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How do I hate Iran
Let me count the ways

By Gojeh Ezaafeh
February 13, 2002
The Iranian

I hate the people, language, culture of "taarof"

I hate the posers, showoffs, brats and bitches

I hate the liars, lies, betrayals and corruption

I hate the cowardice

I hate the families and relatives

I hate the repeated self-inflicted oppression and brutality

I hate the stupidity and stubbornness

I hate the Paykan

I hate the Beemer, Benz, Lexus and Acura

I hate the ghaali foroosh

I hate the real estate agent, chiropractor, dentist, doctor

I hate the engineer; software, hardware, civil, electrical

I hate the student; UCLA, USC, Berkeley, NYU, GW

I hate the roosari, chador, amaameh and abaa

I hate the "depict-Iran-as-a-backward-shithole" films that win at Cannes

I hate the vomitous websites

I hate the ponciness of Black Cats, Andy, Mortzavi, and Siavash

I hate the reformer, hardliner, monarchist and "chapi"

I hate the Googoosh syndrome

I hate the stuck-in-the-seventies-can't-come-up-with-anything-better TV shows

I hate the, drill-a-hole-in-your-brain beat of "deesko", 6:8, and "beshkan"

I hate the "Mediterranean" cuisine

I hate the fruit seller for saying "Khanoum! Savaa nakon!"

I hate the Bazaar

I hate the phone rate, inflation rate, exchange rate

I hate the smell of esfand, sonbol, golaab, and ghormeh sabzi

I hate the ruins of Persepolis

I hate the word "Persian"


"Why do you hate it?" you ask.

I hate it for it's constant irritation,

an itch unscratchable, a thorn unremovable, a cut unhealable.

Like shrapnel lodged deep in my soul

Whose removal is emotional paralysis


Maybe, I hate it because I love it.

Maybe, I hate it because I love it too much.

Maybe, I hate it because it never, ever, once loves me back.

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