 Dumbo
I couldn't believe what I heard
By Joojoo
November 21, 2001
The Iranian
I am feeling a little bothered by this year's CMAs, which to most of
you might sound like just another half-assed acronym.
I had just gotten back from New York where I had spent the majority of
my time shopping for "I love NY" T-shirts and memorabilia. I had
also gone to "Ground-Zero" and therefore I was feeling a bit emotional
and vulnerable about the tragedy which I refer to as the "day".
I dropped my luggage on top of my stuffed FAO Schwartz Duck (Elnaz),
and plopped atop my bed. Normally, I have about 5-6 channels that I stick
to and skim through (CNN, HBO, BBC, Comedy, etc.), even though I have access
to about 500, not to mention the Iranian satellite that my mother has had
installed in the living room of my apartment for her entertainment purposes
while she's in the US.
So, on this glorious yet exhausting day I was fortunate and unfortunate
enough to turn to the right channel at the right time or vice versa (considering
the nature of what I saw). It was the end segment of the CMAs which stands
for Country Music Awards and yes, they do have an awards show in case you
didn't know, why? I have no clue ... after reading this you'll conclude
that they probably don't either.
As I was saying, it was the end segment of the "program" and
it was their closing song which had been written in memory of September
11 and appropriately named "That September Day". It seemed like
a nice song even though I do not listen to Country music AT ALL, but still,
remember?
I was feeling emotional and vulnerable, so I didn't bother changing the
channel, I thought I might be able to entice a tear or two with the lyrics
of this "Country" melody while my semi -American patriotism mood
was in effect (it rarely pops up).
As soon as I started to think about peeling onions and lightly rub my
left eye, I heard the most idiotic and sorry excuse for lyric writing talent
I had ever heard of in my 23 years. I quote this verse, "I've seen
CNN, but I still don't know the difference between eye-rak and eye-ran".
I couldn't believe what I had just heard. Was this guy for real? Did
he misread his rough draft? Did he skip out on history class or had he just
skipped out on books and education in general?
My first reaction was to laugh at the apparent ignorance he had just
shared with the prime time CBS viewing public, which probably consisted
of Country fans only, with the exception of the lucky channel surfers like
myself.
This gentleman/idiot would have been more "sangeen" if he had
just tattooed "DUMBO" on his forehead but, then again that would
be giving him too much credit and degrading one of my favorite childhood
cartoon characters, Dumbo. Okay, maybe if he had just written "Ignorant"
on his forehead, it would have justified, but, then again, not really.
I was born and raised here in America, although I have lived in Iran
for a total of 3-4 years, and attended an International school there (Tatbighi).
I travel back and forth between my beloved and understated Iran annually,
so, I feel a very close bond between myself and the "Motherland".
I also have a strong pull for America (Washington DC metro area to be
exact) as well, due to my time, life, and memories here, and I feel that
anything (okay, almost anything) I might have to say is unbiased, but this
guy really made my nostrils flare.
I'm in the process of writing a nice little piece to CBS and intend to
submit it by next week. I'll keep you informed as to their response in regards
to their lack of "deserved" censorship.
This is the United States of America which prides itself on "freedom
of speech" which I support and market %110. But should the media of
this great melting pot be so ignorant as to allow this sort of word structure?
Don't they have rehearsals? Don't they have a lyrics approval process?
In case they don't, shouldn't a 60-something-year-old country singer
have better pronunciation as well as an IQ capacity which exceeds - %1?
I guess in a perfect world they would, but, this was just inconsiderate
and unthoughtful. Maybe they should just change the acronym to stand for
Completely Mindless Adults.
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