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How do I hate Iran
Let me count the ways

By Gojeh Ezaafeh
February 13, 2002
The Iranian


I hate the people, language, culture of "taarof"


I hate the posers, showoffs, brats and bitches


I hate the liars, lies, betrayals and corruption


I hate the cowardice


I hate the families and relatives


I hate the repeated self-inflicted oppression and brutality


I hate the stupidity and stubbornness


I hate the Paykan


I hate the Beemer, Benz, Lexus and Acura


I hate the ghaali foroosh


I hate the real estate agent, chiropractor, dentist, doctor


I hate the engineer; software, hardware, civil, electrical


I hate the student; UCLA, USC, Berkeley, NYU, GW


I hate the roosari, chador, amaameh and abaa


I hate the "depict-Iran-as-a-backward-shithole" films that win at Cannes


I hate the vomitous websites


I hate the ponciness of Black Cats, Andy, Mortzavi, and Siavash


I hate the reformer, hardliner, monarchist and "chapi"


I hate the Googoosh syndrome


I hate the stuck-in-the-seventies-can't-come-up-with-anything-better TV shows


I hate the, drill-a-hole-in-your-brain beat of "deesko", 6:8, and "beshkan"


I hate the "Mediterranean" cuisine


I hate the fruit seller for saying "Khanoum! Savaa nakon!"


I hate the Bazaar


I hate the phone rate, inflation rate, exchange rate


I hate the smell of esfand, sonbol, golaab, and ghormeh sabzi


I hate the ruins of Persepolis


I hate the word "Persian"


-


"Why do you hate it?" you ask.


I hate it for it's constant irritation,


an itch unscratchable, a thorn unremovable, a cut unhealable.


Like shrapnel lodged deep in my soul


Whose removal is emotional paralysis


-

Maybe, I hate it because I love it.


Maybe, I hate it because I love it too much.


Maybe, I hate it because it never, ever, once loves me back.

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