and decoration, Something King Arthurey, something like the holy grail. It is pointing downward, as if I had just drank from it and emptied the rest of the contents onto the dirt.

Suddenly the chalice lifts up my arm and by itself points to the door and starts to violently shake and vibrate. My hand is weightless and being held aloft by the chalice which is opening the door. Suddenly the door opens and behind it is a bright but orange-yellow light that is not hard on the eyes, it even feels good and warm, but definitely not hot.

As the door opens, for some reason that I cannot explain, I know that I have this overwhelming urge and speak the following words, "Ya EESA! Ya Mohmmad! Ya Rasoul-ollah! Ya Allah!"

At that point, the door opens up fully and what appears to be Jesus, followed by Mohammad off to his side, and behind them both, another larger older looking person whom I take to be God.

They walk out and onto the dirt, the wind picks up in a major way which is understandable, but just swirls at their feet. They approach me and within a few feet stop, we are all bathed in the glow and warmth of the yellow-orange light and no one speaks, but everyone including me is saying something without talking or moving our mouths, and we all understand each other and what everyone is saying simultaneously at once.

No one is either scared, sad, angry, or happy. And what is happening is absolutely clear. There is total harmony and total agreement.

Then everything becomes silent, the wind stops, they turn and walk back into the door, which closes taking the warm light with it, my hand drops to my side once again, the chalice is now cold and lifeless. I have the greatest feeling of contentment, and an overwhelming feeling of complete consciousness, and a great sense of a knowing, an exact full knowing of what I am supposed to do. I feel as if I have no more questions.

I wake up and confirm the dream, by running it through my head again over and over again, so as not to forget. I then get up hit the head, come back take a drink of water, and go back to sleep.

On Sunday I woke up, and immediately began to replay the events of the dream in my head.

Wasteland- check,
Golden crystal chalice- check,
Door-check,
Wind- check,
Door opens J, M, & G appear- check,
voiceless chit chat- check,
What am I supposed to do? .... Uh... Uh... SHIT!!!"

Try as I might I could not remember what that thing was that during the dream I was so certain I knew that I was supposed to do. After a holy visit in a dream from Jesus, Mohammad, and God. I sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed my eyes awake, and again tried to focus on repeating steps as I memorized them before going back to sleep. But try as I might, I couldn't for the life of me remember the last step, the most important thing, what it was I was supposed to do.

What if I was the next prophet? What if I was the one, who if he remembered the thing, was the thing that is supposed to save the world? What if because I was unable to remember the instructions, I now cannot fulfill my charter. What if the reason that I forgot the thing, was because I have been so faithless? What if this was a test and Jesus, Mohammad and God enter other people's dreams like this, routinely looking for the right person with the right kind of faith?

I hope that is the case, because it is true, I have been utterly faithless my whole life. And I'd hate to start having a false faithless faith now, when it is obvious and takes a visit from all 3 to prove it. I hope that my general unworthiness is the reason why I was unable to remember the thing that was so obvious that must be done.

Because what I do remember was that throughout the dream, I kept thinking how great it was to finally meet these 3, and how great it was that they actually existed, and how too bad it was that I did not believe in them, even though they were now right there, obviously, in front of me, my whole life.

All day Sunday I tried to remember the dream and the thing and replay it in my head, by not trying to think too hard, just in case it might come back. So I watched a lot of mindless football, the Niners beat the better rated Eagles 24-23, and the Raiders a valiant but ultimately predictably doomed effort against the Patriots, but who still managed to give Tom Brady a nice visit to the Bay Area he will not soon forget.

But I could not reconnect to the thing, it was gone.

I tried to justify and explain my lack of memory, by telling myself that it was because of faithlessness, I would be unworthy of such an important message and task anyway, and that in the grand scheme of things, in the end, it is probably better that I failed the test, and that there are far more faithful and worthier people than me who deserve the job more.

Part of me thinks it would have been awesome to be the one to save the world, especially at this time, but part me thinks that might be too easy, and there's nothing wrong with waiting for things to get a little worse, and we all wait a little longer, for the right person to come along.

Maybe that's the beginning of faith.

By the way in case you're wondering, God is most definitely an older 60-something man with long grey and black hair, and beard. He wore a longish white shirt with white loose pants, and reminded me a lot of Demis Roussos. Which now makes total sense.

Hakunah Matata.


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more from bahmani
 
Disenchanted

The immediate cause has been bunch of neurons firing

by Disenchanted on

 

      what caused them to fire, could be that Vodka, tomato sauce,or simply random firing! The thing is, it was all in your head! :-)

       That's where god is. In our heads. By the way no one "saves" the world. The closest it gets, perhaps was Steve Jobs! :-)

         Historically, anytime one came along to save the world, it didn't end well. Usually others ended up saving the world from him! :-)