300BC
A short film

March 16, 2007
iranian.com

King Khamenei (for it is he): I hear the Greeks have made a film.

Ahmadinejad: Tis true Sire. Apparently, it depicts us as a bunk of dark-skinned savages.

King Khamenei: How objectionable. I am not dark-skinned. Nor was Ayatollah Khomeini or Khatami.

Ahmadinejad: Yes, Sire.

Khamenei: You are though.

Ahmadinejad: Yes, Sire. Shall we bomb Israel?

Khamenei: Why?

Ahmadinejad: Er, because they’re Jews.

Khamenei: No, let’s start a petition.

Ahmadinejad: For what Sire?

Khamenei: For the release of political prisoners.

Ahmadinejad: But, Sire, the film is misrepresenting us as darkies. I have a cousin from shomal who is blond.

Khamenei: What’s his name.
Ahmadinejad: Akbar.

Khamenei: Ah. There was an Admiral Akbar in Star Wars.

Ahmadinejad: Yes, he looked like a lizard.

Khamenei: Clearly runs in the family.

Ahmadinejad: As you wish, Sire. About that petition.

Khamenei: Yes, let’s write a letter to The Economist. We’ll demand that that fine newspaper lobbies our government to release Ahmad Batebi.

Ahmadenejad: Batebi, Sire?

Khamenei: Batebi owes his iconic status to appearing on its front cover, no?

Ahmadinejad: Yes, sire.

Khamenei: Were it not for the potency of that image, with the blood-soaked shirt – we wouldn’t be torturing him to this day, no?

Ahmadinejad: Indeed, Sire.

Khamenei: He deserves a petition.

Ahmadinejad: As you command, Sire.

Khamenei: So do those women we arrested the other week.

Ahmadinejad: Yes, Sire.

Khamenei: And the teachers demanding pay – a petition for them.

Ahmadinejad: Yes sire.

Khamenei: In fact, there’s a petition to have you removed, is there not.

Ahmadinejad: Indeed, Sire. And what of the Greeks?

Khamenei: What?

Ahmadinejad: Their cultural invasion.

Khamenei: That poxy film?

Ahmadinejad: Yes.

Khamenei: There’s already 300 petitions for that. Comment

-- Stand-up comedy: See Peyvand Khorsandi in Berkeley on April 14, 2007
-- Blog: Soul Bean Café