God is my contractor and the angels are the ones who deliver the assignments to me
January 6, 2007
I am a hitman
I mark only a few.
I mark a few by brushing shoulders with those who are in need of help, and ready to make a move ... to take a step ... to heal a heart or to break the chains of slavery, but yet are not aware of their readiness.
I am their enabler.
I am a hitman
I hit only a few.
I hit a few who must be nullified, in order to be removed from the path of the ones who need to proceed on their roads of their destinies.
I am their worst nightmare.
I mark and hit only a few.
I don’t go for masses.
That is not for me.
My skills are too refined for that.
The ones who go for masses affect a lot of people but very little.
I affect a few people but a lot.
I am not trying to discredit those who turn to masses by my statement above. No. I am just telling you about what I do and what I am. Why? ... so that you would know who you are dealing with ... not that it matters, or that you would act differently ... but still ... ..I have to do this. I have to inform you about what you are getting into. That is part of the deal; an unwritten rule for all hitmen.
When coming to me you have to either wear tuxedo or come in your underwear.
No middle way exists.
No wishy-washy feelings or acts.
No time for being wasted.
In my game you have to put your money where your mouth is.
In encountering me there are no jokes.
Because I use a knife.
I am an ‘Orillero’ a ‘Tanguero’ ... an ex-‘Guarrero’!
In my fights, I don’t use heavy artillery, or a rifle or a pistol.
I use a knife.
Because my battles are always very close to me.
I always see and feel the despair of the ones that I have to enable. I always smell the blood pouring form their hearts. I always taste the taste of their tears. I always see their unfulfilled dreams displayed before my eyes as a motion picture. And I offer them a rope to grab, so that they can pull themselves up from the bottom of the precipice they are at.
But I never stay long enough to see their liberation.
I simply leave when I feel that they are able to do the rest themselves.
I always smell the repulsive smell of my enemies’ breath and feel the heat of their blood running from their artery warming my hand when I push the non-compromising, naked, sharp and innocent blade of my knife into their throats.
I stay until they take their last breath.
I have to get very close to my enemies you see. Because If I don’t get close enough, many who are protecting or simply are around them will also perish. Many who may not be responsible for my enemy’s actions and not even be aware of what their patron does ... and so ... .they may not deserve the same punishment as my enemy, and their time may not have yet arrived to be punished. But most importantly, because I was not contracted for them.
That’s why I use a knife and not a rifle, shooting around randomly. I hit only one particular target for whom I was contracted for and leave the rest alone.
I never choose my enemy.
They are always assigned to me.
They are always given to me and put on my path by my contractor.
As the matter of fact they are not even my enemies.
I have no personal enemy anymore.
I have already overcome my own enemy.
My enemy was pain.
He was the chief of command of my ‘Personalized Devil’, commanding over many demons mercenaries and devil’s concubines.
But I killed him.
One day I took my enemy, pain, to the altar and cut his throat off with my knife (the same knife that I use today as a hitman).
I forced him on his knees, let him look into my icy eyes, stroke his head with my burning bloody hand and thanked him.
Then ... I cut his throat off.
I cut his throat off without a feeling of revenge or anger.
Cutting his throat off was an act without any sensation, just something that I had to do.
Cutting his throat off was only the period I had to put in front of the finished sentence of ‘The Battle of my Life for my Life’.
At that time, there was no strong emotion, no tension, and no change in the rhythm of my heart, no heavy breathing nor any adrenaline rush.
There was nothing to be felt.
What ever I had to feel, I had felt during the battle itself. That is why my eyes were blank and my face without any expression.
I think that was the last insult I gave my enemy - killing him without any hatred.
Then I saw Michelangelo’s conqueror, looking at me with envy. You see, his conqueror cut the throat of his enemy too, but at the same moment he felt defeated. He felt the irony in winning and loosing being the same.
But for me it was different.
My victory had no flipside.
From that day on, my spiritual name became “VICTOR” and my nature a ‘PREDATOR’ and my profession a ‘HITMAN´’.
So, personally, I no longer have any enemies.
The ones that I hit I have no attachment to.
They are just elements that have to be nullified. And that is when they send me and me alike.
Nor do I choose the ones whom I have to enable. I don’t know them. I don’t even know where they come from and most often I don’t even identify myself with them or find myself at the same wavelength.
But that is understandable, because if I would get attached to the ones who I enable or the ones that I have to nullify, I may hesitate in the moment of truth.
I may get weak and feel sorry for the ones that I am enabling, when I mercilessly push them over the edge, so that they learn to spread their wings out of necessity – not crashing and die – or when I have to rub my knife against my enemy’s artery, letting their life blood run away, emptying their hearts of blood, breaking their spirits and nullifying them.
My line of business is harsh.
My line of business is hard.
My line of business is lonely.
My line of business is tiring.
My line of business requires cynicism, and yet heartfullness, passion and a burning heart.
My line of business requires one to be a full-fledged predator.
Yes ... a predator.
But not any kind of predator.
It requires a light-winged dying traveler predator, without a heart, without a family, without a hometown and without a home.
And that ... I am.
It sounds contradictory ... ha?
That is my line of business.
That is my way of life.
That is how I and me alike live.
I did didn’t choose my line of business.
It was given to me and I complied.
It was the price I had to pay because I got to remain here on this earth a little longer, after my death; to carry out duties - as a hitman.
Just to indulge your curiosity, I died about some three years ago.
I don’t charge for my services, because I am not a mercenary. I am an employee. I am a soldier ... a musketeer who has to do whatever he is told and does it because of his faith.
That is why I will not be tempted by the devil, selling my services and skills to the highest bidder.
I act out of faith and conviction.
God is my contractor and the angels are the ones who deliver the assignments to me - whom to enable and whom to nullify.
God works through mysterious ways it has been said.
It is true.
I am a living proof of that.
My own needs are not important.
I may suffer from loneliness, unfulfilled desires and much more, but that is not important.
I am not important.
Only one thing is important ...
... The battle.
I am a hitman, but I look like a lamb. Except for the look in my eyes and the sound of my laughter – that not many get to hear.
I am a hitman.
I touch a few people only, but I affect them a lot.
But that’s only here.
Soon it will be different.
Soon, I will be leading a whole legion.
You see, every general needs to first act as a solitary hitman, brushing up his skills and getting comfortable with the smell of blood, learn to get his hands dirty, feel the adrenaline rush and still learn to remain calm. He needs to understand what his foot soldiers will have to go through.
Only then he can lead a whole legion with heart and love.
I am a hitman.
Be aware of me and me alike.
Because you may meet me or me alike some day.
Pray as you have never prayed before.
Pray that you will not be on my second list – the ones that I have to nullify.
Because I and me alike will show no mercy! Comment
May 2004, Dubai