Water to a tree
I have to do everything I can to learn more about my culture

Solmaz Separy
May 20, 2005
iranian.com

I have never lived in Iran. Everything I have ever learned comes from my parents’ knowledge about our beautiful country. I have learned about our customs, traditions, mannerisms, and history through associating with other Iranian people and of course visiting Iran a few times when I was a child, allowed me to experience the country to a certain extent for myself. However, I do not believe that at that time when I had the opportunity of visiting Iran, I really understood or cared much about learning more about our culture.

In the last two or three years, as I have entered my early 20’s I have geared towards a great interest to all things Iranian. There were a few experiences that I had (good and bad) which led me to this fascination towards our culture, and without these experiences, I do not know if I would be the person I am today. When I look back, I cannot even believe that a few years ago, I did not even listen to Persian music, and now, I am finding myself writing articles for an Iranian magazine in Toronto, Canada.

I have come to believe that a as an Iranian-Canadian, I have to do everything I can to learn more about my culture, so one day I can instill the same traditions and customs to my children as my parents have done for me, and this is something that I strongly encourage to all young Iranians, in whatever goals and aspirations they have for themselves.

I have been missing the idea of Iran very much lately, and I am worried like many Iranian that have been raised abroad that I will not have the opportunity to go back to my country, and maybe that is why in the last few years I have come to realize that I have a void, and no matter how much I try and fill this empty space within me by the knowledge I am acquiring about Iran, I can never truly know or experience the country for myself.

Sometimes, I feel so lost, that I feel like I do not belong anywhere, not here in Canada as a Canadian, and not in Iran as an Iranian; and this fact bothers me a great deal, and I am to this day not sure how I am supposed to deal with this aspect of my life.

I know that this new-found curiosity partly has to do with my parents. I have grown up listening to their stories of life in Iran, both in the pre-revolutionary context and the post-revolutionary context. I listen to their stories attentively and envy what they have experienced, and at the same time, I do not want to be unthankful for the freedom and way of life they have provided for me here in Canada.

They tell me stories about when they were my age, and how they did not worry much about the future and monetary issues that they might have faced. As far as I know, life was different then; it was much simpler. And when I hear these stories from my parents, sometimes I wish it was me who drove to “shomal” and had “chello kabab” along the way; I wish it was me who listened to Googoosh’s voice now, and had memories of who she was and how she made me feel when I was younger.

But all of these things that I know I do not have and have not experienced, I also understand that I’m lucky to hear about. I feel and sense these things through my parents’ eyes and the memories that they share with me. I am so lucky in that way, and I know there are many other young people in abroad that feel just the way I do.

However, at the same time, I know that the Iran that they grew up in when they were my age, is not the Iran that young people are experiencing today, so at some point in my life, I feel the need to sense our country through my own eyes and make my own judgments about it. Right now, all I can do is learn through reading and acquiring more knowledge.

Even though my need to learn more about our culture arose a few years ago; my need to learn academically about Iranian history really transpired this year in law school. I was sitting in one of my classes where active participation in the topics discussed in lecture is an essential part of this class. The professor begins a topic discussed previously during lectures and then asks each of us questions. This class was based on legal systems and political issues. However, I made one mistake of thinking that it would only be pertaining to our legal system in the West.

I was sitting in class and the professor was going in a circle posing questions to each of us. Our class was quite international and I soon realized that the questions that he was asking had nothing to do with systems in the West, but he was strictly interested in my Iranian background and the legal system in Iran: I knew absolutely nothing about this. He asked me a question about the election system in Iran, and I quickly had to think of something to say without looking stupid.

I suddenly remembered an article that I had read on the current electoral system in Iran and I answered my professor’s question with a line I had read in the article which surprisingly enough, made me look very smart, even though I had no idea what I was talking about.

In crucial times like this, I find it’s quite important not to let down your guard and try to think of anything that makes you look smart in front of a well-respected professor (but only if you know what you’re saying could possibly make some sense!!). Amazingly, he was quite pleased with my response, and luckily for me, he did not further question me on these issues.

I do not believe I have ever felt so incompetent about myself. How could I not know more about my own country? Why had I not ever spent the time reading more about our system of government in Iran? I decided that I would never put myself in that position again. I went home that night and began my research on Iran. There is much to cover since we have such a vast history, but I began and I am now learning a great deal, although I still do not feel confident having an intellectual conversation on these topics.

Our culture is one of the oldest and most traditional in the world, and we should be proud of who we are and where we come from.. I have learned that no matter what political views we hold for ourselves, it is important to read about our Iranian history with an open mind, in order to avoid bias and make clear decisions on which views we choose to hold for ourselves.

I have learned that it is time to stop relying on information that I have received through family and friends based on memories or on their own views about our country. It’s time to make up my mind for myself , and the only way I can achieve that is through educating myself.

About
Solmaz Separy is a columnist for Iran Javan magazine in Toronto.